In this post I talked about appreciating the differences between ourselves and our husbands. My little preference was about the shower bottles’ lids being closed. I even said that my husband had no idea that that bothered me! Every day when I cleaned the shower, I would simply snap his shampoo and body wash lids back down, but I never said anything to him about it.
Ever since then his bottles have been shut tighter than a toddler’s teeth at supper time! Yep, he read my post and took it on himself to take care of that tiny issue! (How sweet is that?!) What did it take? Communication.
Nugget #1 ~ When there are things that bother you, lovingly speak up.
I’m clearly not talking about little pet peeves like mine; I’m talking about things that would really cause a rift in your relationship. Many times things go on and on simply because we don’t share it with our spouse. Either we think he should know it (!) or we’re afraid to tell him. Sharing what’s on your heart might not remedy the issue immediately, but at least you can get it out there where it can be discussed and prayed about, and possibly have a conclusion decided upon very quickly.
When I was changing our sheets this week, I noticed that the top hem was really wrinkled. I started to continue to make the bed and then I remembered that I usually always iron the guest bed. Then I had another thought I needed to make our sheets pretty, too.
Nugget *2 – Never do for others and neglect your husband.
If he’s our priority (and he should be), we won’t want to forget to show him the special kindness that we do for other people. Right now perhaps we’re thinking of thoughtful things we can do for our friends and family, but have you considered what special gesture you could do for your husband? Need a few suggestions?
~Be quick to respond with a positive word when he suggests taking a walk, a drive in the country or doing a project in or around your home.
~Make meal time special by setting the table and/or fixing one of his favorite foods.
~Look your best by simply getting ready each day. That doesn’t mean you have to dress to the nine’s, but put on a little make up and put on real clothes – something as simple as jeans and a cute shirt with the addition of a necklace or earrings.
Nugget #3 – Don’t let a day go by without sharing your words of love and encouragement to your spouse. Whether it’s a hand-written note, a text or spoken words, say it! He needs to HEAR what is in your heart. He’ll think about those words all day long and it will keep that connection between you strong. Tell him how you’re praying for him or how you admire how he’s guiding your family through these days, or what you love most about him!
Nugget #4 – Give each other a little space. If you are finding yourselves at home together lots more than normal because one or both of you are now working from home, allow time and space for one another.
Take a walk alone.
Find a corner of your house to read God’s Word and pray on your own and allow your husband that same privilege.
Respect his need for quiet. Work on a project in another area of the house while he’s reading or working.
You might even take a drive by yourself so you can both have the blessing of some solitude.
These times “apart” will make the reuniting a blessing.
Nugget #5 – Forgive. For those times when frustrations cause difficulties to pop up, remember that our marriage is to picture the Gospel. We can’t get past the blessing of being forgiven all our sin when we think of our own salvation. As we have been forgiven, so must we forgive. How? Picture yourself in front of the cross and remember your own guilt, but then Jesus’ words – “Father, forgive them…” We were guilty, but He remembers our sin no more. They are buried in the deepest sea. We must do the same with the offence we have suffered. Make it right with one another and also talk with the Lord about it. He cares about your marriage even more than you do!
Oh that our homes could reflect communication, service, love, consideration and forgiveness during hard times when our enemy would love to disrupt more than our social lives. By God’s grace they can.
Which nugget do you need to practice?
Refresh your marriage so it’s stronger after Covid 19 than it was before!