Category: children

Child training · children · Grandparents · Parenting

That Special Child

RefreshHer2 Comments

This week I heard a message by Chuck Swindoll that just stopped me in my tracks. Part of the reason is because of the Truths of the Word of God that must be applied to my own life as I continue in sanctification. He spoke from Matthew 15 when Jesus was answering the question the disciples asked about who would be the greatest among them. Do you remember what Jesus did?

He brought a little child and set them in the middle of the group of disciples. He told them, If you want to enter the Kingdom of heaven, you must become like that little child ~

  • Unpretentious,
  • Full of trust
  • No agenda
  • No hidden desires
  • No secret sin
  • No guile
  • Authentic humility

Matthew 18 goes on to say ~

Beware that you don’t look down on any of these little ones.

It’s easy to look down on a child, isn’t it?
They can seem insignificant.
They can be difficult to deal with.
They are needy.

But Jesus values children. He says we must be like them to be saved. We admit our sinfulness like a child. We trust like a child. We love like a child.

Are you valuing the children in your life? Perhaps they are the children in your home. Maybe they’re your grandchildren. Are there children in your neighborhood? Do you bump into youngsters at church or the park or the grocery store?

Each one is important. Each one has special gifts. Each one has a need for Jesus. Do you see them? Do you take time to speak to them, to make them feel important and noticed? Or do you overlook them?

Then there are other children. Here’s what Chuck Swindoll says about them…

There are those who are weak and fragile and they can’t keep up.
Then you slow down. Take time for them. See the value in them. I love the scene where Jesus talks about future rewards and says,

Matthew 25:40 I was sick and you brought me something to eat. I was in prison and you visited me. I was thirsty and you brought me something cool to drink,

The one hearing it said,

When did we bring you something to eat, or see you in prison and visit you, and when did we bring you something cool to drink?
Jesus’ answer is,

Inasmuch as you’ve done it unto the least of these, you’ve done it unto Me.

Inasmuch as you’ve done it to these who couldn’t keep up,
these with special needs,
these with congenital brain damage,
these with physical conditions that hinder them from being able to run like the other children,
or to have coordinated bodies like other fast-moving and well-coordinated kiddos.
Guard against devaluing a child or discounting them.

Every child is precious to God. Every child is valuable just the way they were born. Don’t lessen their importance in your home – or in this very world. He or she may be just the one to turn this world upside down for Jesus Christ simply because of their “special-ness”.

Children have a way of reaching the hearts of people like none other. See them for the treasure they are and thank God that He brought them into your life so you could watch the things God will do through them and their unique gifts.

Let’s esteem children, every single one of them, as much as Jesus does.

How Do You Fill A Grandchild’s Day?
children · Grandparents

How Do You Fill A Grandchild’s Day?

RefreshHer8 Comments

Last week my daughter and son-in-law went out of town for a few days and they left their three year-old twin boys with me and my husband – known to the boys as “Gigi and Pappa.” This was super special for all of us because though the boys have spent a good deal of time at our house, they have never stayed overnight. I must admit that I was a little fearful about how this would all go down.  

  • Would they miss Mommy and Daddy and cry?  
  • Would we be able to keep them busy for three days?  
  • Would WE wear down before it was over?  
  • How would they do when darkness wrapped around their bedroom?  
  • Will they eat the food I prepare? 
  •  Will I run out of things to do?  
  • How will I maintain the structure they are used to?  

On and on the questions rolled in my head.  But I prayed and prepared much, and truly anticipated their time in our home.

I could be a typical grandparent and tell you how good they were, how they went to bed without any struggle, and that we all had so much fun…and that would all be true, but I must also admit that we got tired, and there were a couple times when there was  a bit of a struggle about who would be in control. There were several times I had to stop and pray with the boys. But in the end, Gigi and Pappa won, and each situation ended with smiles and happy hearts.

I’m no expert, for sure! I’m still learning, but today I’m writing this to encourage all grandmothers in two areas: 

  1. I want to remind you of the important role we play in our grandchildren’s lives and also our children’s lives!  We are to be a support. It’s so important that our children know we will uphold their rules and expectations in their absence.  If they’ve been working on immediate obedience and we allow the children to do what they want instead of what we ask, we’re doing both the children and their parents a huge disservice. We’re really making things harder for ourselves as well.  So, don’t cave in and be simply the doting grandmother, be a loving support in the training of those precious children.
  2. I also want to give a few ideas of things you can do with a young child that will fill their days with fun.  It’s been a long time since I’ve had a young child in my care for three days, so I gave it some real thought before they arrived so I would be ready.  I didn’t want there to be a time when we were trying to come up with ideas of something to do.  That spells disaster! 

    Now, on with the fun!!!
  • Let them help in the kitchen. Starting with the preparation of the meals to mixing up cookies, children love helping! My boys enjoyed helping to stir up the mac and cheese we had for lunch one day, adding the sauce and toppings to their homemade pizzas, and also setting the table.
  • Give them time for independent play. I had purchased a used set of wooden trains, planes and little village pieces and the boys enjoyed playing with them outside on our patio area. I was nearby, but I tried to encourage them to play together without my assistance.
  • Encourage time outside. I was always one of those moms who would send my girls outside to enjoy outside play. Whine as they might, they learned to love being outside, use their imaginations, and enjoy being outdoors. The fresh air and outdoor play also helps to tire little people out! The boys played in the swimming pool the Lord provided for us, “painted” with sponge brushes and a bucket of water, dug in the dirt of the raised beds, enjoyed wagon rides, played with sidewalk chalk, watered the garden, picked cherry tomatoes, and chased their shadows!
  • Make mealtime fun. I tried my best to make mealtime delicious and fun. The boys sat at the small table on our patio and ate some of their meals there while we sat on the patio furniture near them. I also tried to make foods I knew they liked. This isn’t the time to try new recipes or “weird” foods they have never tried.
  • Try to keep their normal routine. The boys are in bed by 7:00 when they’re home, so we did our best to follow suit. One night we forgot to sing, as they do with their mommy and daddy and one of the boys whimpered a little as we were tucking them in. He asked for a song, and of course we were happy to do that! His disposition immediately grew calm and he went right to sleep! Be sure to find out what their normal pattern is before bedtime. That little blanket, stuffed animal and bedtime story might be the key to helping ALL of you to get a good night’s rest!
  • Library books! Of course we know getting the books from the library can be a challenge right now, but I simply called in my list and picked them up! The boys enjoyed reading in the afternoon, and that quiet time was helpful for all of us!
  • Craft time – Most all children love using a glue stick! I had gotten The Pout Pout Fish (adorable book!) from the library, so we made a pout pout fish for our craft time.

Let me add one more important thought – in ALL the activities and talking you do with your grandchild, point them to Christ. Talk about the Lord. Pray with them over needs and burdens and cares. I have some special memories tucked in my heart regarding prayer times with the boys. Oh, how their faith in what God can do puts me to shame! What a joy to take them to the Throne of Grace!

I hope these ideas will get your creative juices flowing so you can enjoy a sweet time with your grandchildren. I was really thankful that when their parents came to get them, the boys said they wanted to stay longer! They went home, but I was thankful that our time together was special enough to make them want to come back, and that happened without breaking any of their home rules!

What ideas could you add to this list?

Refresh your time with your grandchildren by having fun and supporting their parents at the same time!

Here’s a post about helping your children become more independent, which is what we must be teaching them to do! Remember, you’re training them to become adults!

children · Motherhood · refreshment at home

Mom, Show Love To Your Child

RefreshHer6 Comments

This week were some great reminders to slow down and take one day at a time. Being a Gigi is a blessing because I can stop everything I’m doing and just be with my grandsons.  When my girls were home, it wasn’t possible to do that every day!  There were meals to cook, laundry to wash, floors to sweep, school lessons to prepare and a million other things!  I was a busy woman, just like you, Momma.  Do you ever wish it was different?

It’s easy for moms to wish away their child’s life.

“Things will be so much easier when she’s walking!”  “I can’t wait for her to start pre-school.”  “I’ll be glad when these terrible 3’s are over!”

And so on.  Each day as a mom is challenging, but you can’t imagine how fast it will be before you attend their high school graduation and are staring into the face of a young adult.

I’m not kidding.

Everyone tells you those things, and you nod and smile because you’re going home to a toddler who will have wet their pants for the fifth time today, poured their finger paints into the toilet, and refused to eat a bite of anything because they consumed a whole bag of potato chips while hiding in the pantry!  But trust me, friend, the years will fly by and they will be gone.  Graduated.  Married.  On their own.

And you won’t lose your marbles about all that IF you spent those 18 years or so loving them, spending time with them, and teaching them about your Jesus to the best of your abilities.  Oh, you will know that you made lots of mistakes, but you know those are covered by God’s grace, and with that, you are okay!

In the meantime, you have today.  What will you do with it?  How about just love on those little and big ones?  How?  Let me give you a few suggestions:

  • Show loving gestures – hugs, pecks on the cheek, a pat on their back, a hand squeeze
  • Spend time playing with them each day.
    • Play a game
    • Go outside and push them on the swings
    • Ride bikes with them
    • Play store, library, or Sunday school
    • Have a scavenger hunt
    • Bake together
    • Work in the yard together
    • Work on a dinner for Dad together
    • Take a walk
    • Jump rope
    • Blow bubbles outside
    • Help them with homework.
      Just be together each day.
  • Leave notes of encouragement.  Write on their mirror with dry erase, or leave a sticky note where they’ll find it.  Leave a note in their lunch.  Mail a card to them.
  • Allow one child to stay up late for time with both Mom and Dad once a week.
  • Have a bed time routine that is special.  Tuck them in.  Read a book or Scripture.  Sing a song.  Pray with them about their concerns.
  • Do a chore they are assigned as a gesture of love.
  • Stop and pray with them in the day about something that is troubling them.
  • Talk to them and sing to them about Jesus!
  • Love their daddy!
So love on those children God’s given you and enjoy the day.  You don’t want to regret tomorrow what you wished you had done yesterday!
How do you show your child you love them?
 
With love,

denise a

children · Motherhood · Parenting

Why Talking Isn’t Enough In Child Training

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Imagine yourself walking along with your child in a grassy field.  As you walk across the deep growth, you hear a noise.  You look a few feet in front of you and see the source of the sound – a rattle snake shaking its tail, ready to strike a venomous blow.

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You stop your child, point towards the reptile and say,

That is a rattlesnake!  Rattlesnakes are poisonous.  They can hurt or kill you.

Then you proceed forward with your planned walk, leaving your child and yourself open to true danger.

You’re shaking your head right now because you know you would hever do that.  You know that on sight of the poisonous snake, you would REMOVE both your child AND yourself from its presence just as quickly as possible.  Even if your child didn’t understand what was happening and didn’t want to leave, you would drag him off, knowing you were saving him from sure disaster.

Now let me ask you – if you would do that with a snake, why won’t you do that with your child’s sin?  What is keeping you from doing whatever is necessary to get them away from their sinful/deadly behaviour?

So often I see parents look at their child after they’ve disobeyed, spoken disrespectfully or been defiant and say something that sounds like the parent describing the poisonous snake –

That is not nice.

Those are ugly words!

You are not obeying!

Then they continue to walk towards “the snake.”  No action is taken to stop the forward movement – the continuation of their sin!

Proverbs 29:15 reminds us how to train a child to “run away from the snake.”

The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings his mother to shame.

You can use words to teach, but it needs another element added to it to get the lesson across – it’s a rod, a paddle.  Loving, firm discipline connnected with teaching them what God’s Word says about their sin is the only way to get them to understand the danger of going their own way.  Words alone will not get the job done because children are foolish.

Proverbs 22:15 – Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

This is what God tells us! He made our children and He knows their sinful hearts.   Why do we think we can try to discipline another way – a way that eliminates a spanking?  No one enjoys having to spank their child, but the end result is rest (v. 17).

After the rod AND reproof are given, your child will be on the lookout for snakes himself because he doesnt’ want to “get bitten” again.

To really love your child, you must care enough to not only point out their sinful behaviour, but punish them when it shows itself.  Don’t leave that child on their own.  God gave them a parent to teach and train them…and that blessed person is YOU.  Be on the lookout for the poisonous snakes in their path!

With love,