We all pray for a good report at our yearly check-up at the doctor, don’t we? We go with the desire to stay on top of health issues that may be a concern. Early diagnosis is best they say. That way things can be treated. How about our marriages? Do you ever take a good hard look at your marriage to make sure it’s healthy? It’s best to find problems before they get deep roots. So, let’s take a look at a few symptoms that your marriage is indeed thriving!
- You and your husband make one another the first relational priority. The children have needs, but your spouse’s needs come first. That means you use your extra time to be with your husband. For instance, if there’s a conflict in schedules between doing something with your husband and running your teen to the school’s football game, you will choose to spend the time with him. Or if your little one is whining to sleep with you, you give him hugs and prayers, and tuck him into bed so you and your husband can be a couple – not a family at bedtime. Girlfriends are fun, but you’d rather spend time hanging out with your husband than shopping with the girls.
- There is a tenderness in words and gestures. Harsh, angry words don’t flow between two people in love. Everyone has disagreements from time to time, but in a healthy relationship, a couple doesn’t slash one another up with the knives of their words. Tones are kind. Words are chosen thoughtfully. Timing of when to share a concern is also considered. Loving gestures such as an embrace, a kiss, a wink, a hand on his arm, or clasped inside his should all be regular parts of every married couple.
- Your lives are on one track. You’re not going in two separate directions. You’re involved together in the raising of your children and are on the same page. You minister and worship together as co-laborers. Though you may each have separate interests (he plays golf and you love working out at the gym), you have things you enjoy together as a couple. You each have your daily responsibilities, but it’s your desire to get home to be there together and share your lives as one.
There are many other signs we could talk about, but these three are good starters. If you took the evaluation and see there’s a cancer growing and things aren’t as healthy as they should be, don’t despair! If you’re alive and so is your husband, there is hope! Why? Because God is also alive! He can revive and strengthen your marriage. Here’s my advice you, dear wife:
- Put the need(s) in your prayer journal. Pray daily for change. Ask specifically that the Lord will help YOU do what you need to bring change. For instance, if you say that #3 is the problem – then do what you can to get on your husband’s track. If you’re not involved in worship together, then put yourself in a position to be with him at church. Ask him where you could serve together. Sit together in preaching service.
- You do whatever the Lord brings to your mind. Do you need to start being affectionate? Do it! Do you need to consider his schedule before you make plans? Do you need to tell your child “no” so you can show your husband he is first in your heart and in your day?
- You seek to change what you can with God’s help and see if health is restored to your marriage.
What about these requests seem impossible? Believe the truth – With God all things are possible! Matt. 19:26
What attributes show a healthy marriage to you?