Discipleship · Mentoring · Women's roles

A Life-On-Life Mentor

Years ago when I left home and stepped out on my own, there was no one to whom I spent time asking questions and being taught.  I had had the privilege of a Christian home and godly parents, but as far as someone sitting down to teach me my role as a Christian woman, I had no type of discipleship.  I think part of that was that in those decades, the idea of mentoring and being mentored was a quiet subject.  Not many addressed it.

Today that is not the case.  There have been many authors and speakers who have reminded us of our role in Titus 2 – that the older are to teach the younger.  I’ve been blessed now to have been on both ends, and I know the joy and blessing of learning and also of helping a younger woman to grow in Christ.

One newer book that is that is a wonderful teaching tool is Adorned, by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth.  The emphasis of the book is that as believers, we are to adorn the beauty of the Gospel and live it out before the world, and we are also to teach it to the younger women in our lives.

I have the blessing right now of using this book to teach a young woman in Spain!  We are using Facebook video to chat, to grow, and to pray together.  I thought back to my time as a young woman when there was really no one reaching out to me (but neither did I reach out!).  I especially needed help when I was married.  I had so many questions that I wished someone could answer.  Perhaps you feel that way, too.  If that is the case, I wondered if you would allow me to walk you through this study?  If you can get a copy of Nancy’s book, I’d highly recommend that.  I will simply be pulling some of the truths from each chapter and highlighting them with you here as I will be doing with my young Spanish friend. 

So today is the beginning of this series.  Why not grab a pen and a journal and write down anything you read that challenges you?  

Let’s dive in, shall we?

I want you to think back to some time when you were adorned in your finest.  Perhaps it was an event that you attended – a special dinner, a concert, your graduation, your wedding or someone else’s where you stood up as an attendant or gussied yourself up as a guest.  At times like that we may have the “glow” of beauty about us.  That is the picture we need to have in our mind as we think about reflecting the love of Christ to others. The beauty of our lives should reflect His joy, His peace, and His love in the midst of a world full of sin and chaos.  Our lives should point other people to our Savior.  When a bride is glowing, it’s obvious to others that she loves her groom.  When our life is radiating the love of Christ, we will reveal our love for Him!

Think back to this past week.  What happened in your week to dim your spiritual “glow”?  

  • Busyness
  • Family struggles
  • Marital conflict
  • People problems
  • Financial loss
  • Sickness
  • Fatigue

These and a million other things threaten to rob us of the joy of being in a love relationship with the Lord Jesus.  

What is a woman to do?  At those times when we feel the rug has been pulled out from under our feet and we feel alone, shaken, and even in despair, what are we to do?  

Do you remember the show, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?  The contestant would be asked questions that required much knowledge.  As they progressed in successfully answering, their gain got higher…to the point that they could become a millionaire!  However, if they got stumped, they could call a friend for help.  The friend would be asked the question and given the chance to answer. The contestant then had to decide whether or not to accept the friend’s answer or give one of their own guesses. Obviously, the contestant chose this friend carefully.  They didn’t call someone who was the class clown, or had flunked out of school!  This was someone very wise that they knew they could count on!  When we are stumped in our spiritual life and unsure of the next step, or are depressed or discouraged, we need to do the same thing…call a friend!  This is going to be someone who has been a student of God’s Word – someone who wouldn’t just say they’re praying for us, but would actually do it right now.  This is going to be someone who will give “right answers” to us because they will be biblical answers.

In short, we need a mentor.  If possible, we need a group of women who can encourage us, keep us accountable and keep our feet on the right path!  We won’t end up a millionaire, but we will be rich in many other ways!  

The truth is – we need one another!!

This shouldn’t just happen in our desperate moments, but in every day life-on-life experiences.  Women need one another.  And where will this happen?  Not in the classroom, but in an informal setting like at the kitchen table.  It’s at the table where we can be casual, honest and approachable.  The kitchen table is where we can open our home and our heart to allow a younger woman to sit and learn from our mistakes. 

They can learn from our example. 

They can grow with us as we obey this command in Titus 2 – The older women teach the younger women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands that the Word of God be not blasphemed.  In other words, teach so that the glow of the Gospel doesn’t fade from our lives!! 

It’s not about having a big stage.  It’s not about having a huge audience.  It’s about obeying this command and using that “kitchen table” platform that God has given you.  It’s about reaching out to a woman younger than you are to teach the Truths of His Word as you are learning and growing yourself.  

You may be thinking you are unqualified.  You know that you don’t know everything.  You know that your life is as sticky as you table sometimes is.  You know that you’re still growing.  Well, guess what?

  • You don’t need a degree – you need discernment. James 1:5  If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.
  • You don’t need perfection – you have a perfect Savior – Hebrews 12:2 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.
  • You don’t need an immaculate home, you need a clean heart. Psalm 51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.

As an older woman, ask the Lord to guide you to someone that you could approach about meeting with you. Remember, we’re all older than someone.

Or if you’re younger, pray the Lord will show you someone who is older and spiritually wiser whom you could ask to mentor you. My young Spanish friend reached out to me…I admire her for that!

If nothing else, you have this lesson right here, right now.  Learn.  Grow and then glow with the adornment of the Gospel so a watching world will see Christ in you! Then go and share with someone else what you’re learning.

Want to go a little deeper?  

  1. Memorize Titus 2:1,2

But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine:

2 That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience.

  1. This week, invite a friend to join you at your kitchen table (or some other informal setting) and share what you’re learning through this study of Adorned.

Next time we’ll discuss that first verse to learn what we are to teach.

If there’s a question you have as we go through these lessons, please write and ask me!  I’d be happy to try to answer them in the comments or you can contact me at Refreshherblog@gmail.com .

Be adorned!

Christian Life · friends · Life · Refreshment

Refresh Yourself With Fellowship

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A week or so ago I found myself at a surprise birthday party for a friend.  Because it was a surprise, and everything was “hush-hush!” I had no idea who else had been invited.  I was delighted to find several other good friends were also there.  We were able to sit together and enjoy the fun of some fellowship that probably wouldn’t have happened otherwise!  We had a great time celebrating our friend’s birthday AND getting to share an evening together!  It was a reminder to me that we need to schedule those times of encouragement! 
When was the last time you got out and had fellowship with a friend or two?  Women tend to be so busy with life that they seldom make time for fellowship that will encourage and strengthen them as a Christian woman.  We need each other.

I love what Paul says in Philippians 3:17, 18 – ‘

Brethren, be followers together of me, and mark them which walk so as ye have us for an ensample. For many walk, of whom I have told you often, and now tell you even weeping, that they are the enemies of the cross of Christ.  

This is a warning not to fellowship with the wrong people, as well as an encouragement to fellowship with the right people!  Paul is saying, “Walk with people like me and steer clear of someone who will take you down the wrong path!”  This is a reminder to me that we need the influence of strong believers in our lives.  

What a blessing it is to get together with another Christian woman, who loves God, loves His Word, and loves doing the things that will honor the Lord!  Can I encourage you to schedule time to get with a godly friend in the next week?  Share a cup of coffee and talk about what you’re reading in the Word. Share your burdens with one another.  Pray together.  It will refresh your heart and hers!

Be refreshed by a friend,

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