There are some really special verses that I pray for people on my prayer list.  Two verses are in Philippians one. Paul says in verses 9,10,

After I memorized that chapter last year, the Lord has often brought a phrase from those verses to my mind – that ye may approve things that are excellent.  Something that is excellent is “possessing outstanding quality or superior merit; remarkably good.”  Do you ever find yourself, as I do, wasting time on things that are not excellent – things that are just mediocre?  I get frustrated at how easy it is to waste time and  energy on unworthy things.

A godly woman needs to make excellence a trait that she exemplifies.  What would excellence look like in a woman’s life?  Perhaps we first need to note that excellence is not perfection. 

A woman of excellence will:

• make it a priority to do her best at whatever she attempts to do – I Corinthians 10:31, Eccl 9:10
• If she’s making a meal, she’ll not just throw something together, but will think ahead and make it tasteful and appealing.
• If she’s preparing a lesson she is to teach, she will study well and be as prepared as is possible, realizing that God is her Enabler.
• If she is getting dressed for the day, she will choose clothes that will give the right opinion of her God, will suit the occasion, and will be tasteful and attractive.
• spend her time wisely Psalm 90:12
• If she’s reading or watching a form of media, she will only allow material into her heart that is excellent. 
• This would eliminate
• books/movies that use the Lord’s name in vain or contain cursing
• books/movies that give the wrong view of husband/wife relationships
• books/movies that teach a wrong view of God
• books/movies that turn her heart from loving God
• If she’s using the computer, she will watch her time so that she isn’t spending more time than necessary staying in touch with her friends and family through email or Facebook
• She will make sure she saves time to accomplish that which would help her husband, children or home
• seek to improve herself  James 1:23-25
• Through the study of God’s Word
• Through memorization of the Bible
• Through learning new skills – see side note on this blog =)

A Patch the Pirate song comes to mind here…”Only my best will do for you, only my best will do.  Not second or third – that’s quite absurd, only my best will do!  That is the mindset of a woman of excellence.

I desire, and I’m sure you do too, to be a woman of excellence.  I’m praying Philippians 1:10 for myself now too.  I need the excellent things added to my life; mediocre just won’t do for my God.  We don’t desire excellence to be snobbish, but because we have a God of excellence and He deserves no less from me as His child. I have several specifics the Lord has shown me that I need to improve.   What areas of excellence do you need to work on? 

With love,

Ten and half years ago I was leaving the mall in a downpour.  I stood outside under the covering waiting while my husband went to get the car (he’s sweet that way!).  As I waited for him, a woman came out of the store and began to pop up her umbrella.  She looked over at me, and thinking that I was waiting out the rainstorm, she asked if she could walk me to my car under her umbrella.  I was so touched by her kindness!  That kind of gesture is truly unusual.  Here it is ten years later and I still remember that kindness she offered to do for me.

What is kindness?  Let’s define it –

Kindness – Acts that show others the love of God. 

Ephesians 4:32 – Be ye kind one to another…

The character trait of kindness is seen many times in the Scriptures. I think of David in II Samuel 9, as he seeks a way to show kindness for any of the family of his now deceased friend, Jonathan.  After learning about Jonathan’s crippled son, Mephibosheth, David brings him to the palace to live with him.  In verse seven it says, And David said unto him, Fear not: for I will surely shew thee kindness for Jonathan thy father’s sake, and will restore thee all the land of Saul thy father; and thou shalt eat bread at my table continually.

Kindness is a character trait that should be a part of our every day lives as believers.  It takes the first trait we talked about, attentiveness, to demonstrate kindness to others.  Otherwise, how will we even know that there is a need for kindness at that particular moment?

I think it would do us well to think of all the places we find ourselves in a day and ask:  “How can I show kindness in each of those places?

In public:
Just yesterday I heard of children, who saw a man at a restaurant spill his beverage, and go over immediately to help clean it up.  The man was so touched by their kindness that he bought them all ice cream!  That kind of action is rare – most would just look on and pity the poor man.

Hold a door open for someone approaching.  Take the cart back to the cart corral for an older woman.  Allow a driver to turn into the traffic in front of you.  Greet the store clerk and be friendly with her as she checks out your groceries.

At a restaurant:
We hear so often that the Sunday crowd at a restaurant is the most difficult crowd to serve.  This ought not to be so!  We should be the most patient, the most friendly, and the kindest people our waiter or waitress deals with all day!  Do we deserve a perfect meal served the way we ordered it and in the time we think it should be delivered?  I’m afraid not.  We deserve hell, but we get heaven!  While we’re on our way there, shouldn’t we be kind to others in our path?

Thank the waiter for the refill.  Ask sweetly for the ketchup he forgot.  Leave a generous tip (especially if you leave a tract!).

At Home:
Often it’s easier to be kind to strangers than to the people that we call family.  Are you large-hearted to your mate and your children?  Do you speak to them in a tone that denotes love, or are you curt and sharp-toned with them?  If others could watch what goes on inside our houses, would they see the love of Christ being demonstrated all day long?

At church:
Greet visitors.  Be friendly with everyone – not just your circle.

The story is told of a  second year  nursing student whose professor gave the class a quiz. This particular student breezed through the questions until she read the last one: “What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?” Surely this was a joke. She had seen the cleaning woman several times, but how would she know her name? She handed in her paper, leaving the last question blank. Before the class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our grade. “Absolutely,” the professor said. “In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say hello.”She’s never forgotten that lesson. She also learned her name was Dorothy.

Do you know the names of the new families that have joined your church recently?  Have you introduced yourself?  Hmmm, would we pass the “kindness quiz”?

Show concern for the needs of others and do acts of kindness as the Lord prompts you.  Solomon tells us in Proverbs to “do good to him to whom it is due when it is the power of thy hand to do it.”

Why is developing traits like kindness so important?  They will make up your reputation – that which others know of you.  Charles Spurgeon puts it this way:  “A good character is the best tombstone. Those who loved you and were helped by you will remember you when forget-me-nots have withered. Carve your name on hearts, not on marble.”  You can do that today simply by demonstrating kindness to others.  Long after that rain storm has passed, I still remember the kind lady at the mall.  May others remember me in such a way that it brings a smile to their face.

Is there a gesture of kindness that someone has done for you that you still remember?  I’d love to hear about it.

With love,

I had an interesting conversation recently with a young woman who works in a store I frequent. 

“My friend is having difficulty in her marriage.  I told her it was because she was always trying to do for her husband.  She has always been there for his every wish!” 

She only shook her head when I tried to explain that as a Christian wife, we are helpers to our mates, and we should enjoy doing for our husband the things he needs.

This isn’t called slavery – it’s called AVAILABILITY- It is making a conscious decision to put other’s needs first, and make my own needs secondary.

We see Isaiah the prophet beautifully portray a man who was available.  Who would go and deliver the difficult message to the people?  Because Isaiah had seen his own miserable condition and the glory of God, he could only say, “Here am I; send me.”

In our desire to develop godly character, we must prioritize, lest we feel that we have to be running from pillar to post being available to anyone at any time!

It’s crucial that we put the Lord first in all things. He must be first in time, in devotion, in service.  Once we have that settled in our hearts, there’s no question if I’ll be in church for services or if I have time in the Word each day. We won’t allow being available to others to interfere with this first priority.   If we, like Isaiah, see our condition before salvation, and the glory of our great God, it will be our greatest desire to be available to Him Who holds the first place in our heart.

Our next priority, if we’re married, is to be our husband.  Being available to him means that his needs are more important than mine.   I’m afraid my store clerk friend would gasp here, but this is what true love looks like!  Running an errand, making sure the shirt he needs is washed, fixing a food he enjoys, and even being available in the physical aspect of the marriage are all part of being available. “How can I help you today?” would be a good question to get into the habit of asking your husband.

Let me offer a caution here – It’s only after the first and second priorities are taken care of,that we’re free to be available to our adult children, our friends or other associates our lives touch. We will often have opportunities to serve others, to babysit, to fix a meal, etc. and it will bless your life and those you serve.  But take a look at the priorities first, then agree to help out.  Jesus did only those things that the Father willed.  We are wise to check with our Father too!

Prioritize and then make yourself available.  It will be a blessing – not a chore.  It will strengthen your marriage – not destroy it!

With love,

Today begins our Thursday studies of Godly character traits.  I need to grow in these areas so much and I believe if we’ll ask God to help us to apply these truths to our hearts, we can each be a woman characterized by an inner beauty that will not fade away.

We’re going to begin today with Attentiveness – Giving attention; thoughtful of others; considerate, polite, alert, watchful

I will never forget the night one of our daughters came walking into the kitchen a good while after she had gone to bed.  She walked a bit groggily as she headed toward the counter and opened a drawer.  She reached in and got a pencil out and set it on the counter.  The pencil rolled downward until it rolled off the edge and landed on the floor.  A second time she placed the pencil on the counter.  It rolled like a snowman in the making, and also hit the floor.  Then in frustration, she opened the drawer, replaced the pencil to its home, closed the drawer and headed back to bed! 

While her pencil mission was taking place, my husband and I were calling her name, but she was oblivious.  The conclusion was that she was sleep walking!  It caused us to be on alert after that; who knew when she’d have a mission to do something outside after we’d gone to sleep!  The fact was, when she went to sleep, there was no waking her! That is usually true of most children.

Let your mind go now to the story in I Samuel 3 of the little boy Samuel who was taken by his mother to serve the priest, Eli.  We read in verse 3, And ere the lamp of God went out in the temple of the LORD, where the ark of God was, and Samuel was laid down to sleep; This is a young boy.  When a little boy goes to bed, his body is tired.  He’s had a busy day!  Samuel had been serving all day in the temple and he’s snuggled in, ready to go to sleep and dream of catching frogs and fishing in a nearby stream….and perhaps also of his dear mother whom he had to be missing.  But just as he is laid down,  …the LORD called Samuel: and he answered, Here am I. The Lord called, and Samuel answered, believing that it was Eli who had called his name.  Samuel was called, and Samuel answered three times before Eli realized that it was the Lord calling out to the young child.  Now, a fourth time, And the LORD came, and stood, and called as at other times, Samuel, Samuel. Then Samuel answered, Speak; for thy servant heareth.

Why did Samuel answer?  He answered because He was attentive.  As a young servant, he was listening for the call of His master – all day long and even into the night.  Once He understood that it was the Lord calling, God gave Samuel an important message he was to relay to Eli.  Samuel needed to listen carefully to get all the details so he would faithfully deliver exactly what God had said.  Have you ever wondered why God didn’t wake Eli up and directly give Him the warning?  I wonder if it was because God knew he wouldn’t listen.  God could trust Samuel because he was attentive.  His ears were perked up, his eyes blinking in the darkness, seeking to catch a glimmer of light from the window. 

That trait followed Samuel through all his life.  He listened to the people crying out for a king and it broke his heart.  He listened as God told him who to appoint as the king.  King Saul debated his case to Samuel and he listened.  In his attentiveness he heard the bleating of the sheep.  In his observation, he knew Saul was disobedient.  He was always aware of what was going on around him!

A woman of godly character will have the trait that Samuel wore so well; that of attentiveness.  There are several areas in which we must apply this trait:

To be attentive, a godly woman must begin with an awareness of what is going on in her own spiritual heart.  She will be ready to hear from God each day, saying sincerely, “Speak, Lord, for thy servant hears.”  When we take time to not only talk to God, but also listen, we will have direction for our day and hope for the burdens on our heart!  We want God to be attentive to us, don’t we? The psalmist said, Lord, hear my voice: let thine ears be attentive to the voice of my supplications.  We can cry this out to the Lord, but then we must sit and listen to His answer.  Be still (be attentive) and know that He is God.

Ask God to make you aware of where He is working around you so you can, as Henry Blackaby teaches, join Him in His work.  Is there someone He’s put in your path that needs the Gospel?  Being attentive will show you who and when.

Be wide-eyed at the blessings that God showers along your path each day.  It’s easy to take things for granted, but an attentive person says, ” I see what you’ve done and want to say, Thank you, Lord!”  Thank you for that delicious coffee!  Thank you for my friend.  Thank you for the cool morning.  Thank you for my worn Bible.  Thank you for a car to drive.  Thank you for that little child that waved to me as he passed in the grocery store.  Be attentive of blessings!

Attentiveness will enable us to bless even strangers by the fact that we’re aware of what’s going on around us.  Little things like making sure your car is parked inside the white lines in the parking lot so that you’re not taking up more than your space, watching the lights turn green and being ready to move out of the traffic, keeping your grocery cart pulled out of the middle of the store aisle, not talking on your cell phone when doing public business are just a few small ways in which we can be aware of our surroundings and respond in a way that will help and not hinder others.

A woman who is attentive will also be aware of what is going on in the lives of people around her, rather than only being consumed with her own problems and agenda. 

Recently I was talking with a friend and she said, “I saw_______’s head hanging down in church.  Even from behind, I can see that he is really struggling with something.”  That is being attentive to other’s needs!  Just watching slumped shoulders, a wrinkled brow, and sadness behind the eyes can spur us to action.  It may prompt us to write a card and let them know of our prayers for them.  Perhaps a hand on the shoulder and a word of care spoken is what they need.  Being attentive is the only way to know how to demonstrate the love of God.  Be attentive when you ask how someone how they are doing.  Look at them.  Listen to them and care about their answer.

When we’re engaged in normal conversation with friends, are we showing them that we care about what they’re saying by being attentive?  Look them in the eye. Don’t look beyond them at what’s going on behind them. Nod.  Respond.  Listen with your heart.  Put the cell phone on silent.  Give them your undivided attention.

We must learn to be attentive to our spouse.  Do we put down what we’re doing, turn away from the television or computer and look him in the eye, and listen when they are speaking? Weak marriages can be strengthened by good communication, and it has to start with someone talking and someone listening.  Good marriages can be even better by hearing and responding to what your mate is telling you.  Do they need you to pray with them right then and there?  Does he need a warm embrace?  A loving gesture?  You won’t really know unless you’re paying close attention.  Be alert to know if he’s going through a hard time.  Think about what day and month it is.  Is there a reason to celebrate?  Is this an anniversary of his job?  Recognize it.  If he washed your car or put gas in it, be aware and tell him thank you.

What about our attentiveness to our children?  When your children are young, it can seem like they’re simply babbling and you can mutter, “Uh huh.  Is that right?” and they’re good with that.  But how often do you get down eyeball to eyeball and listen to what they’re saying?  Be attentive to their needs and hear what they’re saying behind the gibberish.

When you are disciplining your child you need to listen.  Proverbs 18:13 says, He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him. Sometimes listening to your child will reveal their heart, giving you a better understanding of how to deal with the needs and sin in their lives.

An attentive mother will know where her children are and what they’re up to. Do you always know where they are at church?  When you’re in a store?  If you’ve been accused of having eyes on the back of your head, then you’ve proven your attentiveness!  Way to go!  Sometimes the Holy Spirit will prompt a mother’s heart to go check on a child.  Being alert to His prompting will prove to be a blessing in the lives of your children, both spiritually and physically.

Teens and beyond also need a mom who is attentive to what is going on in their lives.  Going in after your teen has gone to bed and sitting down to listen to them tell about their day can open up a means to counsel them in godliness.  Your adult children will be blessed, not by a woman who is prying into their lives, but one who cares and is willing to listen and pray for their needs – if they want to share. 

Developing attentiveness will allow us to hear from the Lord in times of worship, and in our own quiet time.  It will also allow us to be a blessing to others.  While I was sitting here writing this, the mail came.  I received a card from someone who said that just by watching me,  she’d noticed I had a heavy heart!  She is a woman of attentiveness.  What a blessing her note was to me today!  I desire to learn to be that attentive so I can be a woman who is a blessing; so I can be a woman of godly character!

How has attentiveness been displayed to you?  How do you reveal this trait to others?

Lovingly,