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A Peek Inside the Parsonage

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Anyone that knows my parents has probably been at least a little envious of their sweet, romantic marriage. I lived with them for 17 years before I left for college, and I know they ain’t perfect! So how do they do it? I have been married for only 13 months, so I’m not in a place to offer any marriage advice. I’m taking all I can get! So, let’s all peek inside the parsonage and learn from my parents.

Here are just three of the principles I learned from watching my parents’ marriage in action.

This is what happens when the parents are on another continent…old pictures emerge! Haha!
1. Godly marriages take work
Every time mom and dad left the house to go on a date, they would say “we’re going on a date to make a better home for you!” Even when times were very tough financially, they would run errands together or have supper at a little table in their bedroom with doors closed and candles lit.
My parents read books on marriage and attended couples retreats (gasp! they left their children overnight! see point #2). Mom has always been a student of the Bible, and I remember seeing “reminder” verses from Proverbs written on her daily planner to help her with areas she was working on.
What can you do this week to work on your marriage? 
2. Kids are important, but they don’t take precedence over your marriage
We never slept in the bed with mom and dad. If a storm or bad dream woke us up, we were comforted and reassured…and dumped back in our cold sheets! =) Now that I’m married, I realize the wisdom of that move.
If I asked my dad permission for something like having a friend spend the night, his first words were always, “did you ask your mom?” and vice versa. I knew there was no way I could manipulate them by getting one person “on my side.”
Have you let your kids “crawl in bed” between you and your spouse (so to speak)? Dump them back on their cold sheets. They’ll thank you for it some day.
Lest you think we were neglected, here’s proof that mom and dad spent time with us.
Great NASCAR memories with my dad! I love this picture so much!
3. Godly marriages require respect
Never one time have I heard my parents make a disparaging comment to someone else about the other. My mom never complained to me about my dad – I knew my parents thought the world of each other. I will add that my in-laws are exactly like this as well. I cringe every time I hear a pastor say something ugly or joke about his wife from the pulpit, I never heard that from my dad growing up.
Do you need to ask the Lord to keep a watch over your mouth? If you really struggle with the respect issue, I highly recommend the book Love and Respect. 
I am so thankful for the people that taught me a great, godly, fun marriage was possible! I have to also thank my Nana and Papa who are madly in love with each other. They are the kind of sweet companions I pray we will be! Additionally, I am grateful for my in-laws who modeled this kind of marriage to my husband. He is definitely a product of a godly marriage, and I am so thankful!  
Whitney for…
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What’s Cookin’ in the Parsonage?

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Here’s what was cooking in the Pendell kitchen this week! This was a big hit with the husband, which always makes my day. I served it with a tossed salad and Parmesan toast (buttered bread with Parmesan cheese, toasted under the broiler). Big thanks to my friend Catherine for sharing this recipe with me!


Five-Cheese Baked Ziti 

(This can be doubled to make a 9×13 pan – I used a casserole dish slightly larger than an 8×8 square)

FOR THE ZITI SAUCE
2 cups tomato sauce
1 cups alfredo sauce
1/4 cup ricotta cheese
1/8 cup mozzarella cheese , shredded
1 ½  tablespoons Fontina cheese , shredded*
½  teaspoon garlic pepper seasoning
¼  teaspoon garlic powder
FOR THE ZITI TOPPING
1 ½ cups mozzarella cheese , shredded
¼ cup Italian breadcrumbs
1 ½ tablespoons romano cheese , grated
½  tablespoon fresh garlic , chopped
1 ½  tablespoons vegetable oil
1 ½ tablespoons fresh flat-leaf Italian parsley, chopped

*I used Sargento Italian blend cheese  where it called for Fontina and Romano cheese  



REMAINING INGREDIENTS
½  lb dry ziti pasta
½ cup mozzarella cheese , shredded
Directions:
PREPARE THE ZITI SAUCE:
1.       Combining all ingredients for the Ziti Sauce in a large bowl; cover and refrigerate until ready to use.
PREPARE THE ZITI TOPPING:
2.       In a medium-size bowl, whisk together the first four ingredients for the Ziti Topping.
3.       Add the garlic, oil, and parsley and mix until thoroughly blended. Cover and refrigerate until ready to use.

WHEN READY TO PREPARE THE WHOLE DISH:
4.       Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Spray an 8×8 baking dish or large casserole with non-stick spray.
5.       Prepare the pasta according to package directions.
6.       Pour 1/4 cup of prepared ziti sauce into the prepared dish, and spread it evenly over the bottom using a spoon.
7.       When pasta has finished cooking, drain the water and pour the hot pasta into the bowl of remaining sauce. Mix thoroughly; pour into the baking dish.
8.       Spread 1/2 cup of shredded mozzarella over the pasta and sauce mixture.
9.       Top the mozzarella with the prepared Ziti Topping, spreading evenly.
10.   Place pan on center oven rack and bake until top is golden brown and cheese is bubbling, about 20 to 30 minutes. Remove and serve immediately.


Enjoy! 


Whitney for…

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5 ways to cut cost and stress from your wedding!

RefreshHer5 Comments

I planned my wedding in two months and it cost $1000. I could have easily planned a $30,000 wedding, but I had $800 saved and loving parents and friends who helped with the rest. As the bride, I was calm and confident of everything going smoothly the day of the wedding (and I think my dear friend/wedding coordinator felt the same way!).

Please understand.This is what worked for me. $1000 weddings aren’t for everyone. I chose to spend only the money I had! Whether you’re a low budget person like me or you’re just looking for ways to reduce costs and stress in your wedding (or your daughter/sister/friend’s wedding), I think I have some helpful tips for you! 

Before we begin – I have to offer my disclaimer.
1. My  wedding dress was a junior bridesmaid dress from David’s Bridal. Junior Bridesmaid dresses are exactly like the wedding gowns, only MUCH cheaper. I spent less than $100 total on my dress and shoes.
2. My mom baked all 300 of the beautiful and delicious cupcakes we served at the reception. She and my aunt iced and decorated them the day before the wedding. The total cost of her materials was $80. If you have an amazing mom and aunt who will do that for you and deliver the same results mine did, go for it!!!

Are these gorgeous or what?!
If you’re over 4’10” and can’t wear a junior bridesmaid dress…or your mom isn’t Martha Stewart, don’t worry! I have some other ideas for you. Two other friends of mine each spent less than $4,000 on their weddings. I was in both of their weddings and they were lovely and stress free events! One friend in particular confirmed that even with purchasing her gown from a boutique and spending $500 on her cake, the total for her wedding was $3,000. I will mix her secrets in with mine. Here we go! 


1. Keep the bridal party small
  •  My sister and best friend were my attendants, and they purchased long black formals for less than $100 each. They both ended up with lovely dresses that they really could wear over and over! Imagine that!
  • The groomsmen  wore their Sunday suits with matching silver ties that I bought at JCPenny on sale, with a coupon. 
  • Large bridal parties mean more attendant gifts, more people at your rehearsal dinner (consider the cost to your future in-laws!), and more hassle at the rehearsal itself. Nothing makes a rehearsal more stressful than 7 groomsmen trying to be the funniest while the wedding director is trying to do her job! 
  • Instead of asking ALL your friends to be in the wedding, ask them to help during the wedding! You will find that your friends are eager and willing to help, especially in their area of expertise. Ask friends to sing, play instruments, serve at the reception, arrange your flowers, or hand out programs. 

2. Save Money on DIY Printed Materials
  • You can easily download invitation and program templates online. I created my own invitations and programs in Publisher and printed them locally. Not including postage, I spent less than $30 total on the invitations and programs. I set up a free wedding website and created a form for RSVP’s, instead of including a separate RSVP card and stamped envelope. I would argue that online RSVP increases your chances of getting folks to RSVP anyway. (Have I used “RSVP” enough in this paragraph? Ahem)

3. Avoid the “wedding” aisle at the craft store!

  • I love Hobby Lobby, but their wedding aisle suffers some serious markup. You don’t have to pay their “wedding” merchandise prices…besides, half of that stuff is unnecessary. 
    • Favors: Please. Just don’t do it. We didn’t have favors at our wedding, and nobody threw a fit or left in a rage.
    • Printed napkins: Everyone knows who you are and what the date is. Plain napkins that match your colors work really well, and you can get them in the PARTY aisle at hobby lobby much cheaper. 
    • Guest Book: My wedding guest book came from TJ Maxx and maybe cost $5. Hobby Lobby’s wedding aisle? $25!
    • Bride and Groom cake server: Trust me. You don’t need that. 
  • Borrow as much as you can.
    • I borrowed my veil and crinlin slip from friends, and it was special to use their stuff!
    • Some churches have a stash of things you can use at the reception (chocolate fountains, serving trays, punch bowls, linens, tables, etc.). A deposit may be required but that’s probably all it would cost. 
    • My wedding was one week before Christmas, so the church was beautifully decorated without any cost to me. I “borrowed” other decorations from my house or purchased things I knew I would use after the wedding in my own decor. 

4. Make it your own!

  • My husband loves crossword puzzles, so we created one with questions about us and put it on the back of our programs. Everyone received a program and a golf pencil before they were seated, and it was such a hit! It was a big topic of conversation at the reception, with people stumped on different questions.
  • When I say “Make it your own,” I am including the bride AND the groom in the “your.” A huge stress reliever is this: make choices concerning what the two of you would like at your wedding. You cannot please your mom, your mamaw, your new mother in law, your dad, your aunt louise, and the sunday school superintendent all in one wedding. My wedding coordinator/dear friend was a huge help with this one. She constantly asked me “what does Paul Curtis think?” to remind me that his opinion is important! We both are pleased and proud of the way our wedding turned out, down to the 17 minute ceremony. =)
See how relaxed he was??!!


5. Plan Plan Plan

  • A good wedding coordinator will save your life. I choose someone who I was very close friends with, someone whose taste and judgement I trusted. I knew I could send any questions right to her and she would answer them the way I would. Another of my low budget wedding friends chose her aunt who had experience directing weddings and knew the bride well. It is a huge stress relief to have a coordinator that you feel comfortable with (and is also a great way to let your friends help!). 
  • I had a spiral notebook and a thumb drive that I carried everywhere before the wedding. The thumb drive had my guest list, addresses, names of everyone helping along with their assignments, program, invitation, etc. 
  • Sit down and think through every aspect of the day. Here’s an example:
    • Peppermint punch at the reception: 
      • ingredients for punch
      • decide when to purchase them
      • decide when to take ingredients to reception site
      • assign someone to make the punch
      • write out the directions for making/serving the punch and give to coordinator or person in charge of reception
      • figure out how many/what kind of cups will you need
      • decide where you will serve the punch on the food tables
  • Use processes like that to make a detailed schedule of the rehearsal and wedding day. It might seem overwhelming at first, but it will pay. off. big. time.


I couldn’t be happier with the outcome of our wedding. I KNOW some of you have tips for cutting cost and stress from your wedding. Let me hear your ideas!


Whitney for…


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Abundant Life!

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After I graduated from college, I spent several years completely single. There was the occasional coffee date with a single guy in one of my friends college & career groups, but those never turned into anything permanent. I wanted to be married eventually, but this is the truth: I wouldn’t trade those “dateless” years for anything.

How can I say that?

Jesus offers a love relationship that is more than enough.

I know that sounds like such a typical “single girl” answer, but it is the truth. Marriage is wonderful – but not easy, and I’m so thankful for those years where I developed a relationship with the One who never fails! I had lots of time for group Bible studies, personal study, and “just me and the Lord” worship time, wherever and whenever! Jesus offers an abundant life regardless of your circumstances. John 10:10 says, “I have come that they might have life, and have it to the full!” 

There are two foundational truths that encouraged me:
1. God is in control and has a personal plan for my life. 
2. I’d rather be happy and alone than married and lonely. 

I also spent lots of time with my girlfriends, shopping, eating out and doing fun stuff (like attending NASCAR races, below). We had such good times together! 


Two years ago, I ran into an old friend at a basketball game. He asked me out for coffee, and his sparkling blue eyes immediately melted my heart. That coffee date was unlike the others! God IS in control and DOES have a personal plan for my life. I am so thankful for my husband – he is a constant reminder of that perfect, personal plan. 



If you are in those dateless years, take heart! Jesus has come to bring abundant life (and a personal, perfect plan) for YOU. 

If I can encourage you in any way, I’d love to hear from you (my email is whitneypendell at gmail dot com if you don’t want to leave a comment).

Whitney for…