Marriage · Refreshment in marriage

Triple Wedding Truths


Last weekend I had the blessing  of attending a TRIPLE wedding! Three separate weddings took place in a span of about 2 1/2 hours, with about 15 minutes between each wedding. The three brides

were all sisters, and two of the grooms were brothers. The other groom is a young man who has been attending our church.  It was a pretty amazing day of TRIPLE the love!

The day before had brought gray clouds filled with snow, but the wedding day dawned bright and beautiful! I’m sure that all three couples had the same “bright and beautiful” desires for their own marriages, and I certainly pray that for each of them!

God was glorified as each of their stories were told about how they were brought together. Each couple was certain, as all couples are, that this was God’s doings, and it was good.

Each wedding was unique in its own way, yet there was a common thread – nothing was perfect.  A few times I watched the pastor wince at a wrong word at the wrong time.  One dad admitted to the congregation that he had just messed up, “even after they’d practiced this several times the day before!”

These were lovely weddings, but they were not perfection…just like the marriages that will be lived out after the tuxedos are returned to the rental stores and the wedding dresses are packed safely away into the cedar chest. Even with all the counseling and preparation, none of these marriages will be perfect, just as mine and yours is not perfect.

As I watched those triple weddings happen, I thought about a triplet of truths that are universal for nearly every single marriage:

    1. Before the wedding we could only envision joy-filled days, but we all come to realize that there is a measure of difficulty in every marriage that will make for hard days.
    2. Before the wedding, we see our differences as assets, but over time, those differences can become annoyances.
    3. Before the wedding, girls think of her groom as her leader, but in time, it’s easy to take the reins if we feel he isn’t “stepping up or doing things as we think he should.”

The reality of the “after the wedding” truths isn’t a “Dooms Day” pronouncement – it’s facing the truth and then deciding whether we do the right thing and deal biblically with it, or we go against the plan of God and bale out or just give up.

My friend, if you’re dealing with a hardship in your marriage today, that would mean you’ve been married more than a week! It’s going to happen because two sinners were united.  Let me encourage you with these next three truths:

    1. Hardship in marriage doesn’t mean that your marriage is hopeless.  Since marriage is intended to put the Gospel on display, we can know that where Christ is, there is hope!  Putting the Gospel on display in your relationship means showing in marriage what we experience in Christ ~
      1. Forgiveness
      2. Reconciliation
      3. Submission
      4. Love
      5. Kindness
      6. Sacrifice
      7. Grace… and on and on!
        When these characteristics are manifested in a marriage, God is honored and change can happen!
    2. The difference in you and your mate is God’s plan.  You need his strengths and he needs yours.  That means that there are weaknesses on both ends.  God put you together to help one another.  Instead of letting those differences irritate you or give you reason to nag, pray about them.  Thank God that your spouse is different than you!  Remember that you chose to marry him because of his character traits.  Choose gratitude instead of grumbling.
    3. A home with two heads is a monster and one with no head is dead.  If you’ve felt the need to step into the leadership role because “he just sits there!” or “he won’t lead!,” pray for your husband to be the leader God intended, then sit back and let him.  Don’t step in, take over, make the final decision or push him aside.  Give him honor.  Show him you value his leadership.  Come lovingly under his protective care, however small it may be.  Wait for him to lead and then praise him for it.

Let your mind travel back to the day you said, “I do” and remind yourself of the truth that God wants your marriage to succeed more than you do.  He is there assisting you every day if you yield yourself and your marriage to Him.  He will give you grace to love, honor and obey your husband.  It will never be perfect, but  it can bring you triple joy as you put the Gospel on display every day after you’ve said, “I do!”

denise a

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