Empty Arms and Hurting Hearts

Mother’s Day is one of those emotional holidays. It pulls at our hearts as we honor mothers. However, for some women, Mother’s Day is another reminder that they are not a mother, that they have not been blessed with a child. Though their heart yearns for a baby more than anything else in the world their arms are empty. Their childlessness may be due to infertility, miscarriage, stillbirth or SIDS (Sudden infant death syndrome), but the reason doesn’t matter, the ache and longing is there regardless of why.

Because I have had a stillbirth (you can read my story here on my blog https://refreshher.com/2008/12/09/my-flesh-faileth/), I can understand what Mother’s Day evokes in a woman’s heart when she’s longing for the baby she never had, or one that’s died. What can a woman do at this time to avoid the pain that this holiday brings? Here are some suggestions not just for Mother’s Day itself, but all through the year:

  • Don’t focus on your loss – Instead focus on your mother and the blessing she has been. If your mom wasn’t a part of your life, then remember another woman who acted as your mother.
  • Do something for someone else – Make your mom’s day special, or ask an elderly woman over who doesn’t have children or doesn’t live near her children. Spend time being a blessing to someone else.
  • Reach out to a younger person who could use someone’s special attention, perhaps a child in a family of several children who would flourish with some individual attention from you. Mentor that young person, pray with them and for them. Spend time doing things with them.
  • Remember that God is a good God. See your suffering of childlessness as a way to share in Christ’s suffering.

If you are reading this and you are a parent, look around and find a childless woman who could act as a second mom to your child(ren), or a woman who could fill the roll of grandmother in absence of your mother. What a blessing they could be to your family and what a blessing your family would be to her!

To all of you with empty arms, can I just remind you of God’s great love for you? He knows the longing in your heart. I heard a quote years ago that said, “When you get to the place where there’s nothing left but God, you find that He is enough.” It’s true. He is enough for your salvation, and He is enough for your childlessness. He cares and I do too.

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