Dinner · Family life · Parenting

Parenting = Teaching

Every parent has days in which they want to turn in their Parent Button.  Were you there yesterday?  Are you there today?  Trust me, a whole room full of women just nodded their heads with you.  Parenting isn’t easy, but it is a blessed opportunity to teach.  Really, I think teaching is the primary responsibility of every mom and dad.  You find yourself as the mom doing hundreds of other things like playing, reading, fixing meals, breaking up sibling quarrels, bandaging hurts, shopping, preparing them for school, picking up after everyone, rocking to sleep, giving baths, and on and on, but we must realize that with each one of those responsibilities, teaching is at the very core of every one of them.

When you’re fixing a meal, you can bring your children in and let them assist you. Yes, it will take you twice as long and make three times the mess, but it’s a great teaching time! The little ones can help set the table, wash fruits and vegetables or help roll out dough.  Older ones can learn to use a vegetable peeler, can mix ingredients and do some simple baking.  Pre-teens can learn to take on a whole meal themselves.  Each one can also learn to help in the clean up, progressing as they age.  By the time a child leaves home they should be able to put a meal together by themselves from beginning to end because of what you have taught them in the kitchen.  I’m not just suggesting that they take your place in the kitchen – have them in there with you.  What sweet times you can have as you work together – talking to them and listening to them while you work.  What better way to apply Deuteronomy 6:8 than while working in the kitchen?  

And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.

I heard a radio broadcast recently where a woman said that when she got married at 19, she had no idea of what a wife was supposed to do.  She and her husband got married, had a brief honeymoon, then he had to get back to work.  He left her at home to head to his job.  She sat on the floor of their apartment, surrounded by boxes of their new wedding items, and played Solitaire all day until her husband got home.  He walked in, looked at all the boxes, still packed, and asked, “What’s for dinner?”  “I don’t know” she answered.  “What’s for dinner?”  He didn’t think she was funny, and she didn’t like that he came home with expectations!  She said she had no clue what to do, now that she was married.  Evidently she had always been used to her mom taking care of everything and she’d never learned how to be a homemaker.  Mealtime is a huge teaching opportunity for us, moms!

What can you do today to begin the training in just this one area in your children’s lives?  Don’t let them grow up being lazy and dependent on others.  Teach them today that work to be done – even in the kitchen – is good work, profitable work and must be shared by everyone. This isn’t just for girls…guys will benefit from learning these tools too! Your child’s spouse will thank you some day!

Here are some suggestions for things to teach in the kitchen:

  • Set the table – Make a paper place mat and draw where the plate, glass and silverware to.  The little ones can use the drawings as a guide while they learn.
  • Make a salad
  • Empty the silverware from the dishwasher – Start little ones emptying the silverware
  • Help gather ingredients from the pantry or refrigerator
  • Clear and clean the table
  • Assist with menu planning
  • Make toast or waffles in the toaster
  • Make lunch

Do you have other suggestions?  Tomorrow we’ll talk about another area of training – training in discipline.

With love,

Parenting

The Stuff of Life

This is what it looks like at the end of the hall in my house…

Alli has been packing to prepare to leave today to head back to college. There are:
cleaning supplies for the dorm room, dishes for meals eaten in the dorm, coffee pot for late night studying and early morning classes, umbrella (spite the fact that the torrential rains will blow sideways and the umbrella won’t help much), music for piano lessons, collapsible clothes hamper for the never ending laundry…

notebooks and paper for homework and projects,
a kitty to keep you company while you pack up, and to hinder you from packing your favorite pair of jeans…

a shoe bag to save space in the shared closet, stackable drawers for extra stuff that won’t fit in the dresser…

and of course suitcases for clothes, a picture album of the family, and the long-loved stuffed animal.

All this (and more not pictured) is packed up for the nine months of college life. Alli will be a sophomore this year and feels a little more prepared for college life than she did this time last year! Yep, this is the stuff of college life.

As my husband has been teaching on Sunday nights about discipline in the home, I thought about the discipline it takes the parent to train a child. There’s so much to teach them, and I’m not referring to homeschool. I’m talking about the every day things – the stuff of life that need to be discussed with our children before they leave home.

Proper table manners, etiquette, respect for elders, submission to authority, meal preparation, laundry instructions, how to iron, how to respond when dating, dating standards, biblical convictions and doctrines…the list seems endless when we consider what we should be teaching our children. These are conversations you have with them in the routine things of life – while you’re driving in the car, sitting and having lunch at McDonald’s, or tucking them into bed at night. That’s what Deuteronomy 6:7-9 is teaching…And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.

I am amazed at how few parents teach their children the facts of life. If this is not taught by the parents, (mostly incorrect) information will be picked up here and there in lewd chats with friends. When girls approach puberty, take them alone to a special restaurant and talk with them about the upcoming changes. Make them understand God’s wonderful design and plan for their lives. Boys need chats with their father about how to treat a girl, how to be a gentleman, how to respond to girls in general.

When our children pack up to leave home, there should be tons more packed away in their hearts than stuffed in duffel bags in the back of the SUV! Begin today to teach them of the stuff of life!

With a heart of love,

Parenting

Training up a child in her way

I just returned from taking Allison to piano lessons, then we made a trip to Music Doctors, a music store in our area. As Allison was looking at violin music I turned and looked at her and saw the sheer delight on her face as she thumbed through the music books looking for violin music that would challenge her.
Watching her reminded me of a message we heard at church recently about “training up a child in the way he should go.” We learned that this means to train the child in his way. No, don’t give him his way, train him in his way. In other words, in the way that he/she was created. From a very young age when Allison started taking piano I could see that she learned very quickly. Then when she began violin it was reiterated in my heart that God had gifted her with musical abilities. She had an ear for music, an ability not just to play, but to understand the music, interpret it, and love it.
Don’t think that because of that she was always eager to go to lessons! I can’t tell you how many times I had to proverbially “put my foot down” and tell her “no” to the plea to quit taking lessons. It wasn’t that I just wanted another musician in the family. I felt so responsible to develop the talents God had given her. I prayed about people that God would lead us to as instructors that could teach her and develop her skills. I told her that until she went to college she would continue both piano and violin; after that it would be her decision.

As we train our children, we must ask God to show us the way we can train them in their individual way, according to their gifts and abilities. He will answer that prayer! For our family training Allison in “her way” was the music way. The result? She looks forward to both of her lessons each week and practices many hours in preparation. The greatest result is that she is desiring a music major when she begins college next year so she can serve the Lord with her music. To God be the glory (and the musical praise)!