Champion Modesty

I read a book a couple of years ago that really opened my eyes. It was entitled, For Women Only, by Shaunti Feldhan. I would highly recommend it to you . It covers topics about which the author surveyed men. It talks about how important respect is to them, how truly fragile their ego is, why men are clueless sometimes about romance and a couple of other interesting topics. But the one chapter that was an eye-opener to me was entitled, “Keeper of the Visual Rolodex.” This chapter dealt with the fact that men are visual. We may have heard that phrase, but as women it’s hard for us to really comprehend what that means, and what effect it has on men.

Seventy-six of the men that were surveyed said that if a woman with a good figure walks in the room they struggle with not looking at her. They then have a mental picture of her in their mind that can pop up at any moment and they’ll have to deal with the thoughts that accompany the picture. As women we may say, “well, they just need to deal with it.” “That’s disgusting!” They have a problem!” But if we deal with this on a biblical basis we must understand that just as the Lord made women to be “touch orientated” men are sight-orientated. It’s a struggle they deal with every single day.

The society that we live in contributes to the difficulty that men face. The spandex tops, scooped necklines, or necklines with the deep V, are all factors that reveal flesh. Mix that with below waistline jeans and short skirts and the battle is doubled. But it’s not just at the mall that flesh is revealed – it’s also at church. Unthinking women buy a dress or top without checking it out before walking out the door, and they unknowingly bring the immodesty of the world into the sanctuary. It’s not my desire to be a legalist about this; this topic is one of a woman being virtuous and discreet; concerned enough not to cause a man to sin in his heart because of what she is wearing.

Can I encourage you after you have dressed (or better yet, when you’re trying something on in the dressing room) bend over in front of the mirror. Does the dress or top open up and reveal your flesh? Does the neckline reveal cleavage? Does the small of your back show? If so, then either layer another top underneath or don’t wear it.

If we are to help the men around us to be godly, then it’s our responsibility to dress modestly. They struggle enough in the world…let’s not make it difficult at church too. Let’s be women that champion modesty. Be examples of modesty yourself and teach it to your daughters. Let’s not be “fodder for the mental Rolodex just because of how we dress.”