Biblical Womanhood · Mentoring

Teaching Sound Doctrine

This is the series, Adorned. We are highlighting the book, Adorned, by Nancy Wolgemuth. You can listen to this post here on the Refresh Her Podcast.

Did you go to church last Sunday?  Did you read your Bible today?  Did you treat your neighbors kindly or go out of your way to make things right after you and
your spouse were at odds?  Why did you do those things?  Because of the soil in which you are planted.  Let me explain ~ 

I love having raised beds in my backyard.  In them I grow a variety of herbs and vegetables.  When we first added the beds to our backyard, my husband made sure to get the right kind of potting soil so that the plants would grow.  We know that all plants have to have some kind of dirt to grow in, and while I don’t know all the scientific facts about my garden, I do know that my plants need good soil that is full of rich nutrients.  A pile of dirt, or a ton full of sand won’t work.  Having a good harvest starts with good soil.

When we talk about being a mentor or a discipler of a younger woman, we understand the “what” of our task.  The Lord has told us to teach – that’s what we are to do.  However, the next question is What are we to teach?  Usually older women ask that with a fearful look on their face, because they don’t think they have anything to tell a younger woman, but be relieved, Paul gives clear direction in Titus 2 – 

But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine.

We are to teach sound doctrine.

You may ask, “Woah!  Wait!  Doctrine?  Isn’t that some deep, theological word preachers use?  What does that have to do with teaching a younger woman?”

Let’s start by defining the word.  Doctrine is simply What we believe.  Everyone lives by some sort of doctrine.  Even an unbeliever in Christ has doctrine that they live by.  In her book, Adorned, Nancy Wolgemuth quotes a man who said,

“At our church, we don’t preach doctrine.  We just love Jesus.”

Perhaps this man’s church doesn’t teach doctrine, but they do have some, and they are living it out, as each of us is.
Nancy says,

“Doctrine is the soil that provides the context for growing character.” 

Just like the soil in my raised beds enables my herbs and vegetables to grow and be beautiful, right doctrine will enable us to adorn the Gospel that saved us.  We will be able to show a watching world how wonderful it is to know Christ’s character and to live a life following His Word. 

It’s important to remember that Paul says we need not just any doctrine, but sound doctrine. We must be planted in the Truth.  That Truth is found in God’s Word and it must be the foundation that gives us deep roots as a believer. 

If the doctrine is bad, what kind of fruit will it produce?  Bad fruit.

Let’s answer two big questions in this post ~ Let’s answer the “Why?” and “How?”

#1 Why do we have to teach doctrine? What’s the big deal about teaching sound doctrine?
Why is it important?  Can’t we just jump to how I’m supposed to love my husband? Can’t we just talk about how to be a Christian woman?
Doctrine is important because all the things we think and do are connected to what we believe about our God.

Wrong thinking and behavior all stem from wrong thoughts about God. That means if we can help a woman have the RIGHT thoughts about her God, her thinking and her behavior will both change!

Our feelings aren’t the boss of us; our Bible doctrines are!

  • If a woman believes that after she’s saved she’s on Easy Street, how will she survive when hardships come?
  • If a woman believes that she needs to work to stay saved, she’ll come close to dying an early death trying to do enough to please God.
  • If a woman fails to understand that Christ lives in her after salvation, she will fail to see that she can have His victory over the sin to which she feels in bondage.
  • If a woman doesn’t know that she’s secure in Christ, she will live a life of fear and insecurity.
  • If a wife doesn’t feel in love with her husband any more, she will think the best thing is to leave the relationship.

However, when women learn Bible doctrine that applies to their lives and to their roles as women, they live lives that show the beauty of the Gospel!  When we do this, we will be living lives that are radically different from the unsaved world.  

Question #2 – How will we learn Bible doctrine?  We learn it as we read God’s Word. We learn it as we sit in a church that teaches sound doctrine.  This is the watering of the soil.  We must put ourselves in places where we will learn the solid meat of what the Bible says, rather than the fluff that sounds good but has no substance.  

When we don’t act on the Bible’s solid foundation, it’s  because we have either not been taught it, or we know it and are not living accordingly.  When either one of those are true, we will have wrong thinking and wrong actions.  However,

Right doctrine is so freeing! 
Right doctrine is applicational to our everyday lives!
Right doctrine is beautiful because it reflects the nature of our God.

Nancy says, “Our ultimate purpose is to make much of God.  We do that as we experience, enjoy and reflect the loveliness of Christ, making Him known to a world that is starved for true beauty.”

Do you know Bible doctrine?  Do you know what the Bible teaches about salvation?  Eternal security?  Forgiveness of sin after salvation? A short study of four essential doctrines of salvation is The Exchange.  This would be a great place to start!

Friends…

  1. We need to know sound doctrine so we can grow.
  2. We need to know sound doctrine so we can think and react biblically!
  3. We need to know sound doctrine so we can teach it to another woman.

If you want to go a little deeper in this study…

  • Start keeping a notebook: What I know about My God. 
    Every time you read a verse that tells about God’s character, write down the character trait and its reference.  For example, God chooses not to remember my sin.  Psalm 103:12 As far as the east is from the west, so far hath He removed our transgressions from us.
  • Memorize Titus 2:3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;

Now that you’ve read/listened, does teaching doctrine still sound intimidating?

Refresh you life and the life of a younger woman with the solid truth from God’s Word.

salad · Side dish · summertime

Corn & Tomato Salad

I’ll never forget having dinner with Dale and his parents before we got married. It was a summer day in South Carolina and the fresh vegetable stands were brimming with fresh sweet corn from the fields. When we sat down to eat, there was no meat – there was a HUGE bowl of corn and another large platter of cantaloupe. Coming from a family of girls, and also parents

Continue reading “Corn & Tomato Salad”
Discipleship · Mentoring · Women's roles

A Life-On-Life Mentor

You can listen to this post here on the Refresh Her Podcast.

Years ago when I left home and stepped out on my own, there was no one to whom I spent time asking questions and being taught.  I had had the privilege of a Christian home and godly parents, but as far as someone sitting down to teach me my role as a Christian woman, I had no type of discipleship.  I think part of that was that in those decades, the idea of mentoring and being mentored was a quiet subject.  Not many addressed it.

Today that is not the case.  There have been many authors and speakers who have reminded us of our role in Titus 2 – that the older are to teach the younger.  I’ve been blessed now to have been on both ends, and I know the joy and blessing of learning and also of helping a younger woman to grow in Christ.

One newer book that is that is a wonderful teaching tool is Adorned, by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth.  The emphasis of the book is that as believers, we are to adorn the beauty of the Gospel and live it out before the world, and we are also to teach it to the younger women in our lives.

Continue reading “A Life-On-Life Mentor”
Dinner

What I’ve Been Cooking

During this summer of eating camp food that teens love (aka, tacos, hot dogs and Mac and cheese), I’ve enjoyed coming home and making some warm, comforting meals. I’ve posted these on my blog in the past, but if you’re new here, or if you haven’t made these recipes in a while, here’s your reminder! These will satisfy your craving for “real” food with minimal effort!

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Child training · Daughters · Uncategorized

How To Invest In Your Daughter

Recently while spending time with a sweet mom of young daughters, she asked me a question that I’ve continued to ponder even after our time together was ended.  She simply asked,

How would you recommend a mom invest in her daughters?

That question was asked by a young woman who wants to make the most of her time with her girls – as I’m sure most moms with children are desirous to do.  Days can fly by quicker than a spinning bobbin, leaving a mother saddened at missed moments and uncaptured opportunities.  I feel that way myself sometimes as see other moms doing such a great job nurturing their girls.  It’s easy to think, “If only I had…,” but that’s not thinking Philippians 4:8 thoughts, so I quickly snatch the thought back and thank the Lord for what I was able to share with my girls while they were home.

As I continued to think about the answer to that great question, I’ve pondered these thoughts:

  • What is “investing?”  It means to give with a purpose to achieve something.We must determine what we want to achieve!  Godliness, Christlikeness,  biblical thinking and femininity are all great goals for our daughters.
    • How will I get there?  The list that follows would help achieve these:
      • Pour God’s Word into them from the moment of conception.  Deut. 6:5-9 Teach them of salvation, God’s will for their lives, and God’s will for women.
      • Teach them how to love God’s Word and how to have a Quiet Time.  Get them a journal (a blank one for coloring what they learned, then graduate the style as they mature).
      • Teach them how to pray.  Show them how to use a Prayer journal.
      • Teach them about submission.  Use practical illustrations and most importantly your example to God, Christ, your husband, and pastor.
      • Encourage their talents.  When I realized that both my girls had God-given musical talents, I took them to lessons and wouldn’t let them quit while they were in our home.  I felt responsible for that ability to be encouraged so they could use that for the Lord!
      • Take them to “girl-y” events and places – Tea rooms, nice restaurants, etc. so you can teach them good manners, and how to enjoy a nice setting like that.  It doesn’t have to happen every week – it could be once a year on their birthday.  Just make it regular so you can instill etiquette and also make it the special event that it is!
      • Have fun!  Laugh with your girls.  Lay on the bed and talk and just have fun together.  This isn’t “buddy-time,” remember, you’re the mom, but show them that moms can be pretty fun to be around!
        • One funny memory my girls and I share is April Fools Day; I loved to pull little, harmless pranks on them.  Life can be pretty serious, and it’s great to enjoy the medicine of laughter when you can!
      • Make sure you have an honest chat with them before they reach puberty.  They need to understand the truths of the changes in their body and husband/wife relationships from a biblical perspective, rather than the slanted opinion of their uneducated friends.  Talk to them.  Teach them.  They’ll be satisfied early on with generalities.  You can get specific as their wedding day approaches.  Open the door for them to ask you questions about anything.
      • Teach them how to cook and handle themselves in the kitchen.  By the time they’re ready to leave home, they should be able to put an entire meal on the table. Let them have their friends over and cook for them. This is teaching hospitality as well!
      • Teach them homemaking skills – laundry, ironing, cleaning a bathroom, spring cleaning, etc.
      • Give them responsibilities and chores so they know how to manage a home.
      • Tell them about your love story with your husband.  Remind them that God’s plan is BEST!  They can trust God to provide if He desires for them to be married.
      • Model before her the joy of your marriage!  Brag on her daddy and love him.  That may be the second best gift you could give her (the first being showing her Christ)!

I’m sure there are lots of other ways to invest in a daughter, but these are some of the highlights in my own heart.  Remember that the years will be gone quicker than you know, so make the most of today.  Make this day your focus – not her teen years, or even what you messed up in the past.  Even if your daughter is grown, you can still invest in her life!  An adult daughter is one of the best friendships you can enjoy!  Keep investing!