College Send-Offs and a Parent’s Heart

August 11, 2015August 7, 2015 RefreshHer13 Comments

The month of August brings the resuming of college classes. Anyone sending one of your children off to their first year of college? I remember facing that heart-wrenching time when both of our girls left home to further their education. It was tough, but the Lord ministered to my heart so wonderfully, and I blogged about it when it happened with Alli. I recently found that post, and wondered if it would be helpful to share again. Here it is:

This weekend found us moving our daughter to college. Whew! Thank the Lord for a mini van!

As she sat in the floor of her room packing the last of her belongings the night before leaving, she got a bit emotional about the transition that was in front of her. I understood – my emotions have been in my throat for a week. I’m so happy for her, yet it’s just unbelievable that this time has come so quickly. I’ve gone back and forth – happy, then melancholy; excited, then fearful.

God knows what we need before we do. Yesterday morning in the church service we attended, a song was sung by the choir with the pastor singing the verses as a solo. The song? Consider the Lilies. I love the song; our family has sung it in church with one daughter at the piano, the other on her violin accompanying my husband and me. Remembering us singing it recently made it special. But the words were a sweet reminder that I can trust my God for the care of my younger daughter at college. She’s young, she’s new at college life, but He is aware of where she is and what she needs and I can trust Him – especially when I consider the lilies… Matthew 6:27-29

God also gave me a wise husband who planned for us to get away to the beach after taking our daughter to college. He suggested that we take some vacation time, before going back home. How smart that was! We prayed and the Lord has provided a lovely condo at an extremely reasonable rate. Here’s the view out our patio window…

As I had my devotions recently I read Ecclesiastes 3:1 –

“To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.”

Immediately the Lord brought to my mind that there is also a purpose for every time. How I long to use this season of my life to honor the Lord. It would be very easy to live for myself now that I have more free time, but I want it to count for eternity. I’m asking the Lord for the purpose of this season, and I pray that this week while we’re away He’ll show me a bit of what that may be.

How wonderful it is to relax after a very busy summer. So for now I’ll rest…and consider the lilies.

Consider The Lilies
Written by: Joel Hemphill

Verse I
Consider the lilies they don’t toil nor spin
And there’s not a king with more splendor than them
Consider the sparrow they don’t plant or sow
But they’re fed by the Master who watches them grow

Chorus

We have a Heavenly Father above
With eyes full of mercy
And a heart full of love
He really cares when
Your head is bowed low
Consider the lilies and then you will know

Verse II

Now may I introduce you to this friend of mine
Who hangs out the stars and tells the sun when to shine
And kisses the flowers each morning with dew
But He’s not too busy to care about you

I pray that if you’re sending a child off to school, or one of your children has left to get married, or whatever the case may be, you’ll be encouraged that God is aware and He cares for them – and for you! If you need proof, just consider the lilies.

with love,

Is Your Child’s Education Your Idol?

August 6, 2015August 25, 2015 RefreshHer4 Comments

In my recent Bible club with my little students next door, I taught them the second commandment –

You shall not make unto thee any graven image.

In other words – Don’t worship idols! But I needed to establish in their hearts what an idol is. I used this definition that I heard on a radio message –

“An idol is anything I love, trust, serve or fear more than God.”

Now, if you’re a mom with children in school, will you look at the definition above and ask yourself if your child’s education has become an idol to you? We gasp and say, “But education IS important! If my child fails, he’ll never make anything of himself! How will he ever have a career? I HAVE to push him and make sure he gets good grades!” Please hear me – I’m not suggesting that you allow your child to be lazy or flunk out of fifth grade because he’d rather play baseball! But I’d like for us to consider five ways you make your child’s education more than just important, but an idol in your life:

It becomes the first priority in your home. In other words, your church attendance and participation, your schedule and extra-curricular activities all revolve around school. If there’s a test to study for, or homework to do, it comes first. You will skip church to make time for them to work on school. It’s an idol.
You talk to your child more about his grades, homework and lessons more than you talk to him about God and His Word. It’s an idol.
You fear what will happen if he fails or does poorly more than you fear him not doing the will of God for his life. It’s an idol.
You’re devoted to him getting good grades so he can make a good living, rather than him loving God and seeking His will – whatever that may be. It’s an idol.
You talk to others about your child’s achievements in their education more than you talk about their obedience to God’s Word and ways. It’s an idol.

So, how are you doing? Did these questions reveal any truth about an idol in your heart regarding education? You can trust God with your child’s education and with their future! Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you! Matthew 6:33

Lovingly,

Family life · Parenting

Finishing Out the Summer Without Boredom!

July 28, 2015August 25, 2015 RefreshHer2 Comments

Maybe summer vacation is over for you, but if your children are still out of school, why not make sure these last few weeks are full of fun?! Don’t let the boredom bug bite them (or you!). Keep things hopping and full of great activities while they can enjoy the beauty of summertime!

Here are some ideas to get you started:

Don’t forget some of the good ol’ standby summer fun things. Such as:

Hopscotch on the driveway
Hula hoops
Sprinkler or water hose jump rope
Cardboard boxes – find a refrigerator box and let the kids make a playhouse or puppet stage.
Make Popsicles
Play hide and seek just as it’s getting dark. Use flashlights to tag!
Don’t forget the library. There are so many fun things to do there!
Wash bicycles in the driveway. Spruce them up with crepe paper and streamers!
Bowl in the driveway with water bottles as the pins.
Make a fort outside.
Put a blanket out under a shady tree and have lunch.
Go to Sonic for half price beverages from 2-4! Take a book to read while sipping!
Have a late night “pajama run” to get ice cream. After the children have just gotten into bed, go through the house calling, “Pajama run! Pajama run! Everyone in the car!” Go through the drive through at Dairy Queen or McDonald’s and enjoy a sweet treat while everyone’s (well, the kids) in their p.j.’s!
Go out and catch fireflies after dark.
Go to the Farmer’s market and buy fresh produce.

Here’s another post with ideas and links.

What great ideas could you add to this list?

Loving summer,

Parenting

But I Don’t Like This!

September 19, 2013July 19, 2015 RefreshHer2 Comments

I have an adorable picture of my kitty, Liza, sitting in front of a door, staring at it, just like the picture above. It was taken just this past weekend. You see, she spends her nights in the laundry room. On Sunday morning, I let her out and then she happily followed me into the bathroom while I got ready for church. She was delighted to be out of the laundry room and with someone! She purred and could have done a commercial for Happy Cat, until I closed the door to keep her inside. When she realized that she was now behind another closed door, she began meowing, and peeking under the door. Then sat down and stared, as if her gaze alone could magically cause it to open.

What would have happened if I would have let Liza out and then closed the door behind her? Yep, she would have wanted back in. I think it’s called discontentment! It’s one thing in a pet, it’s a whole other monster when it is seen in a child!

Description of a discontented child:

If they’re at home, they want to go somewhere.
If they’re in the car traveling, they want out.
If it’s summer vacation they want to know when school will be back in session.
If they’re in school, they begin counting down the days until vacation.
If you fix spaghetti, they want hot dogs.
If you grill out at the picnic, they want Italian food.

On and on it goes until a parent can be driven to locking themselves in the laundry room with the cat! What is a parent to do?

Stop the child when they begin to complain. Tell them they can say good things about what is happening right now, but if they complain, they may not talk for a certain time limit, say ten minutes. Then they may only speak again if they can do so without complaining. Stick to your guns!
Ask the child to tell you three things they can thank God for about their current situation of staying home, being in the car, being on vacation, etc.
Have them memorize verses on complaining and thankfulness. Phil. 2:4, I Thess. 5:18, Psalm 100.
Teach songs about thankfulness. If the child starts to complain, have them go to their room and sing your thankfulness song out loud. (They’re spreading their complaints out loud, why not share the song too?!)

No one enjoys being around a complainer. Adults, we need to make sure they’re not hearing complaints from us. The weather, having to go to work, how long the church service lasted…all need to be met with a heart of gratitude that our child can learn from. Let’s set the example!

Do you have a method you use to curtail discontentment?

On to today’s Challenge:

Pastor Encouragement: Pray that your pastor will make wise lifestyle choices in order to protect his health, especially in areas of exercising, eating moderately, and getting sufficient rest. Pray for times of relaxation and renewal to balance the stress of ministry.

Husband Encouragement: Let’s get practical here. Is your husband a good lover? Have you told him so? Be specific. Let him know when he pleases you. Most husbands genuinely want to please their wives, especially in this important area of marriage. Realize that your husband wants intimacy with you . . . his desire is toward you.

Thanks for stopping by today!

With love,

obedience · Parenting

The Blessings of Obedience

February 5, 2013March 28, 2026 RefreshHer4 Comments

I am home after having a time to visit my parents in Kentucky. I just have to tell you how good the Lord is!

During the time of caring for my Mother-in-law, I often felt like I was neglecting my own parents. I don’t just mean the months of her cancer, but the years that she lived here in the same town. We were her only family, and we felt the need to care for her – and were glad to do it. There were many times, however, that I couldn’t be home with my own parents, and though I knew they understood, my heart missed them so much. Then when the serious illness hit my MIL, and the care was intense, I missed my parents even more – probably due to the increase of stress and emotion.

What made that time easier for me was the understanding of my parents. They never made me feel guilty for not coming home. They encouraged me in what I was doing. They prayed for me. They told me they understood…and they really did.

Now my mother-in-law is in heaven and I have no regrets. I know we did the right thing in caring for her. I know that even the sacrifice of the times I would have liked to have been in Kentucky was the right choice. Then the Lord graciously opened up the opportunity for me to go and visit my parents while my husband attended a men’s conference last weekend. He left on Thursday morning. An hour later, my car was headed towards Lexington. I was to come home on Saturday. Two days – not long, but I was glad to take it! Then the Lord sent SNOW! It was the treacherous traveling kind – especially on the mountain roads I’d have to drive on to get home. There was no question – I had to stay put. Sunday it snowed again. So I had two extra days to rest, visit with my parents, chat, attend church with them, and I even got help from my dad sewing my quilt squares together (he is a great ironer!). We had a sweet time together, and how I thank the Lord for giving me the desire of my heart at the time when my heart needed it so desperately!

There are two lessons here:

Obedience brings blessing. That’s not the reason we obey, but it is a by-product. God is a loving God, and He blesses us when we obey Him.
Parents that let go of their children are doing them a great service! If my parents had made me feel guilty, I’m not sure I could have dealt with it. They let go of me when I left home many years ago. They always welcome me when I’m able to come visit, but they have NEVER pressured me or given me a guilt trip over not being at a family event. They are obeying a biblical command – Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Genesis 2:24

Now, apply this to you –

If you’re being obedient, but having to let go of something else in the meantime, be patient. Keep obeying. In His time, the Lord will reward you.
If you’re a parent of a child who has left home – LET THEM GO! They have enough pressure in dealing with life without having to deal with trying to keep their parents happy with their decisions. Pray they’ll make right choices, then encourage them in what they’re doing rather than laying on a guilt trip because they can’t attend your family reunion, Grandma’s birthday or Sunday dinner. Be a parent who rests in a sovereign God and obeys His Word enough to let them leave and cleave.

I’m home now and feel rested and so very blessed by my God Who gives me what I do not deserve – blessings, sweet, godly parents, and time away!

What do you struggle with in regards to obedience? Do you have trouble letting go of your children? Or…Are you struggling with parents who have not cut the apron strings? How are you dealing with it? I’d love to hear.