Recently while spending time with a sweet mom of young daughters, she asked me a question that I’ve continued to ponder even after our time together was ended. She simply asked,
How would you recommend a mom invest in her daughters?
That question was asked by a young woman who wants to make the most of her time with her girls – as I’m sure most moms with children are desirous to do. Days can fly by quicker than a spinning bobbin, leaving a mother saddened at missed moments and uncaptured opportunities. I feel that way myself sometimes as see other moms doing such a great job nurturing their girls. It’s easy to think, “If only I had…,” but that’s not thinking Philippians 4:8 thoughts, so I quickly snatch the thought back and thank the Lord for what I was able to share with my girls while they were home.
As I continued to think about the answer to that great question, I’ve pondered these thoughts:
- What is “investing?” It means to give with a purpose to achieve something.
- We must determine what we want to achieve! Godliness, Christlikeness, biblical thinking and femininity are all great goals for our daughters.
- How will I get there? The list that follows would help achieve these:
- Pour God’s Word into them from the moment of conception. Deut. 6:5-9 Teach them of salvation, God’s will for their lives, and God’s will for women.
- Teach them how to love God’s Word and how to have a Quiet Time. Get them a journal (a blank one for coloring what they learned, then graduate the style as they mature).
- Teach them how to pray. Show them how to use a Prayer journal.
- Teach them about submission. Use practical illustrations and most importantly your example to God, Christ, your husband, and pastor.
- Encourage their talents. When I realized that both my girls had God-given musical talents, I took them to lessons and wouldn’t let them quit while they were in our home. I felt responsible for that ability to be encouraged so they could use that for the Lord!
- Take them to “girl-y” events and places – Tea rooms, nice restaurants, etc. so you can teach them good manners, and how to enjoy a nice setting like that. It doesn’t have to happen every week – it could be once a year on their birthday. Just make it regular so you can instill etiquette and also make it the special event that it is!
- Have fun! Laugh with your girls. Lay on the bed and talk and just have fun together. This isn’t “buddy-time,” remember, you’re the mom, but show them that moms can be pretty fun to be around!
- One funny memory my girls and I share is April Fools Day; I loved to pull little, harmless pranks on them. Life can be pretty serious, and it’s great to enjoy the medicine of laughter when you can!
- Make sure you have an honest chat with them before they reach puberty. They need to understand the truths of the changes in their body and husband/wife relationships from a biblical perspective, rather than the slanted opinion of their uneducated friends. Talk to them. Teach them. They’ll be satisfied early on with generalities. You can get specific as their wedding day approaches. Open the door for them to ask you questions about anything.
- Teach them how to cook and handle themselves in the kitchen. By the time they’re ready to leave home, they should be able to put an entire meal on the table. Let them have their friends over and cook for them. This is teaching hospitality as well!
- Teach them homemaking skills – laundry, ironing, cleaning a bathroom, spring cleaning, etc.
- Give them responsibilities and chores so they know how to manage a home.
- Tell them about your love story with your husband. Remind them that God’s plan is BEST! They can trust God to provide if He desires for them to be married.
- Model before her the joy of your marriage! Brag on her daddy and love him. That may be the second best gift you could give her (the first being showing her Christ)!
I’m sure there are lots of other ways to invest in a daughter, but these are some of the highlights in my own heart. Remember that the years will be gone quicker than you know, so make the most of today. Make this day your focus – not her teen years, or even what you messed up in the past. Even if your daughter is grown, you can still invest in her life! An adult daughter is one of the best friendships you can enjoy! Keep investing!