I have a new office for a couple of days.  I’m in Atlanta kind of “chilling” while my  husband attends board meetings for the Fundamental Baptist Fellowship.  I attended the first part of their business meeting last night, then was graciously excused by my husband.  No offense, but while I’m all for contending for the faith, their gatherings could use some excitement…you know, like fancy edged scissors, glitter and scrap booking paper.  How pretty the men’s folders containing their minutes and agenda would be if the wives could get their crafty hands on them for an hour or two!  I doubt that’s going to happen.  Anyway, while he was in there having the next session and discussing tons of words that end in “i-s-m,” I found my way back to our room to blog,  rest, and get refreshed. Ahhh….

I am so grateful to be able to attend these meetings with him, now that we have an empty nest.  While I was homeschooling, I stayed home during these times to “hold the fort down” and, of course, keep school going.   Even though I have very little to contribute to his time here, it’s just a blessing that we can be together on the drive down, during meals and at night.  We missed Valentine’s Day because of this scheduled event, but that’s really okay.  As I stated in my Facebook status last night, though this was an unusual Valentine’s Day for us, this is the essence of what love is all about – just being together and enjoying the the mere presence of one another. If that sounds corny or boring, you don’t know Dale Cunningham!  It’s true.  We love each other and we love being together. 

You know what’s really funny to me?  People often tease us saying, “I wish you guys acted like you love each other!”  The thing that prompts those remarks is that we sit close.  We hold hands.  He puts his arm around me.  We talk.  We whisper and laugh. We have tons of fun just being us. I don’t believe we ever act in a way that’s inappropriate, but I guess it’s just different from many couples that are married for 30 years.  Boy, I feel sorry for others that think we’re strange.  We just like being together.  That’s why we got married!  =)  Yep.  We have tons of fun as a couple.  And that’s what it’s like inside our parsonage. Fun. 

Do you need to bump up the “fun” level in your marriage?  Don’t wait until next Valentine’s Day!  Look for a fun element to add to your lives – even if it’s just sitting close.  Life is too short not to enjoy the blessings God gives, and that includes marriage. 

With a thankful heart,

A new year is like a new journal; it’s all clean and fresh with no ragged edges on the cover.  Its binding is all in tact and there are no ugly ink smudges on the pages. A new year brings with it lots of promise.  As you consider the year ahead of you, why not stop and also consider the life of your husband as well?  I don’t mean we should track out his life for 2012, but that as we make plans for ourselves, we need to also consider our marriage.  Sit down together and discuss:

• What areas need to be strengthened?
• How did you fail to respect him last year?  How can you change that?
• What kinds of dates could you plan now that will ensure that you have quality time together?  Mark down dates you want to celebrate, then also find time each month to mark out for one another.  If you don’t guard those times, they will get covered over with the “stuff of life.”  Here’s a suggestion to take your dates one step deeper – Get a journal and make it your Date Journal. Use it to record the things dates you and your husband have this year. Keep it a secret and give it to him as a Christmas present next December. It will bring back special memories of your times together.
• Talk about financial plans for the year – things you need to save for, giving towards Faith Promise Missions, and things you’re dreaming about – like a vacation, or the purchase of a home,
• How could your marriage reach out to the lost?  Discuss way that you could to minister to others as a couple in this next year.
• Is there a book you could begin reading together that would be a challenge to you both as you walk with the Lord? 

Each day we are filling in the pages of our life’s journal.  Rather than letting it get marred up with blunders and regrets, make plans to fill it up with marital blessings.  As they say, – “Time’s a wastin’!”  Make your plans now for a year that will find you and your husband walking closer to one another and the Lord.

With love,

Every year when we put our Christmas tree up in the parsonage, my husband and I, together, hang the ornament that says, Our First Christmas, then we exchange a kiss.  It’s a tradition that we’ve held all these 30 Christmases. 

This side of the ornament reads – “Christmas is the season for sharing the spirit of Love”

  However, last year Our ornament had a little fall onto the hardwood floor and broke.  ~Sadness~  We were able to glue it at the bottom (notice the crack in the bottom of the ornament in the  picture  above).  From that side it doesn’t look too bad – just a little flaw.  But…

the other side had major damage that wouldn’t hold together with glue.  Its ugly fix is a piece of scotch tape that’s bridging the huge gap with the jagged edges.  There was NO WAY I was going to throw that piece of sentimentality in the trash!  We’d shared too many memories with that piece of glass!  The simple answer is to turn the taped side to the back of the tree!  Who will know?  (Only my sweet blog readers!)

I think our ornament is a pretty good representation of all marriages.  At times it looks great to all that behold it.  Oh, there may be a little crack somewhere, but that’s to be expected.  After all – each spouse comes into that relationship with all kinds of extra baggage and it takes time and true love to work through those things.  But if you flipped that marriage over and gave it a closer inspection, you may see a huge hole due to some very hard crisis that has hit their home.  They could throw the whole thing in the trash and get a divorce, but they know that the Lord has put them together.  So now, with the “tape” of God’s Word, His love forgiveness, and maybe also His servant that gave some godly counseling, they’ve stuck together.  There are scars, but those will be overlooked in time, both by one another and those that watched while they suffered through the hardship.

Every marriage has cracks, and though yours may seem to be bigger than another couples’, stay in it for the long haul.  With the Lord’s help get the “tape” necessary to keep your relationship secure.  Our marriage is no different than yours, it has cracks from falls over the years, but what a blessing that we can still “hang” together!

From inside the parsonage windows,

I’m going to share a story with you today – it’s one of my favorites, because it’s about how my husband and I met and fell in love.  I’ve tried to look back to see if I’ve posted this before, and I couldn’t find it in the search engine. (After writing almost 800  posts, it’s hard to remember everything I’ve written about!) If I’ve already told you “my story” please pardon me, and then allow me to tell you again.  Sit back, friends; this is my version of Cinderella, sans the glass slipper.

It was 1979 and I had a scheduled interview for a secretarial position, as well as kindergarten teacher position at a Christian school in Sumter, SC.  I was seeking God’s will for my life, and this was the open door that I’d asked for.  I met in a conference room for the interview at the Christian university I attended with a Pastor Cunningham.  While we were discussing the ministry and the possibility of my working at his church and Christian school, his son, Dale, came up to speak with him.  We were introduced.  No fireworks, no stars in our eyes…you see he was dating someone and so was I. 

I got that job and was enjoying teaching the 5 year-olds.  The next year I was asked to teach first grade. The middle of that school year Christmas break was over and I started back into second semester.   I was busy with my life, and career, but not so happy with my dating situation.  After praying about it, I felt the Lord would have me end the relationship.  I did.  Relief came and I was anxious to move on.  The next day at school, while my children were lined up in the hall for restroom break, Dale walked in.  He still had a few more days of Christmas break before he would head back to the university to finish his junior year. We had built a friendship over the time I’d known him, but nothing more.  As we chatted there in the school hall, he shared with me that he’d called and broken up with his girlfriend the night before!  I shared with him that I’d done the same thing!  We laughed about it, then he candidly asked,

“Hey, would you like to go bowling tonight, just to have some fun?”
“Sure!” I agreed.

We did just that.  We were just friends going out to have a good time and forget the past.  He was so much fun to be with.  He treated me with respect and gentlemanly courtesy.  I was blown away with the thoughts I was having as I returned home from our date.  I wrote these words in my journal that night…”I’m not in love or anything, but I believe I just went out with the guy I’m going to marry!”

The next day was a Friday, so I had to teach.  That afternoon after I dismissed my children, I returned to my classroom only to find Dale sitting on the corner of my desk waiting for me.  Be still my heart!  What a lovely surprise. 

“Last night was so much fun.  Want to go out again?” he asked.

Of course I said “yes!”.  Again, we had a great time, just being ourselves and enjoying the freedom that brings.

The next day being Saturday, presented Dale with a dilemma about how he could see me.  I wasn’t in my classroom – I was in at my home where I lived with my roommate, Debby.  Should he be so bold as to come knock at the door? What if he wasn’t invited in?  However, it was his only option, so that’s exactly what he did.  I opened the door and said, “You’re just the man we were looking for!  Our vacuum won’t work!”  He suddenly became Mr. Hoover himself.  (Many months later he told me all it needed was a new belt, but it took him a really long time to simply replace that small part!).  Pretty sneaky!

After that weekend, Dale went back to school and we wrote letters, called, and made trips back and forth.  Our relationship survived one breakup – but because it was the Lord that had started it,  He saw to it that the wanderer returned!  =) We were married in 1981, following a year-long engagement.

God is so good.  He is faithful.  He knows what He is doing.  He knew that my interview would lead me to the one I was to marry.  He guided my footsteps until they crossed the paths of my future husband. I have told “my story” to my girls many times as they were growing up.  I wanted them to know that if they would “give the Lord half a chance” He would bring the right man into their lives. 

A single girl doesn’t need to finagle to get a guy.  She doesn’t have to throw herself in his path.  God will do the work.  All a girl needs to do is be a woman of honor and wait.  I’m happy to say that our oldest daughter has confirmed that God has brought “Prince Charming” to her.  They will celebrate their first anniversary next month! And after 30 years, I can say more than ever, I am blessed beyond measure with a husband that I could never have found.  He was God’s gift to me.  It hasn’t all been a storybook life, because we are both sinners, but I know this – Prince Charming has nothing on Dale Cunningham!

I know that there are many hurting marriages – Christian and non-Christian alike.  God is bigger than your troubles, and He is able to make your marriage wonderful.  Could I encourage you to listen to the series that is being played on Revive Our Hearts this week?  It’s the story of a couple whose marriage was beyond help, humanly speaking, but is wonderful today.  I pray their story will encourage you!

From inside my parsonage windows,

I have a husband that loves cars.  He doesn’t spend money on them, but he’s always looking at them on the road.  He listens to the quiet hum of their motors.  He admires the sleekness of the body and the speed as one passes our family car.  As much as I know my husband would love it if I bought him a Mustang, I gave him something this weekend I know he loved even more.  All it cost me was my pride.

We  had the privilege of going to a couples’ retreat last Friday through Sunday.  We heard good preaching about forgiveness.  When I first heard the topic of the messages, I had a thought of relief, you know, like – “Oh good.  This isn’t going to be an issue for us.  We’re up to date with all offences.”  Do you know that feeling of relief that I’m referring to?  It kind of takes you off the hook.  At least I thought I was.

We were given time to be alone with one another and the Lord after the preaching session, so that issues could be handled.  When my sweet mate lovingly told me that in a certain scenario, in my desire to help him, he feels I’m mothering him, my heart wanted to argue his honesty.  “I’m only looking out for you.  I want to help you.” was my reply.   It stung.  I didn’t like it, but it was the truth.  I was doing to him what a mother would do to her child.  That is not my role.  I am his wife – not his mother.

I have to admit that it took the next session at the conference for the Lord to speak to me and tell me what to do to get it right.  Immediately after the session, I asked if we could go outside and talk.  When we stopped, I looked at my husband and said,
 “I need to tell you that I won’t mother you in this any more. I’m truly sorry. If you need my help, will you just let me know?” 
I’m not sure I’ve ever seen such tenderness in my husband’s eyes. My simple response to his honesty touched his heart so deeply.

 “Yes, I will” he replied. “Thank you.  You don’t know how much I love you.” 

Oh yes, I do, and I know I am blessed.

 I was reminded of two truths from this:

1. All a husband really wants is the respect of his wife. 
2. Her respect will do more for him than anything else in this world.

The good news is, I was going to buy him a Mustang, and now I know I don’t need to!  Just kidding!  I am  pretty sure, however, that he would tell me my respect is what he’d rather have any ol’ day! 

Have you given your husband the gift of your respect?  It’s all he really wants.

With love,