Practical Help When You’re Drowning in the Hurts of Ministry, Part 3

You can listen to today’s post here on Refresh Her podcast.

The dishwater was warm and sudsy and I was busy at work cleaning up the supper dishes, but my mind was in a totally different place. Mentally I was re-reading the email that had been sent. It was a letter of betrayal and the ending of a friendship. I was shocked, hurt and reeling from the surprise of it all. We had ministered together in church. We had prayed over burdens and cared for one another’s griefs, but now she was gone, from the church and my life.

Suddenly realizing that this preoccupation with all the events was not where my mind should be dwelling, I asked the Lord to help me learn from this trial and dwell on Him instead of this hardship.

Whether it’s ministry or personal life, I think it’s common for our minds hit “replay” on hardships while our hands are busy and our thoughts can wander. But this is not the best practice as we learn from David in Psalm 63. When he was experiencing betrayal from his own son, listen to where he let his thoughts go:

My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness and my mouth shall praise Thee with joyful lips, when I remember Thee upon my bed, and meditate on Thee in the night watches. Psalm 63:5-6

David chose to meditate on his God, rather than the trial. What a wise choice he made! He knew that God’s character is always worth praising. He is rehearsing the goodness of God, His protection and His justice. David tells of another betrayal in Psalm 55 of one who had served God with him, but now was against him. The truth he chose to believe was that God would save him from this trouble and He would deal with those that had done him wrong.

As pastor’s wives, we are often called on to be the lifeguard for others. When we are “drowning” in our ministry hurts, we must do what David does so that we are rescued.

We must remember what God has done in the past. Dwelling on Him keeps us safe. Dwelling on the offenses is like diving into shallow water. An injury is sure to follow! If we only “dive into the hurts” we will hurt ourselves, our testimony and our own spiritual growth.

We must consider Christ’s suffering. Hebrews 12:3 Where is God when we are suffering? He is in the same place as when He watched His Son suffer for our sin. He is there! Christ suffered more for us than we ever will. Consider Christ’s suffering for you and be thankful.

Consider your enemy’s end. Psalm 63:9 tells us that God will take care of wrong doers. He is a just God and we can leave these matters into His hands. Vengeance is God’s. When the train goes through the tunnel and it gets dark, you don’t tear up the ticket and jump off the train. You sit still and trust the engineer. ~ Corrie Ten Boom We must sit still and trust God to do what is right.

Remember bitterness’ consequences. We need to be careful not to let our hearts get bitter because of turmoil. Hebrews 12:15

Years ago when our family went to Lake Huron in the Upper Peninsula in mid-winter, I watched the waves on the shore splash up higher and higher, causing a “wall” of ice to be formed. This is a picture of what can happen to our hears when we don’t properly deal with bitterness. Not only does it keep us from being fruitful, but it isolates us from people, it makes me want to keep distant from people and from maturing in my Christian life.

If you don’t want to drown in hurts, let’s make application from the advise given to people who want to learn to become swimmers:

1. Never swim alone. Keep other people around you. Fellowship with others who will encourage you!
2. Make sure you wear a life jacket. God’s Word will keep you buoyed and stabilize your thinking with truth.
3. Don’t let fear keep you from enjoying the water. Don’t be afraid to invest in other people just because you’ve been hurt in the past. Find someone to disciple and trust God with your bandaged up heart!
4. Keep your own pool inviting. Make sure you’re keeping your own home a haven for you and your husband. It should be a loving safe-haven for the both of you.

Look at your hardships as a passageway in which you can grow, rather than an ocean that can drown you.

Refresh your hurt heart with Truth,