Feeling Like “The Worst Mom Ever?”

Mommy life.  What a blessing!  To be entrusted with a little life (or two or three) is a wonderful privilege that most girls dream of all their childhood.  But it’s tough some moments.  Some days.  Some weeks.  It’s easy to live under the feeling of not being good enough.

When your three year-old smears lipstick all over your mom’s new carpet, or your son throws a fit at the Dollar Store because you wouldn’t buy him the treasure he found, it’s easy to wonder if you’re the worst mom ever.

When your teenager rolls her eyes again when you tell her to go change her outfit, or when your home-schooled child refuses to even pick up their pencil, you’re sure that you are deserving of the World’s Worst Mom award.

 When supper is late and the dryer hits tumble for the 20th time because you can’t find ten minutes to go fold the clean clothes, you sigh and your shoulders droop a little lower.

But do all those scenarios make you a bad mom?  If that was true, we’d all have that trophy sitting on our mantle!   How about if we consider what God requires of us.  Let’s look at what Scripture says about parenting:

Chasten thy son while there is hope, 

and let not thy soul spare for his crying. Proverbs 19:18

Withhold not correction from the child:  Proverbs 23:13a

Train up a child in the way he should go: Proverbs 22:6a

And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. Deuteronomy 6:7

These are a few of the commands parents are to obey.  As with any command from God, when we obey, we are pleasing Him. When we disobey, we’re displeasing Him, or sinning. He is the perfect Father – there are no other perfect parents.  It’s not fair to even expect perfection from ourselves.  Why do we even set ourselves up for that?  Instead, to keep from being The World’s Worst Mom, we must seek to be obedient to the Word of God.
How does that look?

• When your three year-old smears lipstick all over your mom’s new carpet, you take the lipstick.  You take him to your mom and ask him to say, “I’m sorry.”  You make him sit near you instead of running around the house unsupervised.  You correct.
• When your son throws a fit at the Dollar Store because you wouldn’t buy him the treasure he found, you take him out to the car and remind him of the chat you had at home about not asking for a toy today (A little pre-talk before going anywhere is wise!).  You then administer proper punishment in the proper place on your son.  Pray.  Hug.  Return to Dollar Store. You chasten.
• When your teenager rolls her eyes again when you tell her to go change her outfit, you ask her to return to you and you both open God’s Word to be reminded of God’s standard for our dress, and also of His command for her to respect and obey you. You train.
• When your home-schooled child refuses to even pick up their pencil, you ask again.  If they refuse to obey, you ask them to meet you in their bedroom where you open God’s Word and remind them that they are commanded to obey their parents.  You read to them the verse that says that in all labour there is profit.  You then discipline them calmly and lovingly (maybe this means you go take a 5 minute cooling down). Talk about what he’ll do when he returns to class. You pray.  He prays.  You hug.  You train.  You chasten.  You talk.
• When supper is late, you pull out a meal you froze last week and slide it into the oven.  While it’s baking you put out salads for everyone to eat, turn on some good music and chat with them about their day at work and school. You talk.
• When the dryer hits tumble for the 20th time, you gather your little ones and give each of the children 3 years old and older a little pile to “fold.”  You sing “This is the way we fold the clothes…” and then have each child take their pile to the place they belong. You train.

As as you obey what you are commanded as a mom to do in Scripture, you can leave the results to God.  Refuse to look the other way or make excuses for bad behavior or unfinished chores.  

Chasten.  Correct.  Train.  Talk.  Repeat.  All. day. long.  For all of their lives.  This is what makes a successful Mom.

What defeats you most in your role of motherhood?

For a deeper dive into this subject, listen to the podcast on Refresh Her.

I’m adding a little p.s. onto this post. If you know someone who longs to be a mother but isn’t, see if you can find a way to encourage them this weekend. I wrote about it here.