Blessings and Lessons From 35 Years of Marriage

It feels surreal that today my husband and I are staring our 35th anniversary in the face.  Of course all the math plays out perfectly – the ages of our girls, the number of years we have lived here and there, and our years in ministry.  It’s just that it seems to all have happened while we had our heads turned, if you know what I mean.  Nonetheless here we are, and to say that it’s a HUGE blessing would be an understatement.

When Andy on The Andy Griffith Show asks Floyd what he knows about love, Floyd retorts,

“What do I know about love?!  You can’t cut hair for 30 years and not learn something!”

Well, neither can you be married for 35 years and not learn something!! As I pondered our years together, I’ve thought about what I’ve learned.   Here are some of my lessons:

1. Being in love is a choice that a person makes each day.  You might not always feel in love, but the choice is made in your head, not your heart.
2. Marriage is each spouse giving 100%.
3. The best marriage is the one where each one tries to out-serve the other.
4. The best thing I can give my husband is respect (I wish I’d understood that years ago!)
5. The best way to change my husband is to let God do it!  That means I must simply pray and let God deal with him!
6. The best thing I can do for my children is to love their dad.
7. After God, my husband is to be my first priority.  He’s above children, friends, work or my plans.
8. I cannot take one day, one hour, one minute of time with my husband for granted.
9. Life is too short to carry a grudge against him.
10. Lack of forgiveness for an offense will do far greater damage than humbling myself and letting the grievance go.
11. Marriage should be enjoyed every single day.
12. Physical Intimacy in marriage is God’s plan.
13. The physical relationship is not sin; it is not disgusting.
14. Intimacy in marriage  must be important to me because it’s important to my spouse.
15. Departures should always be sealed with a kiss – whether it’s for an hour, an afternoon, a day or a week away.
16. My spouse is for me!
17. My spouse was created for me!
18. I was created for my spouse!
19. I have the choice (and power) to encourage or discourage my husband.
20. Little annoyances are more a problem in my heart than they are in his life.
21. It’s better to have real, genuine love than to have things.
22. You don’t need material possessions to have a happy marriage.
23. Prayer is the remedy for all marriage struggles; at the cross all “issues” seem really insignificant.
24. I’m as needy of a Savior as my spouse.  No matter what he does, we are equal at the cross.
25. Married life makes joys doubled and sorrows halved.
26. Marriage is God’s wonderful design and plan, and I should enjoy it because God created it.
27. As we age, if I expect my husband to love me as I am, I need to love him as he is!
28. This is the only time we can enjoy marriage (there is no giving in marriage in heaven), so have fun!!
29. I set the atmosphere in our home.
30. If I’m not praying for my husband, who is?
31. A smile, a kind word and a kiss is the best way to greet my husband.
32. Good words from me encourage his heart.
33. Keeping myself fixed up and looking my best is an important way to show him I care.
34. Little things are big things in keeping a happy marriage – a small gift, a wink, a hand squeeze, a note on the pillow – they strengthen your relationship more than the big things.
35. You’ll never have this moment, this hour, this day, this anniversary ever again. Enjoy right now.  It’s creating a memory for tomorrow.

I am blessed beyond measure with the gift of Dale.  How thankful I am for God’s graciousness in giving me such a wonderful, loving, husband.  I am a better woman because of him in my life!

Refresh you marriage today, friends!

Celebrating 35 years,