As girls, we grew up reading stories with happy endings. The prince rides off with his princess and they live happily ever after. At least that’s what we hope will happen. We’re now at the end of the story of Abigail and it seems that in a way Abigail’s story does have an fairy tale ending…or does it?

In I Samuel 25, we see that Abigail’s husband Nabal has died. David is rejoicing because God had avenged him of Nabal’s insults. What will be the response of others when we die? Will there be great rejoicing because another foolish person has been taken out of the lives of those that have had to suffer because of us? Or will the hearts of those that knew us mourn as Samuel was mourned at the beginning of the chapter?

In verses 40-42 David has sent messengers to Abigail’s home. They went with a simple message. It is not quite a proposal of marriage, but more like a summons. “David has sent us to you to take you as his wife.” This decisive woman doesn’t have to be asked twice! Quickly she bows to the ground, humbly accepting the offer. She does not look on herself as David’s queen, but as his maidservant, who will happily wash the feet of his servants. Again, we see her humble heart. She “hasted” to follow the men and become David’s wife.

This is the fourth time the word, hasted is used referring to Abigail’s response to something. We see it in verses 18, 23, 34, and 42. This was a woman who didn’t waste any time when she knew what she should do. Oh, that we would be so quick to follow when the Lord leads us. We need to be quick to share the Gospel, quick to encourage, quick to supply a need, quick to obey.

Now Abigail marries the man whom she had kept from bloodshed. Her discernment had kept him safe. Abigail’s wisdom enables her to be an intimate companion and counselor to her husband. As a wife, our godly discernment should be a blessing to our husband. As a woman our godly discernment should be a blessing to our children, our co-workers, and neighbors.

At this point, the story does seem like a fairy-tale ending. She gets to marry this handsome man who will soon be king! We can almost see them riding off into the sunset. You might feel as if you’re married to a Nabal, a fool, an insensitive person, and then a “David” comes along. He’s a nice caring, loving person and you start thinking of how Abigail ended up with David. Don’t go there. Abigail doesn’t do the things she does hoping that Nabal will keel over and she’ll end up with David. Her actions are done to save her family. Don’t give up on your home. Don’t give up on your marriage. If Abigail had wanted Nabal dead she wouldn’t have stopped David when he was on the warpath, but she stopped him! Do what you can to save your family. If judgement is needed remind yourself that God is in control. He is in the heavens and He will do as He pleases. Psalm 115:3

Tomorrow we’ll look down the path of Abigail’s marriage to David and see if it was really as fairy-tale like as it seemed.

The other night I was with a young mother who was talking about how busy her days are. She said, “I don’t even remember what I did with my time before I had my children. I truly do not!” I tried to encourage her that though it seems like this task is never-ending, it will soon pass. I should know. I’m staring at the back door to our nest. You know, it’s the one you open and watch as your child flies out of so they can go to college, or follow wherever the Lord leads them.

This Friday we’ll take our youngest to begin her freshman year at a Christian college. Everyone says it, but no one has an answer to the question: Where did all those years go? It seems like one minute you’re holding their hand while they cross the street with you, baby doll under one arm and a blankie under the other, and the next thing you know their arms are laden with the baggage needed to take them to college. Oh yes, there were all those days in between, but they’re a blur.

Did I teach my daughter enough about how she needs to rely on the Lord for every little thing? Does she have Scriptures tucked in her heart because I taught them to her? Does she know enough about her God to help her to stand when she’s questioned about her faith? Have I trained her in such a way that her godly character will shine for the Lord’s glory? Does she know that there’s nothing more valuable than walking with God and serving Him? Does she know how empty the things of the world are and how rich she is in Christ? Does she know that I love her unconditionally…that I’d give my life for her? Will she remember the fun times that we had in our home, or will the times I messed up and blew it as a mom be at the forefront of her memories of home life? I don’t know…only the Lord does. In the meantime I continue to pray for her:

Colossians 1:9-12
9For this cause we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to desire that ye might be filled with the knowledge of his will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding;
10That ye might walk worthy of the Lord unto all pleasing, being fruitful in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God;
11Strengthened with all might, according to his glorious power, unto all patience and longsuffering with joyfulness;
12Giving thanks unto the Father, which hath made us meet to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in light:

Yes, if the Lord will answer this request in the form of these verses, my life as a mother will be full and blessed.

I’ve shared that passage with other mothers who desire their children walk with God. I encourage you, dear friend to pray this passage for your family. God will hear. God will answer. Let’s unite our hearts around the throne and be encouraged as moms. Whether you’re at the beginning of this calling or watching the last one fly away as I am, let’s be committed to pray this Scripture and watch what God will do.

Recently I was sitting outside on a bench of a shopping area waiting on my family. It was relatively quiet until all of the sudden a car alarm began to blare, blast, and blow. This alarm was different than others I have heard. It didn’t just go, “HONK, HONK, HONK!” The alarm gave several different kinds of honks with the horn, then it would change and do something altogether different. In between the types of honking sounds it would give four gentle taps with the horn. I half expected a marching band to come parading out of the back seat!

It was to be expected because I have daughters – boys are in my house! Thus, boys will occupy their lives and our home. This weekend our younger daughter turns 18, so her “friend” is here to help celebrate. His brother is also here, occupied with Allison’s friend (convenient!). Our older daughter will be coming for the Bristol race this weekend and is bringing her boyfriend along. While I’m keeping an eye on every room, I also feel like everywhere I turn I’m intruding! It’s okay – I was there myself one day, and it’s only to be expected. How thankful I am that they’re all here in our home, enjoying the deck swing, and the living room spaces.

I’ve had some interesting conversations recently with young women who are dating. Here are some questions they’ve asked:

“Do all the things that are fun at first get old and boring after a while?”

They do only if you let them. A couple has to work on their marriage every day – you can’t put it on auto-pilot. Keep your minds thinking about ways you can demonstrate your love for one another. Continue to date. Communicate. Have fun, just like in the early days of your relationship.

“Do you get tired of keeping a house?”

No. I know the Lord gave me the desire of my heart in letting me stay at home as a housewife. This is where I find my greatest fulfillment. I love to make our home a special place for my husband and family. Keeping it clean and decorated is one way I can demonstrate my love for my husband.

“Do you just get used to each other after a while?”

For women it’s crucial to think right. If I focus on the negative things about my husband, then that’s how I’ll respond – negatively. If I focus on the things that drew me to him in the first place, and the positive things, my love is pure and right instead of selfish and focused on my needs, likes and dislikes. I need to keep admiring him for the new things I see in him so it continues to get better than it ever was!

Young women are watching the married couples and wondering if marriage is all they’ve dreamed of. What is your marriage showing the world? As we get older, our love should mature. It’s easy for it to go just the opposite way when we get upset over petty issues and treat each other like school children would, instead of adults.

This week I overheard my husband having a conversation on the phone. He was encouraging a friend that was down. There was a lilt in his voice. He was upbeat and happy. I recalled that just hours before he’d been discouraged and down. I knew what had brought the change – me. I don’t say that in an egotistical way, I’m certainly a nobody to anyone else, but to my husband I am important. My encouragement in his life is HUGE to him! I had expressed my support of him, my love for him, and my knowledge of how God was using him. Like a helium balloon getting a refill of air, I could see him standing tall again. Now he was passing his encouragement on to the caller on the phone.

I don’t think wives realize the sway we have on our husbands. We should never use that in a wrong way, but understand the gravity of how much our support means to our husband. If we believe in him and what God has called him to do, he can move mountains! He’s ready to take on any hard task…if only his wife backs him up. We can do that with our words, by telling him and by bragging on him to others (within his ear shot). We can do that with our body language – a nod, wink, or a squeeze.

Make your marriage a testimony – not only to your children who are watching and wondering if marriage is worth it, but also to a lost world. May they see in us something different; something to which you would give your whole life.

Excuse me now, I need to do another room check! Boys are in my house!