If you’re here from the recent couples’ retreat welcome…
There are risks any time you get in a car. There is the risk of an accident. There’s the risk of getting lost. There’s the risk of car trouble.
In every marriage there are also risks – things that come up that could cause a head-on collision.
- A Baby
- Health issues
- Job loss
- Financial stress
- Work loads
These things and many more issues can cause a marriage to end up in disaster – away from God – away from one another and away from the purpose of glorifying God and displaying the Gospel.
Proverbs 8 says that Wisdom builds her house/home.
What is a wife to do when marriage gets difficult? She must build her home with wisdom, the kind we read about in James 3. Let’s think about this as we make some analogies from a literal car trip.
1. When you’re lost, it’s helpful to check your directions. Look at the map. Ask for help. Be humble. Before honor is humility. Ask the Creator of marriage for His help and direction.
2. When the car/marriage stalls, check the gauges. James 3:14-16 When there is strife, there is evil, and that comes from the wisdom of this earth that is devilish (literally from hell).
James 3:17 – But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.
- Check the oil – Pure – Make sure you are right before God. Ask the Lord to reveal any sin you need to confess. I John 1:9
- Check the lubricant – Be Peaceable rather than irritating –
Proverbs 19:13 The contentions of a wife are a continual dropping. Make sure your responses aren’t like a contentious woman.
You don’t have to let a harsh badly-behaved man
turn you into a harsh badly behaved woman
Don’t try to get the last word.
Don’t try to convince him of your point. Be peaceable.
Don’t try to convince him of his sin – that’s the Holy Spirit’s job.
- Check the brake pads – Gentle – Brakes without pads screech and don’t stop well. Know when to put on the brakes (when to stop speaking)! Be gentle in your words and your responses. Add the softness that a woman of God would give.
Proverbs 9:13 A foolish woman is clamorous; she is simple, and knoweth nothing.
- Check the temperature gauge – Easy to be entreated – If the car is overheating, there’s a threat of real danger. The evidence is steam and smoke coming from the engine. Make sure you’re approachable. If your husband knows you’re going to fly into a rage if he talks to you, he won’t!
Proverbs 11:22 As a jewel of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion.
- Check the gas tank – Full of mercy & good fruits – Mercy remembers. It remembers that they’ve been forgiven. Go back to the cross. You are as needy of the cross as your husband – no matter what he’s done. Remember the mercy that was extended to you and give that same mercy to your spouse.
- Check the tire pressure – Without partiality – Tires need the same amount of pressure in each tire to ride smoothly. Extend to your husband what you would give to others. The same love, forgiveness, graciousness, and thoughtfulness you would give to your friend, your co-worker, or your children.
3. Remember that no trip/marriage was ever meant to fill your greatest longings.
We don’t start out on a trip thinking every mile is going to be perfect. We know it might rain. We know we could run into a traffic jam. We know that our marriage isn’t going to be perfect, but then when it stalls, we’re shocked and hurt. When our husband disappoints us, we feel that our life is shattered.
When we got saved, we began to get a little taste of all that is awaiting us in eternity. Romans 8 reminds us that we groan for heaven. The down payment has been paid for our salvation and we anticipate all that we will share with Christ forever. But right now we enjoy each little taste of the glory that is to come.
In marriage, we must look for each little blessing and remind yourself it’s not supposed to completely fill your longings – it’s only to give you a little taste for all that is to come when we get to heaven.
Ask the Lord to help you be satisfied with each taste He gives you!
Then ask how you can give your husband a foretaste of glory?
Look up and see the sign – Happily Ever After Just Ahead!