You can listen to this post here on the Refresh Her Podcast.
Years ago when I left home and stepped out on my own, there was no one to whom I spent time asking questions and being taught. I had had the privilege of a Christian home and godly parents, but as far as someone sitting down to teach me my role as a Christian woman, I had no type of discipleship. I think part of that was that in those decades, the idea of mentoring and being mentored was a quiet subject. Not many addressed it.
Today that is not the case. There have been many authors and speakers who have reminded us of our role in Titus 2 – that the older are to teach the younger. I’ve been blessed now to have been on both ends, and I know the joy and blessing of learning and also of helping a younger woman to grow in Christ.
One newer book that is that is a wonderful teaching tool isAdorned, by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth. The emphasis of the book is that as believers, we are to adorn the beauty of the Gospel and live it out before the world, and we are also to teach it to the younger women in our lives.
In mid September I began memorizing the third chapter of Colossians. Oh, what a joy this chapter of Scripture has been to my heart! I have mediated on it over and over as I’ve put this chapter in my heart. There are so many wonderful truths about my position in Christ, and then the reminder of the things that should be a part of my life because I am in Him!
When I shared my desire to memorize this chapter last month, I promised to give an update. My goal was to learn one verse per day, but it was a bit too challenging. My struggle isn’t each learning individual verse, but saying them in order! The Lord is giving me understanding as I keep rehearsing the chapter each day. I am really enjoying using the Bible Memory App. It really makes it easy to review my verses anywhere. I am now up to…
Verse 21. It’s exciting to me that I only have four more verses to go in this chapter!
There have been many nights that I awake in the middle of the night, wide awake. It’s been my practice this month to begin repeating Colossians 3 in my mind. Before I know it, I’ve gone back to sleep! I dream peacefully and get good rest.
Psalm 119:52
I remembered thy judgments of old, O Lord; and have comforted myself.
This is no boast…I’m very slow and I don’t have nearly the amount of Scripture memorized that I should have at this age. I only share this to keep myself accountable. I also pray it challenges you to be memorizing God’s Word! What a treasure it is.
A young mom fought for control of her children. Not knowing how to make them obey, she promised rewards, and also threatened they’d lose everything they owned. The children won; the mom was disheartened and worn down.
A husband and wife are on two separate pages. He does his thing, she does hers. The co-exist under one roof.
Self-control is on the back burner. Whatever she wants, she has, not even thinking of the long-term personal cost.
Depression is a way of life for her. She doesn’t even know how she’ll put her feet on the floor tomorrow.
On and on the scenarios go. It seems that every single day I’m reminded of the reasons behind books like, Adorned. Many times I’ve been one of the women I described above. But how I thank the Lord for the Gospel – the fact that Jesus Christ lived, died and rose again to give me eternal life and also abundant life in this present time. My life can have purpose, my marriage and parenting can gain direction. I am able to have wisdom to move forward and strength to overcome sin. That’s the story of the Gospel and the message behind Adorned that we’ve been studying for the last 15 weeks.
Who do you know that needs the truths we’ve talked about? Once we know these truths, we are responsible to share them with another woman so she can walk in growth and victory.
Titus 2:5
That they (the older women) may teach the young women…
Women need women to help them.
What’s the benefit?
Informally teaching these lessons can make an older woman realize she has purpose. She won’t be lonely as she pours into younger women. She will look for ways to reach out. Even if you can’t leave home, you can call, Facetime, or chat with Facebook video.
Younger women won’t feel desperate as a single woman or wife.
Young moms won’t feel isolated or at a loss for what to do.
Women will be filling the need for relationships and conversation.
What to do to get started:
Get a copy of Adorned and read it through. Mark it up.
Keep growing in God’s Word yourself.
Ask for the Lord to bring someone into your life – young or old.
Read separately, then get together and discuss it. ~What questions came to your mind while reading? ~How can I pray for you regarding this topic (loving your husband, submission, or kindness?)
Pray together.
Be available.
Or you could listen to the broadcasts that I’ve recorded that highlight each chapter of the book, Adorned. Listen and then discuss the lesson together. Stop it and talk. Share from your own life experiences. Pray together.
Another idea is to do a version of Apples of Gold. I’ve shared lots of post about this ministry. You can search Apples of Gold in the search engine here on my blog and find LOTS of ideas.
The point is, there is no cookie cutter way to invest in another woman. Pray and then allow the Lord to direct you. Be watchful and open. Then live out this passage of Scripture and be used of God to Adorn the Gospel – show the new life you have in Christ because He died and rose again! Show the purpose you have as a godly woman whose life has been changed by the Gospel!
I’d love to know – are you currently mentoring another woman? If not, what’s holding you back? If you are, I’d love to hear how it’s going!
The right tool can help accomplish a task with skill and precision! The right knife to cut bread easily, a food processor that can grate a block of cheese in seconds, and good pans that allow you to cook without the food scorching or sticking are all SO helpful.
While the right tools are essential in the kitchen, they are also needed to disciple women and girls! Let me explain ~
I have a precious 12-year old neighbor girl who trusted Christ after Bible Club at my house a few years back. Because she doesn’t attend church, I’ve been so burdened to help her grow in Christ. As she will soon be entering her teen years, I wanted to help her to learn to make right choices, based on God’s Word. How would I do that?
Then I learned about a book, by Dana Gresh written especially for girls! The book is called, Lies Girls Believe. As I looked through its pages, I knew that this book could serve as just the right tool to help me teach her about God’s Word.
We are all faced with the lies of this world. Young girls are especially vulnerable. They hear things like,
God is not enough!
I have to be pretty or popular to be valuable.
There are things I could do that would make God stop loving me.
My parents just don’t get me.
Being a mom or homemaker isn’t important.
I don’t need to talk to my mom about stuff going on in my life.
These are just some of the lies that are addressed in the book. I was impressed with how relevant the topics were to my young friend’s life. The illustrations shared in the book were from real girls in real situations in which girls can truly relate.
I’m sharing this in case you have a daughter between 10-12, or you know a girl that age – a niece, a granddaughter, a girl at church, or in your neighborhood. Who will share TRUTH with her if you don’t?
Are you frightened you won’t know what to do? Well, just like we learn how to use those kitchen tools, you can learn to disciple a young girl! To be honest, I was a little afraid, too! I was afraid she wouldn’t open up, or that I wouldn’t know what to say, but as in anything we do for the Lord, He gives strength and wisdom to accomplish the task!
Let me share with you how I structured my time as we went through the book:
I kept communication open with her mom. Some of the topics were sensitive and I always wanted to give her mom a heads-up (like when we were going to discuss her menstrual cycle).
I made it casual. In the summertime, we sat out on the back porch. In the winter, we were in the living room on the sofa, in our sock feet with the fire burning.
I offered a beverage and sometimes a snack or dessert (depending on the time of day we were able to meet.) Girls love chocolate for the most part, so I often just had snack-sized candy bars or small cookies out so she could indulge, if she wanted to.
I stayed flexible. Between school and sporting events, she’s busy, so I tried to open up my week to work whenever she was available.
I had her read the illustrations about Zoe, the “main character,” who helped us learn each week’s lesson. We would go back and forth reading the chapter out loud. I would have things underlined or marked in my book ahead of time, so I’d remember parts where I wanted to stop and ask her questions.
I tried to be very transparent. In the chapter where we discussed the lie It’s okay to be boy-crazy! I honestly shared with her that I had believed that as a teen. I told her my regrets in doing so. I also shared with her how I sought God’s will after high school and how God directed my life. I shared my salvation testimony, and many other examples from my own life.
Sometimes we would do an activity together to illustrate the lesson. One week when talking about watching shows with just a little bit of cursing or sinful lifestyles, we made No-Bake Cookies together. I had a container of bleach on the counter and suggested that we pour in just a tablespoon of the bleach into the ingredients “just to see what would happen.” Of course I had no intention of doing so, but when we discussed our lesson while enjoying our cookies, I reminded her that “just a little bit of cursing” in a movie was as dangerous for us as the bleach would have been. I think she got the point! On the week we discussed friends, we crafted a card for her to give to her friend.
I ended the book by doing something special together. On the night of the final chapter, I took her to dinner and gave her several restaurant options. Each restaurant was a place where there was an extensive menu. After she’d chosen the place and then ordered her dinner, I told her that just like she had to make a choice for our restaurant and for her dinner, she would have to choose Truth for the rest of her life. We reiterated again how she would do that.
As of this week, we’re finished with the study, but she will continue to be in my regular prayers. I will text her occasionally to ask her how she’s doing with digging into God’s Word for Truth. And oh, will I miss seeing her so frequently! (We’ve discussed doing another study perhaps this summer.) But I’m also seeking another girl with whom I could do this study.
Who might you invest in by using this simple, but powerful tool? This is a wonderful use of your time and your testimony. Unlike my food processor or knives, this is a tool that will give eternal results!
What questions or fears do you have about discipling a young girl?
Refresh the life of a pre-teen and pour your life into hers!
I have an older, gentler way of seeing these little ones! (My children probably wonder who I’ve turned into!
I have more time to just sit and play or read stories.
I’m not as uptight as when I was parenting – maybe because the ultimate responsibilities of my grandsons’ well-being is not on my shoulders.
Big things are little things. They don’t want to eat? “Okay., you can eat later.” Not sleepy? “Let’s take a drive!” That broke? “It’s just stuff!”
But I do realize that while I can play the day away with my grandsons, I do have a HUGE responsibility as their Gigi –
I must point my grandchildren to God!
It’s not my right to “spoil them then send them home,” but to have fun with them all the while I am showing a life that points them to Christ. We see this in Timothy’s grandmother, Lois in II Timothy 1:5. The faith that Lois had in God was passed to her daughter, Eunice and also to her grandson, Timothy!
Today I want to encourage you about one simple way you can do that with your young grandchildren. This is doable if they are local and you see them weekly, but also if you only spend vacation times together. As a matter of fact, part of this could be done using Zoom or an app like Maro Polo. What if you planned out a one hour teaching time, full of Bible truths in story form, activities and crafts to support the lesson, and maybe even a snack that continued the idea of what you’re teaching that day.
I’ve done this very thing with my neighbor children for years and now it’s time to pour into my twin grandsons! As a jumping off point for you, here’s what I do each week:
Decide the lesson to be taught and then realize what the theme for day will be. Search the Internet for lesson ideas (make sure it’s doctrinally sound and not just “fluff.”). Some of my go-to’s are Ministry to Children, Happy Home Fairy and Hands on Bible Teacher. I also search Pinterest. Last week I taught about Day 5 of Creation. The main idea was God made the fish and birds on Day 5.
I look in those places for songs, fun games and activities to go along with the lesson to reinforce the main idea. Last week we sang God is so good (“God made the birds” was one verse!). I got flannel fish and birds and let the boys put them on the flannel board either up in the sky or down in the water.They added pages to their notebooks, and they painted a wooden whale and owl. I added a magnetic strip on the back so they could put it on the fridge.
I come up with a little snack that would help to continue the theme. This week I made “fish” crackers and cheese for their snack. They may not look like fish to you, but that’s the blessing of teaching an imaginative child!!!
Teaching time – God made the fish on Day 5. Where does he live?
Activity pages I found online. I added the pictures, but the little song was part of a lesson.
As we went about our morning together, I just kept repeating our songs about Day 5 of creation. When we went outside, we looked for birds in the sky and I asked them Who made that bird and on what day of creation.
They painted Wooden fish magnets with a “5” written on them to reinforce what God made on Day 5.
Fish-y snacks!
There is every level of lesson and activity out there and God’s Word is relevant to each child and each age. Just teach your grandchildren. Make it fun. Be creative. Teach them God’s Word.
You will be exhausted and maybe even unsure if you got anything into their little heads, but we just obey and leave the results to God.
Some other little suggestions/helps:
If you live away from your grandchildren, you could do the story on an app on your phone or computer.
If you have teens you could do a Bible study with them. Here is a list of great resources for teens!
If you don’t have any children or grandchildren, look around for your neighbor children that could use a woman to teach them! Here’s a post about my weekly time with my neighbors. You can also see how I planned and scheduled our time together.
The influence of a grandmother is so vital. We will often be able to speak things into our grandchildren’s lives that they would not accept from their parents.
Let’s be a “Lois” and pray for a “Timothy” to be nurtured at our knees.
I’d love to hear any suggestions you may have about how you’ve nurtured your grandchildren in the Lord!
RefreshHer 