I read a book a couple of years ago that really opened my eyes. It was entitled, For Women Only, by Shaunti Feldhan. I would highly recommend it to you . It covers topics about which the author surveyed men. It talks about how important respect is to them, how truly fragile their ego is, why men are clueless sometimes about romance and a couple of other interesting topics. But the one chapter that was an eye-opener to me was entitled, “Keeper of the Visual Rolodex.” This chapter dealt with the fact that men are visual. We may have heard that phrase, but as women it’s hard for us to really comprehend what that means, and what effect it has on men.
Seventy-six of the men that were surveyed said that if a woman with a good figure walks in the room they struggle with not looking at her. They then have a mental picture of her in their mind that can pop up at any moment and they’ll have to deal with the thoughts that accompany the picture. As women we may say, “well, they just need to deal with it.” “That’s disgusting!” They have a problem!” But if we deal with this on a biblical basis we must understand that just as the Lord made women to be “touch orientated” men are sight-orientated. It’s a struggle they deal with every single day.
The society that we live in contributes to the difficulty that men face. The spandex tops, scooped necklines, or necklines with the deep V, are all factors that reveal flesh. Mix that with below waistline jeans and short skirts and the battle is doubled. But it’s not just at the mall that flesh is revealed – it’s also at church. Unthinking women buy a dress or top without checking it out before walking out the door, and they unknowingly bring the immodesty of the world into the sanctuary. It’s not my desire to be a legalist about this; this topic is one of a woman being virtuous and discreet; concerned enough not to cause a man to sin in his heart because of what she is wearing.
Can I encourage you after you have dressed (or better yet, when you’re trying something on in the dressing room) bend over in front of the mirror. Does the dress or top open up and reveal your flesh? Does the neckline reveal cleavage? Does the small of your back show? If so, then either layer another top underneath or don’t wear it.
If we are to help the men around us to be godly, then it’s our responsibility to dress modestly. They struggle enough in the world…let’s not make it difficult at church too. Let’s be women that champion modesty. Be examples of modesty yourself and teach it to your daughters. Let’s not be “fodder for the mental Rolodex just because of how we dress.”
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Cherish the Moments
Yesterday my husband and I attended the funeral for Sandra Binney – a woman whose husband has had a huge impact in our lives through his preaching and counseling. Sandra was his dear help meet behind the scenes keeping him organized and put together. She presented a lovely home and surroundings not only for their lives, but for all those that would spend time with Dr. Binney in counseling. For more than forty years they served the Lord faithfully in a very busy schedule of full-time ministry.
The Lord called her home on Sunday and now Dr. Binney is resting in his God, but is honest about the great longing in his heart for her soft touch and for her presence near him in the middle of the night. My heart aches for him today. I know God’s grace will be sufficient, but the grief one endures at the loss of a mate must be overwhelming.
I read in my devotions this week this verse from Psalm 90 – “So teach us to number our days that we may apply our hearts to wisdom.” If we really understood how short our time with our spouse is, would we get so irritated at the little annoyances, or would we, in wisdom, let it pass? What other wisdom would be ours if we could glimpse into the future and see that our time as a couple is so very brief? Perhaps we would say “I love you” more often. Angry words would probably be fewer and we wouldn’t think of leaving home without a kiss and hug. I believe we’d listen better and spend more time doing things just for fun.
If you’re single and are waiting for the Lord to being a mate along. Listen to this post from YouTube and the testimony at the end to encourage you to wait on the Lord. If you’re married or have had the privilege of having a godly husband, you can agree with the song this gentleman, Bruce Frye is singing on the song I’m posting here, “I Do.”
Do I believe in miracles? I do.
The Lord has blessed my life with you.
By his grace we’ve both been saved.
This is a union God has made.
Do I believe in miracles? I do!
I thank the Lord for my husband…I do!
The Generation After Them
All in one week I received copies of these old photos. They were both taken nearly fifty years ago. I say nearly because I turned 50 this year and I was three in the picture on the top. The other picture is a photo of my husband’s parents and their nephew and was taken a little more than 50 years ago. As I look at these photos I think about the dreams and ambitions of our parents at that time. Knowing them as I do, I know that it was their earnest desire to have a home and family that would please the Lord. Their prayer was that their children would be saved and then live for the Lord. Praise the Lord, the next generation has done just that. By God’s grace, all their children and grandchildren are walking with the Lord at this time – what a blessing. What a heritage!As I read this morning in Judges 2 I read about the Israelites that had disobeyed the Lord in not driving out the enemies from the land. They allowed them to live among them and turn their hearts away from their God. Verse 10 says, “And also all that generation were gather unto their fathers: and there arose another generation after them, which knew not the Lord, nor yet the works which he had done for Israel.” It’s not enough to me that I’m saved and my children know the Lord, but also that my grandchildren to come would also trust in Him. When I read that verse this morning my heart cried out, “Oh Lord, don’t let that be said of my girls or their children! Keep them close to you. Help my girls to train their children to love you.” My girls aren’t even married yet, but it’s not too soon to pray for the next generation. I’ve heard preachers say that they won’t consider their parenting effective until they see what their grandchildren do. In other words, if their children pass on the Truths of salvation and sanctification, they will see that their teaching has truly influenced the lives of their children.
I often pray Colossians 1:9-14 for my children; if you have grandchildren pray it for them. God honors His Word and loves to hear it being prayed to Him. When you pray this passage you’re asking the Lord to:
- fill them with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding.
- help your children to walk worthy of the Lord unto all pleasing
- allow them to be fruitful in every good work
- help them to increase in the knowledge of God
- strengthen them with all might by his glorious power
- give them patience and longsuffering with joyfulness
I pray that years from now when my family looks at our old photos they will be able to rejoice that the generations that followed that “old couple” are still loving and serving the Lord…that is my greatest desire as a mother. What a treasure that would be! It will only come by living it consistently and by much prayer. Lord, help me to faithfully do both.”
Lessons from a Testimony – Part 2
Continued from yesterday’s post
You’ve probably heard the saying, “Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” How should a believer respond to tragedy or shocking news? We must remember the truth about our God and rest in those truths. That does not mean we cannot cry or feel emotions, it means that we must keep our actions based upon the solid Rock of Truth.
As Carol and her husband, Jeff sat before their pastor he told them that a girl in their Christian school was accusing Jeff of molestation. Carol was sure her husband was innocent. They both figured this girl had some wild imagination and denied the charges. However, after a couple of sleepless nights, Jeff woke Carol in the middle of the night and confessed to this immoral act – and others. Carol was in shock, but determined they would work through this together. A couple days later Jeff was missing. Under the pressure of the guilt of his sin and the legal ramifications Jeff ended his own life. Carol was now left to move on alone, with their two children and bearing another child in her womb. That was thirteen years ago.
Through this tragedy Carol had to come to a place of utmost dependence on God. She now had no one else to turn to – no one to lean on but her Savior, and she has always found that He is enough. She ended up moving back to Northland Bible College (now called Northland International University) where she began teaching ladies’ Bible and counseling classes. The Lord has also given her many opportunities to speak to women at conferences, such as the retreat at The Wilds this past weekend.
As I listened to Carol speak I saw a woman who has entrenched herself in God’s Word. She knows the Bible and therefore she knows her God! She lived it before us as she shared with us in the last session that she had gotten a call from her mother that afternoon. She had called to tell her that her sister had committed suicide that day. Our hearts broke as she also shared that her sister was not saved. I wondered how I would have responded had I been in her place. I think there would have been a strong desire to pack my things and leave camp to run home to be with my family. But here she was, finishing her responsibilities at this retreat, quietly resting in God’s sovereign care. What a precious testimony of resting in the Truth.
Interesting, isn’t it, that she ended up living in the very place that she had complained about? The word here is surrender. This is where God wanted her, and now she is yielded to His will – not her own.
Women tend to look at a woman like Carol standing before them speaking and ask, “How could I have a ministry like that? I’d love to speak to groups of women!” A ministry of that sort isn’t pursued…it’s placed upon a woman that has gone through the school of trials and come through shining with the degree of Grace. While we thank the Lord for what she taught us, we must all realize that the Lord is wanting to do the same kind of refining in each of our lives so that we can influence those that are around us each day. I’ll end with a quote from Carol – “We can’t produce, but we can influence.” Whose life will you influence for godliness today because you are resting in the Truth?
Lessons from a Testimony
I will praise thee, O Lord my God with all my heart: and I will glorify thy name for evermore. For great is thy mercy toward me and thou hast delivered my soul from the lowest hell. Psalm 86:12, 13
For anyone who has trusted Christ as their Savior these verses could be our prayer. The Lord has delivered us from so much – the bondage of sin, the fear of death, a hopeless existence and from hell. Some people realize even greater what they have been delivered from because they came to Christ later in life. Such is the case with Carol Trahan.
Carol was a college student that lived for this world, for pleasure and for herself. She was a bright student that had ambitions to be a doctor. To those watching her it would be easy to assume she had no desire for spiritual things. She scoffed at the Gospel and the existence of God, yet in her heart she knew something was missing in her life. She recalls reading a banner with a Scripture verse on it hung by the Christian organization on campus, and how it pricked her heart. She remembers those that shared the Gospel with her, and though she outwardly resisted, her heart was being tendered towards turning towards the Savior. She carefully watched the lives of those that called themselves Christians. Several times she found herself in church, just to please someone and would leave after the invitation all the time trembling with the realization that she needed to be saved. It was a roommate that shared the Gospel with her and led Carol again to church where she heard the Gospel again and finally surrendered and was saved.
As Carol shared her salvation experience with us, I was reminded of some that I’m praying will be saved that seem so hardened towards the Gospel. They’re just like Carol was. But I am encouraged to hear that she was effected by the witnesses around her – a verse on a banner, the words spoken by a concerned person, a message preached. If you’re praying for an unsaved person, don’t give up because they seem so disinterested. The Spirit of God is working in the place we cannot see – their heart. Keep loving, keep being a faithful Christian witness, keep giving the Truth to them. They may not say it, but they are listening and taking it all in!
The Lord doesn’t promise us that surrendering to Him after salvation will be easy, and it wasn’t for Carol. When the Lord called her husband to minister at Northland Bible College and she had to leave her home in California she became bitter and complaining. After two years of struggling with his wife’s contentious heart, her husband said they would go back to California. Though she now had exactly what she wanted, she was miserable because she knew she was out of the will of God. The Lord allowed her to work as secretary in their church and one day she came across a message on tape that convicted her heart of its rebellion. She confessed her sin to God and began on the road to freedom and blessing.
However, while she was coming back to the Lord she had no idea that her husband had been drifting away. She found this out in a horrific way – one day their pastor called Carol and her husband into his office to share with them some allegations brought against Carol’s husband. Surely this was a mistake.
Is this not a warning to each of us that is married? We have such a huge influence on our husbands. We can either be a blessing to them by coming alongside to aid them in whatever God has called them to do, or we can make them so miserable by our griping, complaining, and contentious spirits that they quit. Our sin can influence our husband to drift as well, and there will be a price to pay. No wife can make her husband sin – it’s his choice, but we sure can influence him! The Lord used this in my own life to rebuke me for wanting my own way too often. We forget that we are the helper – not the leader. It is our responsibility to submit and follow, even in a day when that is not a popular thought. Blessing will be ours when we obey.
…continued tomorrow.
RefreshHer 
