Family life · Marriage · Refreshment in marriage · Wife's Role

Having a Royal Marriage Without the Royal Wedding That Precedes It

Royal Marriage
roy·al
ˈroi(ə)l/
adjective
  1. having the status of a king or queen or a member of their family.

I admit that I am kind of taking liberties with the word royal, but in all reality, if you and your husband are believers in Jesus Christ, you are a royal priesthood.  We learn that here –

I Peter 2:9 But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.

Because of who we are in Christ, everything about us should show to the world the praise of our God Who saved us.  In other words, our marriages should display the Gospel.  If we do that, then our relationship with one another will truly be royal.

How can we have a Royal Marriage?

  1. Think of your spouse as royalty. If we were in the presence of a king, would we forget it? Of course not!  We should remind ourselves every day that we chose to marry this man!  He is our Prince Charming!  We must remember what we loved about him in the beginning. If he doesn’t seem quite so charming today, it’s our thoughts that have changed, so we need to change them back. Instead of dwelling on the negative, we must think on the things that we love about our prince!
  2. Keep your eyes on your royal family.  When any of the British royalty are out in  public, all eyes are on them!  We must keep our eyes on only our mate, and not even consider looking at someone else.  Keep your vows you made before God.  He wants your marriage to succeed even more than you do!
  3. Treat your spouse like royalty.  Yes, treat him like a king.  Do it as a way to show your love.  Be watching and anticipating his needs so you can meet them.  Paul reminds us in Philippians 2:3,4 But in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.  We’re not going to think of ourselves first – we’ll think of our mate. Doing this is a true blessing!
  4. Speak endearingly about your spouse.  We were all talking about the the royal couple after their wedding.  What do you say to others about your spouse?   Do you praise him and share the traits that you admire most?
  5. Stay in the same country!  Royal families don’t divide – with one person ruling one country and the other spouse ruling another.  To have a royal marriage, we have to stay on the same track, rather than each spouse doing their own thing.  We must come together for time to grow, talk, share, and make memories.   Without this we will just be like roommates, rather than a Royal married couple!
  6. Talk to the King of Kings about your marriage.  Pray and ask God to give you wisdom as to how to respond to your mate.  He made that man and knows him!  Ask for understanding about how to talk to him.  Ask for God’s protection on his life, his thoughts, and his heart.
  7. Enjoy your castle!  Have fun in your home, no matter how humble it is.  Make it the best place on earth for you both to retreat to and share this life.  Draw up the bridge and let intruders “meet the dragons in the moat” from time to time so you and your spouse can spend uninterrupted time together. Every couple needs some time away – even if it’s just an afternoon or evening.

Perhaps you need to watch the video of your wedding again, if you’re blessed to have one.  If not, look at the photos and remember the day you took the royal title of “Mrs.”  It’s a high calling! Let’s show it and enjoy it!

Refresh your royal marriage!

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Freedom · God's character · Truth

Lies We Believe About God

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Isn’t it fun when we get to practice what we preach? I did that last night in regards to this very blog post. I’ve written this entire post twice (before this current attempt). Then something happened and the whole thing disappeared as quickly as a dandelion in the wind. No action would bring it back. What was I to do? I felt frustrated and irritated until I remembered the quote that has been permeating my thoughts in regards to thinking the truth about my God…

If you are irritable, frustrated or depressed,
it is likely because you are believing a lie about either yourself or God.

If I truly understand that the Lord is in control and knows my desire to publish this post about thinking truth, then I can let go of my attempts and just rest in His timing and His ways. It’s really okay. The world will not fall apart because RefreshHer didn’t get a post up at six this morning! That is the truth and it brings rest.

As I’m making my way through Nancy’s book, Lies Women Believe, Chapter two reminded me that there are many occasions that Satan whispers lies to us about God, as he did to Adam and Eve. If we’re not replacing those false statements with truth, we will be in great danger, because our belief about God is fundamental to everything in our lives!

Our belief determines our actions and our actions determine our outcome.

The book goes into several lies we are tempted to believe about God.

  1. God is not good. We might think God is good to others, but we don’t see His goodness to us because of ___________________. A cruel action by others, a crime, a disaster, or a hardship happens and some are tempted to question the goodness of God because, after all, couldn’t He have kept that from happening?
    The Truth – Of course He could have stopped it, but when Adam and Eve sinned, they plunged the world into sin and the result of that sin is everything I just listed. In His goodness, God sent His Son as the remedy! Titus 3:4,5 After that the kindness and love of God our Savior toward man appeared, Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and the renewing of the Holy Ghost. He provided an escape! He is good!
  2. God doesn’t love ME. When we sin we may feel we’ve pushed the limits of God’s love. We are tempted to judge God’s love by how we feel, but we have to tell ourselves the truth, that no matter how we feel.  God’s love is different from human love that is conditional and wavering.
    The truth – Jeremiah 31:3 – I have loved thee with an everlasting love; therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.
  3. God is just like my father. If a woman had a cruel earthly father she may feel God is in heaven waiting for the chance to knock her down. For the girl who could say what I heard a child say to me this week,I’ve never had a father love me in my whole life.This little child was only seven, but when you don’t know the love of a father, it can feel like an eternity. I had the joy of telling him that God loves him very much! I get the joy of telling you, too, my friend that God is a loving, caring Father!
    The truth – Hebrews 12:9, 10 Furthermore, we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence; shall we not much rather be in subjection Unto the Father of spirits, and live? For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness.
  4. God is not enough. We may be glad we’re on our way to heaven, but we believe the lie that we need a little bit of Jesus plus… It might be a relationship – a husband, or a child. Perhaps we think if we just had a few more cute outfits, a bigger house or more money, then we’d have all we need. One writer said,

    When you get to the place where this is nothing left but God,
    you find that He is enough
    .


    Not many of us have absolutely nothing else but God, but one day we will all be in that place. As I recently watched a dear man in our church pass from this life into heaven, I got a clear picture of what it means to get to the place where you have nothing else but God. This man had peace in death. He had the joy of knowing he would see Christ soon and he stated that he was ready. He didn’t ask about all his stuff or his money. He was simply ready to go home.
    The truth – Psalm 73:25, 26 Whom have I in heaven but Thee? And there is none upon earth that I desire beside Thee. My flesh and my heart fails, but God is the strength of my life and my portion forever.

  5. God’s laws and ways are too restrictive. When we desire to go after something that God has said NO to, we may be like that toddler who is determined to put his hands on the things his loving mommy has put out of reach, like a sharp knife. So we “grab hold of that blade” and suffer the consequences.
    Nancy brings out in her book a thought that was so interesting to me. She talked about how many women have issues with food. We don’t like telling ourselves No, and keeping a “good” thing from our lips, do we? Didn’t Eve’s sin deal with the desire for good food, too? Perhaps that’s why we, too, deal with food and eating indulgences that could be categorized as sin because we’re overeating or binging and purging, or not eating at all.
    The truth – Joshua 1:8 This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth, but thou shall meditate therein. Then shalt thou make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success. God’s laws are for our protection and ability to succeed as a child of god!
  6. God should fix my problems. We have a headache so we take Tylenol. We don’t like our boss so we quit and find another job. Our husband isn’t meeting our expectations, so we leave. We know how to fix those irritations and we think God should be ready to make everything better.
    The truth – God is more interested in my spiritual growth in the midst of that trial than about getting me out of that difficulty. So many of these truths overlap. We have to remember God’s goodness, His love and His care as a father. II Corinthians 4:17 For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh in us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.

Let me close with this quote by Ken Collier of The Wilds –

You say what you say and you do what you do because you think what you think,

And you think what you think because you believe what you believe about God and His Word.

Everthing we do will come from our acceptance of the Truth – or lies – about our God.

What truth do you need to plant deeply in your heart today?

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Uncategorized

Why You Need an Herb Garden

herbs 2a.jpg

I’ve always had at least a tiny herb garden in each home I’ve lived in.  Right now my herbs are in a small raised bed.  I love having a small herb garden in my yard for lots of reasons and they’re also why I think everyone needs a small herb garden!

Herbs are beautiful!

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Chives

From leafy and frilly to slender and colorful, they are pretty plants to have in the yard.

Herbs are useful.

I use my herbs in flower boxes and pots to add height or even draping over the box.  This Thyme was so prolific that I cut away some from the raised bed to add dimension to this pot.

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Thyme is hanging from the sides of this pot.

 

Of course I also use my herbs in cooking.  Rosemary, thyme and parsley are wonderful in a roasting hen.  Potatoes roasted in the oven are delicious with fresh rosemary. Fresh chives on a baked potato is so good! Their tastiness in food is unending!

Herbs make perfect garnishes for food. 

I use Parsley for garnish on a platter, but if I’ve used rosemary or thyme in a dish, I also use them for garnishes.

 

Herbs smell wonderful.

Brush your hand over any of the herbs and then smell your fingers.  They have a wonderful aroma!

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Parsley is at the bottom (sedum –  a succulent fills in part of my raised bed)

Herbs are easy to dry. 

I hang sprigs of my herbs in the garage to dry out.  Then, over a paper towel, I remove the leaves and put them in glass jars.  These are so much more flavorful than the herbs you purchase in the store!

herbs 4

You can add them to fresh flower arrangements.

Bring them inside and add to any  vase of flowers and it will add beauty and the fragrance!

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Oregano – This plant is HUGE!!

Herbs are easy to grow!

If you have a hard time with other types of gardens, I’d encourage you to try growing herbs.  Buy little plants from a nursery and get them in the ground now.  By now you can see that they’ll serve you well!

Refresh your yard with herbs!

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death

A Front Row Seat

The sun shone down and warmed our faces and backs and we spoke in whispers, as folks often due at cemeteries.  A group of men assigned to the task of pallbearers gathered together and made their way to the approaching hearse to attend to their responsibility. The blue casket was pulled from the vehicle and steadily carried to the tent where the group of talkers were now seated or standing under the tent for this last part of the funeral. The service had been the night before at the church.  Today it was time for the committal.

I was honored to be seated with the family, though I didn’t really belong there. I was no Continue reading “A Front Row Seat”

freezer · Meal planning · organization · refrigerator contents

What’s In My Fridge?

fridge 3

After returning home from vacation, I went to the grocery store for a few things like fresh veggies and fruits, milk and eggs.  Other than that, my freezer and pantry had what I needed to get through a week of meals.  Bulk shopping when things go on sale keeps me from having to buy a long list of items every single week.  I love that!

I thought I would give you a peek inside my refrigerator and small freezer so you can see the standard things that are in there and how I organize it all.   Continue reading “What’s In My Fridge?”

Brunch · main dish · memories · Mother's Day · Tablescapes

Friday Favorites – Vacation Pics

Isn’t it amazing how fast vacation time flies by? I had an app on my phone that told me how many more days ’til vacation.  Then, woosh!  It’s done!   It’s also easy to forget everything that happened.  It’s for that reason that I try to journal each day I’m away.  I try to log what we did and what the highlights of the day were. I write down any fun places we discovered, any new restaurants we enjoyed and also special things that we shared as a couple in our day together. Then when I get home I can read back over my writings and can relive our time away!

Here’s a picture journal for you of a few highlights and favorite photos from our time away. Continue reading “Friday Favorites – Vacation Pics”

Freedom · Living in Bondage · Truth · worry

Getting Free From the Bondage of Lies

Bird cage a

For Mother’s Day this year my sweet husband bought me a floor lamp that caught my eye when we were visiting a Cracker Barrel on vacation.  It looks like a bird cage, and has the vintage vibe that I love.  What I didn’t know was that it was also going to be a useful tool to remind me of a truth I learned in Bible Study!

After having studied my lesson from Lies Women Believe, I looked at that bird cage in a different light (no pun intended!).  It brought back a reminder of a truth learned in Chapter one of the book.

Believing a lie that Satan puts in my mind is just like being bound up in a cage. Every lie is another rib, keeping me from being free and enjoying the life Christ died to give to me.  Just as Eve acted on the lie in the Garden of Eden and ate the fruit because she believed it would make her wise and like God, if I act on lies I believe, I too, will be held in bondage.

Christ said in John 8:32

Ye shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free.

So how can we be free from the bondage of lies?

  1. Identify any areas in which we are living in bondage.  Some examples…
    1. Areas of emotional distress – Depression, anxiety, fear, or worry
    2. Bondage to physical sin – over-eating, not eating, over-exercising,
    3. Financial bondage
    4. Sexual sin
  2. Identify any lies you may be believing that are at the root of the bondage – Some examples might be…
    1. I’m too sinful for God to really love me.
    2. I’ll never be good enough for _____________.
    3. I’m too (fat, short, skinny, ugly, uneducated…) to be of any use to anyone.
    4. I could never do that thing that God wants me to do.
    5. My marriage will never get better.
    6. My family member will never be saved.
    7. I have the right to be happy and do what I want to do.
      The list could go on and on.  But you need to ask yourself,

      What keeps plaguing me?
      What do I keep wrestling with that crops up again and again?

  3. Replace the lies with the truth.  Find Scripture that refutes the lie.

He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust:
his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.

We all have a choice either to be free, due to the Truth of God’s Word, or to be held in bondage by believing and acting on Satan’s lies.

What lies are living in your heart?  What truth needs to counteract it?  

I would encourage you to memorize Philippians 4:8 if you don’t have it committed to memory yet!

Refresh yourself with Truth!

Denise