Christian Life

A Peek Into the Parsonage

Have you ever been asked about your most embarrassing moment?  Yesterday when I wrote the post about pressure cooker times, I was reminded of mine.  I don’t guess you’d care to hear about it?  Well, it was like this…

We had a four year-old daughter who was attending pre-school at the Christian school in our area.  Ministry was busy and finances were tough.  Then out of the clear blue I got a phone call from the principal where Whitney was attending pre-school.  It seems they were in dire need of a second grade school teacher because the current teacher had quit.  He asked if I would pray about teaching the class for the year.  The whole year?  How could I swing that with all my other responsibilities as a wife, mom and pastor’s wife?   As my husband and I talked and prayed about it, we felt that perhaps this was the Lord providing for our needs. 

As we prayed, I consulted with my parents for their advice.  I clearly remember having a phone conversation with my dad where he discouraged me from taking the position because of the age of my little girl and her needs.  She would be home in the afternoon when I would still be at school.  I regretted later not heeding his warning!  But we reasoned that she would have time with her daddy while I was gone.  We failed to consider the many ministry responsibilities that would call for his time.

So, yes, I took the teaching job.  From the very first afternoon when I saw my husband pull out of the school parking lot with our daughter in tow, I regretted signing my name on the dotted line of that teaching contract!  But now it was too late.  We got into a routine – Whitney rode to school with me in the morning where she went to pre-school and I headed to the second grade classroom.  Her daddy picked her up at noon when her class was finished and they would visit church members together in the afternoon or she would play while he studied.  Some days, due to the need to visit the hospital or attend a funeral, she would spend the afternoon with a friend and fellow-pastor’s wife.  When I would hear that they had made cookies, played house or beauty shop, it would tear my heart in two!  

Along with school, of course, were my ministry responsibilities.  I tried to keep up with activities and the people of our congregation.  One evening, desiring to show my concern, I approached a woman whose mother had been very ill.  “Mae, how is your mother doing?” I asked.  Her expression turned to disbelief, and she said in a somber tone, “Denise, my mother died two weeks ago.”  At that moment I wished I could die!  How embarrassing!  I apologized for my blunder and somehow found my way to my seat where my face slowly gained its natural color.

That’s what happened as a result of having too many plates spinning in the air and trying to keep them all going.  Now one had crashed to the floor – and in church of all places – the place where I should have been demonstrating care and concern!  I realized at that moment that I was doing too much, and that I wasn’t giving ample time or attention to the things that were most important.

Though that year was difficult, I learned the greatest lesson from that experience.   I learned what my priorities were, and working outside my home while I had children to raise was not one of them!   Hence, that was my first and last job, not because I was too lazy to work; I had just learned the hard way that the best (and most fulfilling) job for me was raising my girls and being a helpmeet to my husband.  Nothing else in the world really mattered.  There were still times when I’ve felt I was spinning plates, but I had learned through my embarrassing moment not to allow those plates to be the ones that were closest to my heart. 

How do you balance all the busy things going on in your world?  Is there something you feel the Lord would have you to give up?  Don’t do what I did!  Ask and then obey!

From my parsonage window,

Christian Life

Pressure Cooker Times

I looooove those good ol’ Southern-style green beans.  They’re the ones that are from fresh green beans that have been cooked for several hours, with some bacon fat or ham added to give a lovely fattening coating over those nice healthy veggies!  However, because it does take several hours to make, I have usually opted for a quick version of beans that satisfied my taste for this delicacy only partially. 
Then this summer I was given my mom’s pressure cooker.  Up until that time I was really afraid to use one.  I had visions in my head of the steam in the pot reaching such levels that I would look up only to see a lid-sized hole in the kitchen ceiling!  So after getting this pot washed and ready to use, I went to the Internet to watch a video on how to safely use my new gadget.  After several viewings, I learned all the safety precautions and tips on how to get those Southern green beans.  I followed all the instructions and Ta-da – in 25 minutes I had beans that tasted like they’d cooked all afternoon!
As I watched the video on the Internet, I learned how to adjust the valve and the temperature to keep the steam from getting too extreme and causing pressure problems (a hole in the ceiling!).  I also learned to take the pot to the sink at the end of the cooking time to allow a little cool water to drip over the lid and reduce the pressure.  That preparation helped me accomplish the task!
You know what?  There are also techniques in life to help us reduce the pressure.  Just as I had to think through the process of cooking the beans properly, stopping to think through what we’re doing and then preparing for it will help to reduce whatever pressure we’re facing.   Right now, our church is going through two weeks of revival meetings.  That can add a lot of pressure to an already busy life…unless we stop to think it through, pray it through, and then prepare.  So, anyone  going through a pressure-filled time, ask yourself a few questions:
  • What can I do to adjust the “heat”? 
    • Eliminate a few activities?
    • Simplify meals?
    • Lighten the home school load?
    • Lower the expectation of what I need to accomplish today?

  • What will add a little “cool water” right now?
    • Spend specific time in prayer for the meetings (or whatever is causing your pressure)
      • Pray for those involved
      • Pray for your own response
      • Pray for your attitude
    • All through the day, encourage your heart by listening to good music, reviewing Scripture memory verses, listening to radio broadcasts that will turn your heart to the Lord.  Keeping your focus on Christ instead of the pressure will give you aright perspective!
    • Make sure you (and your children) get adequate rest. 
    • Plan a fun activity for Friday night (our off night for revival)
I don’t use a pressure cooker every day.  We don’t have revival meetings every week. Not every day is one filled with pressures  Let’s make the necessary adjustments and preparations so that instead of it being an experience that we dread,  it will be a time of wonderful and blessed results that are lasting.  We might even learn to appreciate those pressure-cooker times because of the end result!
With love,
Denise
Christian Life

The Gracious Woman

Just a warning – if you are under the age of 35 you may not like this post, and will probably be muttering to yourself as you read.  Read anyway!  =)  If you’re over 35, you’ll probably be glad that someone is addressing this topic.

What is it?  Cell phones.  What a useful tool they are!  What confidence it gives when we leave home for a trip, knowing that if we get lost or need help, we can hit a speed dial and get help – like the Life line on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire!  What  a blessing to no longer have the incredible phone bills that long distance calls used to accumulate! 

However, dear friends, there are times and places to use cell phones, and there are times and places to put them in your purse.  Proverbs 11:16 says that A gracious woman retains honour.  Part of being a gracious woman is being a woman of wisdom, courtesy and prudence.  We have to think about what we’re doing.  We must ask ourselves if this is the time and place for what we are doing or saying.  In regards to cell phone use, we need to ask ourselves:

  • Is it necessary that I have my phone out right now, or can it wait? 
  • Am I being a distraction to those around me by lighting up my phone to check it?
  • Is this text message really that important that I need to read it at church during the song service or message?  (Can we not give one hour to worship; totally undistracted?)
  • Do I need to know the time while I’m in church?  If your phone is the means by which you tell the time, forget the time and trust the Lord to get you out of there before the roast burns!
  • Am I being courteous by taking a call or checking my messages right now? 
    • Is someone speaking
      • to me personally? 
      • at the dinner table?
      • In a small group setting?
      • in prayer?
    • Is this a solemn occasion?
      • Wedding?
      • Funeral? – These are two more places that definitely need discretion!

There are lots of places where you can read about cell phone courtesy, but they seldom talk about being in church or in private places or settings.  We need to realize that life is about our God and people.  Set your phone aside and free yourself from the appendage that it has become.  You’ll find yourself getting more out of what’s happening around you.  Look people in the eye and converse.  Don’t be distracted by the beeping and vibrating of your phone.  Turn it off and live in the moment God has given you.  You know what else?  That message will be there when the time is right.

Refresh others by your graciousness.

Because I care,

Christian Life

The Light That Shines

But the path of the just is as the shining light, that shineth more and more unto the perfect day.
Proverbs 4:18
My husband and I were recently driving through subdivisions just looking at houses and yards, commenting and dreaming as we drove along.  “Oh, pretty landscaping!  Lovely wreath on that door!”  Then we came to a house and my husband commented about how he’d like to live in a place like that.   “No, that is too shady!” was my reply.  “I have to have the sun pouring in my windows and doors!” 
I love the sunlight.  I need the sunlight.  I guess that’s why I stopped and pondered over the proverbs at the top of this post when I read it in my quiet time yesterday.  What a sweet reminder that the Lord shines His light on the path of the just.  The “just” is simply the person who has been made right by the blood of Christ and have received Him as their Savior.  As we are guided by the Word of God, we can walk in the light as He is in the light. 
This is not just any light – it’s a shining light.  When I walk in it, it’s noticeable not only to me, but also to others.  So let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. Matt. 5:16
This week I had a need for someone to go visit my aunt who has had a stroke and is in a hospital many miles from here.  She was alone, and I wondered if a pastor in that area would go see her.  A call was made to the church and we were assured that someone would go.  I also mentioned the need to a friend of mine who lives in the same area where my aunt is hospitalized.  She told me she and her husband would go when they were able.  I told her to do what the Lord led her to do…it was in God’s hands.
Later that evening my friend called me.  She and her husband were on their way home from the hospital.  They’d been able to visit my aunt, but the blessing of it all was the way the Lord directed them there at just the right time.  While they were in her room, her son called from the Atlanta airport.  Due to some mitts they’ve had to put on my aunt’s hands, had they not been there, she wouldn’t have been able to answer her phone.  The other blessing of that phone call is that the Lord has especially burdened my heart for this cousin of mine that called.  We’ve recently added his name to our prayer list at church.  My friend’s husband was able to tell him why they were there visiting. Surely my cousin saw the shining light of their good works.  I’m praying that this will be a part of drawing him to the Savior!
Praise the Lord for the light He gives so we can obey his bidding.  Praise Him, also, for the way the light of the just can shine for others to see so that they, too, might trust Christ. If you’re praying for some one’s salvation, be encouraged that the light of your life and other believers can help direct that lost person to the Light of the world!

With love,

Christian Life

Your Presence – Is It A Blessing To Others?

Many years ago there was a woman in my circle of life that was just one of those kinds of people that we affectionately call “EGR” people – Extra Grace Required. I mean no ill in saying that; it was the truth. If you knew her, you’d say the same thing, even if you have a sweet disposition like that of Melanie on Gone with the Wind! This poor woman was nearly always crabby. Her face was twisted up in discontent and she’d let you know exactly and specifically what was troubling her the moment she entered your presence. It was for those reasons that people pretty much avoided her.

On the other hand, I have known other people that I’ve gravitated to. There was one woman when I learned she was going to attend a certain event I’d hope to be seated near her because of her kind ways, fun-loving disposition and encouraging words. She talked of the Lord freely and as a part of her daily and moment-by-moment life. I learned by experience that being with her was always a blessing!

In Genesis 30 we find Jacob approaching Laban about taking his wives and children and going home. Laban isn’t real thrilled at the prospect. He answers Jacob by saying, “Tarry. For I have learned by experience that the Lord has blessed me for thy sake.” He wants Jacob to stay with him because he’s recognized that because Jacob was with him, he had received blessings from the Lord. Wow. As I read that the first thought that pops into my head is, “Does my presence bring God’s blessings to others? Or would people rather run when they see me coming?”

How about you? Are people blessed because you’re around? Do they know by experience that the Lord’s Spirit is abiding in you and they’re encouraged when they’re with you? If we have a crabby, critical or caustic attitude we can be very sure that people would rather run from us than retreat to us!

I’m asking the Lord to give me the great exchange today. I’m begging Him to take my ugly sinful nature and replace it with His Divine nature. May, I, like Jacob, be a blessing to others who are near me!

See you in church Sunday!

With love,