Mature Love

• Young love
• Mature love
• Everlasting love

I couldn’t agree more. When my relationship with my husband was new, it was all squishy, full of sighs and emotions. As the years have passed that love has become steady and strong. No longer is it the uphill climb and full of wondering that a new relationship holds. It’s solid. It’s sure. It’s based on God’s everlasting love. Don’t get me wrong – my hubby can make my heart flip in a minute with one of his looks. Emotions are still involved – they’re just not up and down!

I love that now as an “old married couple” we can finish one another’s sentences, or tell what the other is thinking by the look on their face. I love that we can enjoy doing simple things together. On Saturday we enjoyed a cup of coffee and a muffin while listening to some of our favorite songs. That was as much fun (maybe more) than going out. There’s something really special about mature love that we didn’t know existed in our early days, and we realize that if the Lord allows, we will come to understand that in a greater way in the years ahead. When difficulties arise (and they come for every couple), it is so worth it to hang in there, running to the Lord for His help to work through it, rather than bailing out.

Ministry couples don’t have an automatic guarantee on their marriage. We have to work at it just as hard as any other couple. The busyness of ministry can crowd out a close relationship. Children are always a demand on a marriage. Life pushes its way into our schedule and our sinful flesh rises up against us. There has to be a cry to the Lord each day to stay true and faithful, making the relationship strong enough to last the long haul.

It’s also very obvious to me that marriage has to be worked on all through the years. It doesn’t just become set for life after ten years or so. Changes that come cause the need for adjustments to be made. The empty nest adds a new dimension, and adjustment is necessary in order to sail through this phase more in love. I’ve watched couples and I’ve seen that just the natural aging process can put a strain on a marriage. The inability to hear creates a frustration. The fact that after retirement the husband is now home in the middle of what his wife has been doing alone all those years can add some tension. Failing health and the presence of medical bills can add financial strain after living comfortably on their retirement.

What’s the answer? I believe it’s thinking biblically – Philippians 4:8 thinking. “Finally brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely; if there be any virtue, if there be any praise, think on these things.” It’s so easy to think on things that don’t fit into this category, get ourselves worked up over it, then respond with the wrong attitude. “He always…” Always? Really? “I wish my husband was like her husband!” We don’t have a clue what people are like in their private lives, and is it pure thinking to wish our husband was like someone else? We have to line up our thinking with the Truth. I haven’t always done that, and have gotten myself in a tizzy in the process! How much sweeter it is to look at our marriage through the lens of Philippians 4:8!

Twenty-eight years really isn’t that long a time to be married – we’re just getting started. I pray the years ahead will be filled with simple things, mature love, and right thinking ’til death parts us on this world.