Marriage · Refreshment in marriage · Uncategorized

The Cost of Neglect in Marriage

After a lovely week’s vacation, a stroll in my yard brought sights like this…


Weeds!  It’s amazing what just a little time away will do to a summer yard!

Proverbs 10:4 reminds us ~

He becometh poor that dealeth with a slack hand:
but the hand of the diligent maketh rich.

My hand had been idle, while on vacation, but when the temperatures had cooled off some and the humidity was in breathing range, I donned my garden gloves and headed out to give this poor Dianthus some badly needed attention.  My hand was diligent to take care of the neglected landscape.

While I was tugging and pulling at the stubborn intruders, the Lord brought to my mind a simple truth: neglect in any area of our lives spells t-r-o-u-b-l-e!  You name it – if you neglect your health, your work, or your spiritual walk, it’s an invitation to disaster.

Let’s think about another area in which neglect is deadly…a marriage.  It’s so easy to “take a little vacation” from really connecting with our spouse.


  • Communication is minimal – only informational at best,
  • Time together is when you drive to watch your son play ball after supper,
  • Frustrations from work and finances cause you to vent on him instead of dealing with  the sources of the irritation.

Weeds begin to sprout up.

Often instead of getting rid of the weeds in our marriage correctly, we pull out the weed eater and whack off the top so everything at least looks  better.  Someone might make a shallow apology and the trouble is swept under the rug.  Or you attend church together and just assume that the Lord will fix the mess going on underground in your hearts.  It does help things to move along well for a little while, but then it’s not long until it’s showing its ugly head once again.

What is really needed is a diligent hand and heart to work at the marriage.

  1. First of all, don’t “go on vacations” from each other.  When you sense that coolness coming between you, stop it before something blooms!  If it means going on a date so you can talk privately or even overnight, do it!
  2. Do something kind for your spouse.  A loving gesture goes a long way to remind him that you love him and want to stay close.
  3. Be reading godly books on marriage and refresh your commitment to be a godly wife – no matter what.  Remember, you are only responsible for you.
  4. Pray for your spouse, asking God to give you a fresh love for him.

If weeds are already blooming, seek help.  Don’t let pride get in your way.  Seek out your pastor’s counsel as a couple.  If your husband won’t go, ask if you can go without him.  Call a godly woman you trust and seek her biblical advice.

For the child of God, it’s never too late!  Rather than neglecting your marriage, get active keeping things not only looking good above ground, but deep down in the root of your heart.

What is neglect doing to your marriage and what action does your hand need to tend to in order to make your marriage a rich blessing?

One thought on “The Cost of Neglect in Marriage

  1. Denise, You always seem to know just what I need to hear. I just returned from a two week road trip and weeds popped up everywhere while I was gone. I need to go out and ponder the things you said while I tug and pull. Thanks for this post but most of all, thanks for being you. xoxoxoxo


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