It was to be expected because I have daughters – boys are in my house! Thus, boys will occupy their lives and our home. This weekend our younger daughter turns 18, so her “friend” is here to help celebrate. His brother is also here, occupied with Allison’s friend (convenient!). Our older daughter will be coming for the Bristol race this weekend and is bringing her boyfriend along. While I’m keeping an eye on every room, I also feel like everywhere I turn I’m intruding! It’s okay – I was there myself one day, and it’s only to be expected. How thankful I am that they’re all here in our home, enjoying the deck swing, and the living room spaces.
I’ve had some interesting conversations recently with young women who are dating. Here are some questions they’ve asked:
“Do all the things that are fun at first get old and boring after a while?”
They do only if you let them. A couple has to work on their marriage every day – you can’t put it on auto-pilot. Keep your minds thinking about ways you can demonstrate your love for one another. Continue to date. Communicate. Have fun, just like in the early days of your relationship.
“Do you get tired of keeping a house?”
No. I know the Lord gave me the desire of my heart in letting me stay at home as a housewife. This is where I find my greatest fulfillment. I love to make our home a special place for my husband and family. Keeping it clean and decorated is one way I can demonstrate my love for my husband.
“Do you just get used to each other after a while?”
For women it’s crucial to think right. If I focus on the negative things about my husband, then that’s how I’ll respond – negatively. If I focus on the things that drew me to him in the first place, and the positive things, my love is pure and right instead of selfish and focused on my needs, likes and dislikes. I need to keep admiring him for the new things I see in him so it continues to get better than it ever was!
Young women are watching the married couples and wondering if marriage is all they’ve dreamed of. What is your marriage showing the world? As we get older, our love should mature. It’s easy for it to go just the opposite way when we get upset over petty issues and treat each other like school children would, instead of adults.
This week I overheard my husband having a conversation on the phone. He was encouraging a friend that was down. There was a lilt in his voice. He was upbeat and happy. I recalled that just hours before he’d been discouraged and down. I knew what had brought the change – me. I don’t say that in an egotistical way, I’m certainly a nobody to anyone else, but to my husband I am important. My encouragement in his life is HUGE to him! I had expressed my support of him, my love for him, and my knowledge of how God was using him. Like a helium balloon getting a refill of air, I could see him standing tall again. Now he was passing his encouragement on to the caller on the phone.
I don’t think wives realize the sway we have on our husbands. We should never use that in a wrong way, but understand the gravity of how much our support means to our husband. If we believe in him and what God has called him to do, he can move mountains! He’s ready to take on any hard task…if only his wife backs him up. We can do that with our words, by telling him and by bragging on him to others (within his ear shot). We can do that with our body language – a nod, wink, or a squeeze.
Make your marriage a testimony – not only to your children who are watching and wondering if marriage is worth it, but also to a lost world. May they see in us something different; something to which you would give your whole life.
Excuse me now, I need to do another room check! Boys are in my house!