I’m a mother of daughters, so I’m not too familiar with the Transformer toys that I see the boys at church playing with, but I understand that they can change from one thing to another. I recently say a “Mommy Transformer” when I was in town…
I was doing some shopping at Hobby Lobby, buying some things for the church. Intent on my search for specific items, I rounded an aisle and was struck by the beauty of a young woman coming towards me. She had a little toddler in the cart, and a boy, about four was walking ahead of her. She looked so young. I wondered if she was just the nanny for these two until I heard the four year-old say, “Mommy…” and then he proceed to ask her a question about something he saw and admired in the store. I was amazed at how quickly that beautiful young woman’s expression turned to far less than beautiful. She was transformed into what seemed to be a variation of the “Wicked witch of the West.” Her tone and the expression on her face completely betrayed her natural beauty. The child wasn’t doing anything naughty. He hadn’t touched the object, he was just pointing at it. She drew so much attention to herself as she hissed and spoke to him through her clenched teeth. As she walked away from me, her brood continued to get the transformed and less-than-lovely version of their mommy.
Every single woman – even a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ – is susceptible to this kind of transformation. How? By responding to our children out of our flesh. It brings out our evil heart. We are impatient, snippy and unkind – and also less than lovely.
The good news is that we can transform back to the sweet spirit and nature that makes a child want to draw close rather than pull away from their mommy. It comes by:
- recognizing that you’re losing it. Ask the Lord to make you sensitive to when you’re getting remotely close to the “breaking point.” You don’t want to get there! You can feel the impatience and frustration welling up inside, can’t you? Admit it!
- running to the Lord at that moment. If you’re in a place where you can go lock yourself in your bedroom for a minute (or the bathroom), get on your knees before the Lord. If you can’t get alone physically, get alone in your heart. Talk the God. Tell Him your frustration. Name the child. Ask the Lord to forgive you for the anger or impatience. Then pray and ask Him to fill you with His Spirit once again.
- returning to your child and ask their forgiveness. They will learn a repentant heart by watching you. Tell them you’ve asked God to forgive you, now you want them to forgive you. This doesn’t mean you’re going to overlook their disobedience, or whatever it was that caused your anger; it means you’re going to deal with it calmly and in the Spirit, rather than your flesh. If you punish out of anger your child will respond the same way. They may throw a tantrum or scream. But if you’re quiet and loving, you’re setting the example for how they’re to respond.
If you’ve been saved, you are a new creature! Old things are passed away and all things are become new. Don’t be transformed into the ugly version of your sinful “old” self! Instead, walk in the Spirit and be a mommy who shows the new and improved version to her children! Show them the lovely transformation that comes when a mommy walks under the control of her loving Savior!
When are most tempted to be transformed into the “Old you?”
With love,
Thank you, Mrs. Cunningham! This is very practical and encouraging advice. It is wonderful to remember that with the Lord's help, we can stop a moment of parenting in the flesh in its tracks and allow Him to transform us right back into the loving example He has called us to be.
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