Keeping Your Marriage From Being a Statistic

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Connecting with friends from long ago happens frequently, thanks to Facebook.  Sometimes the re-connection brings pieces of good news – of family blessings or a life making a difference for Christ.

Recently someone very dear to us reached out to my husband.  The messages went back and forth filling in the empty pieces of all the years that have spanned our last visit.  It was with great sadness that we learned of their recent divorce after more than 30 years.  It was like a low blow – we didn’t see it coming and it hurt!  We hurt for all the pain it has brought.  We hurt for the child involved in the separation.  We hurt for the picture of oneness that has been broken. We hurt for the tears and sleepless nights that this family has endured.

We also hurt for marriages in general.  Why?  Because marriage is under attack.  Satan loves to get a foothold in the hearts and lives of one or both partners.  He hates marriage because it is one of God’s plans that pictures the Gospel – oneness, forgiveness and grace.  Here are some of his tactics he may throw at a married couple:

  1. A rift that makes the relationship become distant.
  2. Then there seems to the couple they have nothing in common anymore.
  3. They begin to live as roommates, or maybe even two strangers in same house.
  4. It progresses to then seeing the spouse as an enemy, out to hurt and destroy.
  5. The “logical” option is to end the marriage.

I’ve posted here about my recent Instagram pictures on Mondays, entitled, “Marriage Matters.”  I’ve challenged myself to post a picture of something each Monday that shows  an effort to enhance my marriage because Marriage Matters!  I’ve invited you to join me, and several have! Thank you!

I personally need the weekly reminder that unless we are proactive in keeping the fires in our marriages burning significantly, rather than just a little smoldering puff of smoke ready to go out, we are allowing our marriage to become another statistic. Worse than that, the testimony of Christ will have gotten another blot.

What can you do today to keep your marriage from being another statistic?

  1. Pray for your marriage.
    1. Ask God to give you a heart for your husband.
    2. Ask God to give your husband a love for you.
    3. Ask God to protect your home against all evil.
    4. Ask the Lord for wisdom about what you could do today to show that your marriage matters.  There are some days that I feel like I’m at a total loss about how I could serve my husband or do something loving for him – my mind is just blank!  That’s when I pray and ask the Lord what I could do.  He made that guy!  He knows his needs and He will reveal to me what I can do for him today!
  2. Stop and plan something you and your husband could do together as a date within this next week.  Make the plans, then tell him you have something fun scheduled just for the two of you!  Here are some lists  or ideas I found.  Some might be silly, but don’t be a stick in the mud!  Keep looking until you find an idea suitable for you both.
  3. Be the most pleasant person your husband has seen or talked to all day.
    1. Look at him when he talks.
    2. Speak sweetly.
    3. Don’t be his mom, be his wife! That means don’t criticize or belittle him.
    4. Smile at him.
    5. Smile with your voice when you speak on the phone.
    6. Dress for him.  Look sharp for him and wear what he likes to see you wear.
  4. Provide for his needs – physically, spiritually, and practically.
    1. Don’t let him leave home “thirsty.”
    2. Make home his haven.
    3. Provide good meals that will make him anticipate suppertime!

I realize that not every marriage will be “fixed” by these simple four additives, but if your marriage is just stale and lacking, these simple ideas can revitalize your relationship and add the spark to get it back on track!

Keep your marriage refreshed,

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