The New Dating Era

I’m seeing a trend that is spreading over the young people in our country. Over the last several years I’ve watched the dating scenario change in a huge way. I’m sure there are many reasons for the change, but it concerns me. Let me explain.

Years ago young couples met, got interested in one another, went out on a date, which led to another date and another. Soon their engagement was announced, and perhaps within the span of a year or a little more they were married. Often they were either just out of high school or college. Were times hard? You better believe it. Did they have lots of money saved, a great career under their belt and a house to move into? Hardly! But they worked through those issues together by praying to the God that brought them into this bond of marriage. The result was a deepened faith in God’s provision for them and a strengthening of their relationship.

I read an article yesterday that said, “Many young adults today view their 20s as a time for fun, travel, career-building or finding themselves — not for settling down.” The article said that the median age for men to marry is 28 and in girls it’s 26. This is the change I’m referring to. I think it also falls into the very selfish mindset of our society. A willingness to give up their lifestyle for someone else would require sacrifice; something that many aren’t willing to do.

I’m certainly not suggesting that a couple rush into marriage, but if a couple believes that God has brought them together, they’ve had sufficient time to get to know one another, then why put marriage off? With the proper pre–marital counseling they will have the tools they need to trust the Lord for their finances and their futures.

I also feel for many godly young ladies who would love to date someone and eventually marry, but the young men have the “This is my time” mindset and put off dating, much less getting serious. Marriage is a wonderful blessing. While it isn’t God’s will for all to marry, the majority will. Why put it off? Perhaps young people have seen divorce in their homes and are afraid. Again, though, trusting the Lord who brings a couple together is what brings a couple through many hardships, be it relational or financial.

One of mine and my husband’s favorite memories of our early years is one that found us with a mere 56 cents in our checking account! Our first daughter was about 9 months old and we had no groceries, and obviously no money to go purchase any. We determined to tell no one but the Lord. We prayed. He prayed. I prayed. I specifically asked the Lord to provide the infant cereal that the pediatrician put our infant daughter on – Gerber oatmeal. I believe it was the very next evening after being gone from home, we pulled into our car port to find three sacks of groceries stacked their by an anonymous giver. One item in the sack was the box of Gerber cereal! Many times after that when there was a need, all we had to do was recall God’s faithfulness in providing for our needs at that time to reinforce our faith that He would do it again!

My encouragement to young women is to ask the Lord to do the bringing together of you and your future husband. He did it for Eve. He did it for Rebekah. I can testify that He did it for me, and He can do it for you. Date the guy. Get to know him well, then if you both believe this is God’s will trust Him for your marriage. I’m not suggesting you marry in high school, or too quickly, but I am encouraging couples to move on! Listen to God’s leading, to the counsel of your parents and pastor. Then “what God has brought together let no man put asunder!”