Your Marriage Needs Time Away

We tend to think that getting away together as a couple is that “little extra” thing we do just for fun. It certainly does include fun times, but I’m here to argue that I believe that in order for a marriage to be growing and healthy, time away is essential.

Even though my husband and I are empty nesters, our lives stay very busy with ministry, family, entertaining, and work at home. We can be doing life in the same house and not really spend quality time together. Getting away periodically allows us time to talk and not get interrupted. Yes, we have our phones with us, but I choose to put mine on Personal focus so I’m not distracted by notifications.

Like a sleeping cat, time away allows you to ignore the things that might distract you. Housework, children, pets, unfinished jobs, etc. can all interrupt when you are at home. Getting away somewhere allows you time together. My preference is to have two nights away. One just isn’t long enough to really connect like you need. Here are few suggestions I’d give for someone who is planning time away as a couple:

• Make a plan for a future get-away. This way you can accomplish two things:
  ~you can look forward and anticipate it, and
  ~you can also plan better.
• Plan some discussions. Think about things you need to talk about when you’re together. Make a list on your phone so you won’t forget.
  ~Do you need to plan for things coming up in the future?
  ~Is there a question you’ve had about your finances? Do you need to talk about retirement or concerns with your children?
  ~Is there an issue in your relationship that you would love to see improved?
• Remove distractions. Nothing says, “I want to spend time with just you” like turning everyone and everything else aside for a period of time. Try to agree on setting your phones aside or at least on silent so you can be together without any beeps or buzzes.
• Spend time together in God’s Word and prayer. If need be, ask your husband if he would lead you in this. If this isn’t a normal practice, pray the Lord will make him willing. Be gentle and patient.
• Focus on being loving. I’m speaking to us as the wife. If we would focus more on our own responsibility of being the loving wife (Prov. 4:19), we might be surprised at the change that can make in our marriage. It’s easy to focus on what we want our husband to be to us, isn’t it? We need to do our part and let the Lord change him, if necessary.
  Be thankful! Tell your husband how grateful you are for time alone with him! Use loving words, loving touch and loving gestures.
• Focus on just the two of you. Recently when my husband and I went away, we could choose to have breakfast with other guests, or have a table for just the two of us. It spoke volumes to me when my husband asked for a table for two each morning! There are lots of other times to focus on all the people we encounter, but it’s a blessing to sometimes have a “table for two.”

After our recent get-away, we came home refreshed, rested, and drawn closer to one another. After 42 years of marriage, we still need these times – perhaps even more so!

I hope this encourages you to refresh your marriage in the near future with a get-away for you and your spouse. Even if things are “going well,” you may be surprised at how much it will do for your relationship! You’ll also be making some great memories and letting each other know that this relationship is important enough to prioritize.

Marriage is a precious gift from God; let’s enjoy it to the max!