I wake up feeling good. No headaches lurking, no knee pain or other twangs here or there that are common to a woman reaching her mid-50’s. It’s a beautiful day – even unseasonably cool for late June. I have plans to walk with my husband before anything else today – partly because we just want to take advantage of the temperature, and partly to get out there before our road gets too busy.
Shoes are laced and we head out the door and I have this uneasiness about me. I can’t put my finger on it. We walk silently and then my husband looks at me and asks if I’m okay. If I’m quiet, he gets suspicious (kind of sad, really!). In answer to his question, I answer, “I’m good.” He senses my uneasiness, I realize. We have a great walk – well, he jogs most of the way while I walk briskly and review my memory verses.
When we arrive home, the coffee is waiting for us, steamy and strong. I pour a cup and head back to my quiet place. Caffeine in one hand, Bible in my lap, I begin to read my daily reading. Today I’m in Leviticus 11. I’m pitying the poor folk that were under all these laws, and then I come to verses 44 and 45.
For I am the Lord your God: ye shall therefore sanctify yourselves, and ye shall be holy; for I am holy: neither shall ye defile yourselves with any manner of creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. For I am the Lord that bringeth you up out of the land of Egypt, to be your God: ye shall therefore be holy, for I am holy.
It was at that moment that the Holy Spirit put His finger on my “uneasiness” I had felt earlier. The truer name for it is my Old Sin Nature. That nature was tired and grumpy. No, it was sinful! Any time I am not acting, responding, or speaking in a holy manner (without sin), I am letting my old sin nature take over. I am anything but holy!
It’s easy to get into a routine of being saved; doing all the things Christians do, and forget about living a holy life. We can be good enough, but we’re not holy. We can do nice things, but we’re not holy. We can avoid saying sinful words, but we’re not holy.
I find my self now asking questions like, “Is this a holy response? Was that a holy answer? Is my motive holy?” We must think of Christ when we say “holy.” “Am I imitating Him in each of these areas?” If not, then I am not holy.
One Day we will no longer fight our sinful flesh (hallelujah!), but until then, it would do us all well to ask the Spirit of God to make a careful inspection and reveal to us whether we’re being holy, or allowing our sin nature to preside instead! It is a battle we can win, with God’s help!