communication · Marriage · Wife's Role

Family Friday ~ Marriage Nuggets

iron a

plural noun: nuggets
  1. a small lump of gold or other precious metal found ready-formed in the earth.
    • a small chunk or lump of another substance.


Valuable items don’t have to be large to be worth much and the same goes for pieces of advice.  Even little nuggets of advice can be valuable.  That’s exactly what I want to share with you today!

  • Do you remember this post from last week? I talked about appreciating the differences between ourselves and our husbands.  My little preference was about the shower bottles’ lids being closed.  I even said that my husband had no idea that that bothered me!  Every day when I cleaned the shower, I would simply snap his shampoo and body wash lids back down, but I never said anything to him about it.

Guess what?

shower pic

Ever since last Friday, his bottles have been shut tighter than a toddler’s teeth at supper time!  Yep, he read my post and took it on himself to take care of that tiny issue! (How sweet is that?!) What did it take?  Communication.

Nugget #1 ~ When there are things that bother you, speak up. 
I’m clearly not talking about little pet peeves like mine; I’m talking about things that would really cause a rift in your relationship.  Many times things go on and on simply because we don’t share it with our spouse.  Either we think he should know it (!) or we’re afraid to tell him.  Sharing what’s on your heart might not remedy the issue immediately, but at least you can get it out there where it can be discussed and prayed about, and possibly have a conclusion decided upon very quickly.

  • When I was changing our sheets this week, I noticed that the top hem was really wrinkled.  I started to continue to make the bed and then I remembered that I usually always iron the guest bed.  Then I had another thought I needed to make our sheets pretty, too.


Nugget *2 – Never do for others and neglect your husband.
If he’s our priority (and he should be), we won’t want to forget to show him the special kindness that we do for other people.


Continue reading “Family Friday ~ Marriage Nuggets”

communication · Marriage

Family Friday – How To Keep Your Marriage Plugged-In

Plug in a

It happens often – a guest walks into our house and then says,

“Your house always smells so good!”

It always makes me happy to hear that because I want my house to smell good!  There are some routines I do to help accomplish this, but I think the thing that contributes most to the pleasant aroma is that I have these Yankee Plug-in’s all over the house.

Plug in

I love them!  Some have lights and are a little fancier than others that have just the fragrance refill behind a decorative plug, but they all smell really good!

I have a sweet friend who works for Yankee Candle Company who keeps me stocked up in my favorite scents. She also keeps me from using fragrances that won’t mix well together.  Combining Vanilla with a Lilac might not be the best! The candle company calls this, Fragrance layering.  It’s adding just the right combinations to create a pleasant aroma.  I am blessed to have a friend who does the “mixing” perfectly!  I keep a check on the fragrance bottles so I know when the aroma is getting ready to disappear.  I want that fragrance to continue!

Last week when another guest mentioned how good our house smelled, the Lord brought to my mind that a happy marriage also has a wonderful aroma!  It’s noticeable to others, and it happens in the same way that my house smells good – we must stay plugged-in!  Oh, not to the wall outlet, but plugged-into one another, which just means, closely connected; in touch with what is going on; informed; involved.  Easier said than done with today’s “crazy-busy” schedules, right?  It may seem difficult, but let me give you a few ways that you and your spouse can stay plugged in!

  1. At the beginning of the day, share with your spouse what your days holds and ask about his day.
    1. Are there burdens on your heart that he could pray for while you’re apart?
    2. Where will you be going?
    3. How long will you be gone?
    4. With whom will you spend your day (or appointment?)
    5. Is there a decision that needs to be discussed before you leave – perhaps about finances or what an upcoming event?
    6. Never part without saying, “I love you” and giving a kiss.
  2. During the day, let him know if anything changes in your plans.  Call or text to keep him informed.
    1. Will you be late?
    2. Are you going somewhere else?
    3. Did something unexpected come up?
    4. Don’t just text about obligatory things!  You can flirt with him in your text – he’s your husband!
      One day last week when I was in the store I saw a Valentine that was perfect for him, but I already had one to give him.  I took a picture of the front of it and sent it via a text!
  3. At the end of the day, ask questions about his day – the demands he had on him, the appointment, the problem, the blessings that occurred. Be ready to share your day, if he asks.  If he doesn’t, realize that it’s all about timing.  Be patient.
  4. Routinely, add other means of care and communication. You might call this the fragrance “layering.”  It’s when you add more than one action or response to demonstrate your interest in his  life.
    1. Drop a card in the mail and send it to his work, if possible.  If not, leave it for him – in his dresser, closet, Bible, or by his coffee cup.  Let him know in the card that you care deeply about the things that touch his life.
    2. Keep your calendars in sync.  Whether you do it electronically or on a paper calendar, have a place where both of you know what is coming up in the future.  for example, vacation schedules, work trips, medical appointments, etc.
    3. Communicate all financial decisions.  You are a team.  Never make a purchase and hide it until later.  Be up-front and transparent.
    4. Praying together daily helps to share what’s really on your hearts.  If he doesn’t initiate it, sweetly ask if you could pray together.  If he says, no, just pray the Lord will move in his heart in the days ahead.  For the time being, regularly ask how you might pray for him.
    5. Be affectionate and loving.
    6. Look him in the eyes when he’s speaking.
    7. Touch him – hold hands, rub his back, put your arm through his when you’re walking. Touch communicates!
    8. Share with him the things you are learning in God’s Word and how it is changing you.
    9. When you are able to accompany your husband on an outing, an extra activity he has to do, or a fun venture he’s excited about, like a ballgame or hike (did I just say that?!) go!

I’m pretty sure we all want our marriages to “smell wonderful” because we’re plugged-in to our spouse!  Maybe today is a good day to check the bottle to see if you need to add a refill!

In what way do you purposefully stay plugged-in to your spouse?

My husband and I are headed to The Wilds today where he will be the speaker for the Sweetheart Overnight Retreat.  Pray for us, would you?  Thank you in advance!

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