Years ago I heard this illustration: When I as a wife, put certain expectations on my husband, I am putting prison bars around him. Imagine that I have 50 expectations of what he should be and gestures he ought to perform. That would mean that there are 50 bars around him, enclosing him in. He feels trapped and in bondage. Is that love? Sounds more like cruel and unusual punishment, yet most of us pull out our list every time a special event comes around. We read off our list to ourselves (and maybe our fella) and roll our eyes in disgust and comparison.
May I challenge you today, friend? The challenge is not to have the best Valentine, but to be the best one! Don’t worry about having the best husband, but Being the best wife. See the difference in the focus? Instead of taking the magnifying glass to hubby, I use the 10 X mirror when looking at myself! The pressure is off of him. Now I see my own faults, my irritants, my habits, my selfishness, my sin, and take those things to the Lord in prayer that I might be that godly Valentine God would have me be for my groom that I love more than I could ever imagine. I Corinthians 13:4 – Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up
When our focus changes, we really won’t need someone to give us a list of gifts to give our husband – we’ll know what would please him. Oh, and an interesting thing happens when a wife loves her husband like this – a change takes place! It may or may not be in him, but it sure happens in her. She will probably be so intent on that expression of her own love that she won’t be wounded by his neglect.
So, the way to be his Valentine all year long is to focus on your own responsibilities as a wife.Perhaps we should picture it like this:
“Bee” the best Valentine this Thursday that any husband ever had!