Gifts · Parenting

The Most Valuable Gift – You!

With our grandson’s birthdays approaching, the question in our minds was,

“What can we give them that will be meaningful?”

If we had asked them, their answer would have been another leggo set or some other favorite toy that is on their list, which would have been fun, of course! However, as we considered our choices, we decided we would rather spend time with them. Also, being a twin myself, I also decided that we would have them one at a time, rather than together so we could focus on each boy.

As I prayed about it, I asked the Lord what we could do that each of them would enjoy. The results were a passel full of memories made and such sweet times together!

Continue reading “The Most Valuable Gift – You!”
children · Encouragement · Family life · Motherhood · Parenting

Firm, Fair, Fun Parenting

This week I want to continue on with the parenting series in the form of some encouragement.  I know it can be difficult and wearisome when they’re small.  Teen years can seem to last forever with attitudes or questions about your choices.  Even the adult years of children can be challenging and stressful.  For that reason, we all need to have a biblical view of parenting – from the beginning to the end.  Let’s dig in and get some good advice from God’s Word to keep us faithful to this blessed call of building our children for the glory of God!

Obviously parenting is a daily responsibility, and sometimes it can get overwhelming.  Other days it’s discouraging because the children don’t seem like they’re “getting it.”  We then fall into a disheartened mode which also influences the rest of our family.

May I encourage you on your parenting road today?

I heard a preacher recently say that in parenting you need to:

  • Be Firm
  • Be Fair
  • Be Fun

All three are needed.

Be firm – Say what you mean and then follow through.  Don’t promise a spanking for disobedience and then not carry it out when you get home.  That kind of neglect takes a  huge amount of effort to undo.  If you’ve set a curfew for your teen, expect them to honor it.

Be fair – Too often we hit the first one strong and hard.  We’re firm.  “No!” “No!” “No!” at every request, every attempt the child makes, at every word they say.  But stop and ask if you’re also being fair.
What does “being fair” entail?  Being fair requires really listening. Proverbs 18:13 says,

He that answereth a matter before he heareth it,

it is a folly and shame unto him.

 Did you hear your child out completely before you answered them?  Do you understand where they’re coming from?  Or did you cut them off? If the teen was late for curfew, let them speak before you discipline.  Hear them out.  There may be a viable reason for their tardiness.   If we’re wise, we will obey the Scripture above and hear them out.  Let them know you care about what they have to say and that they are worth listening to.
Be fun – Lastly, we need to take time out for fun.  If things are stressful in homeschool, drop the books and do something just for fun!  If there’s been tons of stress in relationships, add a dose of something everyone will enjoy.
  • Go on a picnic for lunch.
  • Build a fort in the backyard.
  • Eat ice cream sundaes for supper.
  • Go shopping for sunglasses with your teen daughter and have lunch at her favorite place.
  • Learn to laugh – long and hard with your children
  • Isn’t it easy to scowl?  Let your kids see you smiling- and at them!

Firm, fair, fun.  If those words don’t describe your parenting, ask the Lord to help you incorporate the needed areas into your home today!

Which of these three areas is hardest for you?

With love,

Christian love

Do You Despise Your Mother?!

Sarcastic, disrespectful children – it’s a bit shocking to hear, isn’t it?  Ugly words get hurled, like mud balls on the playground creating much more disaster than a load of laundry.  But who are the children?  Who are their parents? I’m not referring to teens and their 40-somethings mom and dad.  I’m talking about grown adults who are hurling the words and attitudes at their elderly parents.

Perhaps it started when the parents got sick and needed special help from their children.  Maybe it began when one of the parents died, leaving just one – alone, struggling, hurting and needy. It cuts into the world and time of a busy adult already struggling with other issues of their own children, marriage and jobs.  This creates pressures and sometimes also causes wrong responses and attitudes towards the people we love and should care for the most.

Our loving God, who knows what happens in families, put a Scripture in Proverbs to remind us to guard our hearts, and to treat our aging parents with love, respect and care.

Why would a child have the temptation to “despise their mother when she is old?”  She may:

  • Be in pain and be “short” with her responses
  • Be low in finances and be very frugal, to the point that you’d be tempted to shake your head
  • Be worried about health issues and be discouraged
  • Be lonely and need your company more often
  • Be sick and need your care
  • Be forgetful and need your helpful reminders of things, appointments, places and belongings
  • Be hard of hearing and need you to repeat yourself more than once

All of the above mentioned reasons could very well test a person’s patience, but let’s face it, when we were young children at her feet, did we not test her patience?  Did she not give us extra attention when we needed it? Why then would we despise her for her needs?

It’s no mistake that the Lord, the Giver of our parents, placed this Scripture in His Word because He knew there would be a temptation for some to “despise” their mom at a time when she may need her children’s understanding and love the most.  Don’t allow the changes that have come to your parents in their latter years to build resentment towards them.  Love them they way that you would want to be treated.  After all, you will indeed reap what you sow.

Lovingly,

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