Years ago I remember walking along a path in which there was absolutely no light. I had no cell phone flashlight in my pocket to aid my faltering steps. Therer was no moonlight or glowing porch bulb that might remove the terror of my feet. I found myself grappling along, inch by inch, down a concrete stairway and sidewalk in which I made every step cautiously and with hesitation. It was as though my toe would move forward and the rest of my body hesitated to follow, due to fear of what was ahead!
Fear can lead to lots of miserable things in our lives, but it can do the same in relationships. Let’s think about what fear in marriage can do. If a wife is afraid that her marriage might not make it, it can keep that relationship from experiencing the freedom that a simple light would have given me that night on the dark path. What might be the results in a marriage?
- It could push a wife to be secretive – She might keep back a stash of money or open a private bank account, “just in case.” In case what? In case she finds “this isn’t working,” or in case he does something she can’t forgive.
- It can keep a wife from being really vulnerable to her husband. This could be seen in her not sharing her needs, fears, or feelings with her spouse for fear that he would use that against her. It could be visible by her not fully enjoying the marriage relationship just because she is afraid it will show she is too dependent on him.
- It can cause a wife to become demanding and suspicious of her husband. Even if he’s never done something to cause the suspicion, she may fret that something is going on. If there has been a sin committed in the relationship, fear can so grip a wife’s heart that a repeat action is going on, that she becomes constantly fearful and perhaps even voices frequent questions/accusations that only prove to divide more than they heal.
So what is a wife to do if she has fears in her marriage? As a child of God,
In every situation I face, my response must be,
I believe God!
Our hope can’t lie in a man. Psalm 62:5 reminds us of this truth:
Oh my soul, wait thou only upon God, for my expectation is from Him.
God is my expectation – not my husband. The bottom line is that we can trust God with our marriage. We can trust God to handle the man we married. We can also trust God to quiet the fears that rise up in our hearts and threaten to bring darkness and trembling to our steps! So instead of being fearful:
- Turn your worries into prayer requests.
- Tell God what’s in your heart and ask Him to remove your fear. Ask Him to forgive your for the sin of worry.
- Ask God to deal justly with your husband, as He does you.
- Think more about your obedience in marriage than your husband’s.
- Read Scripture looking for commands to the wife.
- Obey the Truth of God’s Word in your role.
- Speak Truth to your fears by memorizing Scripture.
- Proverbs 3:5,6
- Philippians 4:6,7
- Psalm 9:9
- Psalm 34:17-19
- Psalm 55:22
After I got to my destination on my dark path, I was engulfed in light! I no longer walked haltingly! I could easily move forward! Let God lighten the path of your marriage today and then move forward with joy! Don’t reserve anything, but instead, BE ALL IN!