Biblical Womanhood · joy · peace · Truth About Women

How Can We Biblically Deal with our Emotions?

Part 2 (You can find Part 1 here)

A good day can turn into a very bad day in a matter of minutes. Here’s how it goes –
1. I allow my feelings to dominate my thinking – (“This is the worst thing ever! I shouldn’t have to deal with this!” Neither of these statements are true.)
2. My reactions then reveal the emotional tidal wave by spilling from my mind into my heart. (I pout, am angry or I retreat)
3. My mouth speaks what I’m thinking. (I may accuse, complain or verbalize in other ways the things I feel)
4. The result is always regret. (Hurt feelings of others, distance in relationships, or spiritual coldness in my own heart)

However, when I begin to feel those emotions (and we will all feel things about our situations or relationships), I must make the immediate choice to deal with it in the three ways I mentioned last week. Then the blessed results of choosing right thinking will follow!
The results are…

  • Joy  Eve lost her joy when she went on her feelings and failed to trust God. But we can follow Paul’s admonition and “Rejoice in the Lord always.” If there’s no one else or nothing else to think about with joy, our dear Savior is always the best place to meditate. In Him we have so many reasons to rejoice!
    He loves us unconditionally!
    He will never leave us!
    He lives within us!
    He’s made a promise He’s coming again!
    He’s praying for us!
    He has provided us access to the Throne of God!
    For this and so much more, He is the center of our joy.
  • Peace in your own heart and peace with others. Eve, lost peace with God when she sinned. Her relationship with Adam was scarred, too. Paul reminds us in Philippians 4 to “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” This literally means “don’t worry about anything.” That “feeling” you have can become a fretful thing. Pray instead and let the peace of God rule in your heart!
  • Spiritual and emotional health – Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.Prov. 31:25 If we want to be strong spiritually and emotionally healthy, we simply live in the strength that comes from resting in the Lord. We can be like the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31:25 and have strength when we don’t lean on our emotions, but on our God Whom we are in awe of. We must realize that we can rest in His sovereign care for all that touches our lives and our feelings. When we have this kind of strength, we won’t end up an emotional wreck – no matter what we “feel.” Instead, we will be a woman of strength and honor.
    We hear a lot about emotional health. Here’s how to have it –

For good emotional health,

don’t depend on your emotions!

I don’t know about you, but I never like it when I’ve had times of emotional upheaval. Thank the Lord for His Divine help that enables us to mature in regards to our feelings.

If this post resonates in your heart at all, and you deal with fluctuating emotions as I have, make it a matter of prayer, asking God to help you apply #1-3 in the first part of this post.

Emotions are part of our make-up as women, but they should never be the boss of our lives! Let Truth override anything you may be “feeling.” Dig to find it in God’s Word. Ask loving questions of others. Then meditate on that truth instead.
You won’t have regrets for doing so.
Ask Eve.

Biblical Womanhood · joy · peace · Truth About Women

How Can We Deal Biblically With our Emotions?

Part 1

I love that God made women to be emotional beings. We feel sentiments, we sense problems, we discern issues. Sometimes we are spot on. Sometimes that intuition and sense of sadness, trouble or even excitement were all correct and we nod our heads, thankful that we followed through to care for ourselves or the other people involved.

However, because we are far from perfect, we don’t always get it right. Let’s face it, sometimes we can be totally off. On those occasions, we can also track our incorrect feelings to our incorrect responses. Been there? Me too! We are not alone, though.

When we open to the first Book of the Bible and see Eve in the garden, we are met immediately with a woman who missed it. When Satan showed her the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, the Scripture says,

And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.

She was looking at this whole situation and feeling that God had not been fair. He had withheld something that was good. Next we see that her wrong thinking/feelings, led her to act out her incorrect discernment when she took of the fruit and gave some to her husband, Adam.

There are several ways we can avoid jumping to conclusions as Eve did.

  1. Don’t go solely by your emotions. “I feel like…” Yes, sometimes we get it right, but emotions aren’t called “roller coasters” for nothing! If we go by what we “feel,” we’re very possibly going to end up with more than a crick in our neck. Like Eve, we will injure others in the process. Not going on our emotions is absolutely essential – especially when we are feeling things about God that are unlike His character!
    Elizabeth Elliot said, If you dwell on your own feelings about things rather than dwelling on the faithfulness, the love, and the mercy of God, then you’re likely to have a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.  Our feelings are very fleeting and ephemeral, aren’t they?  We can’t depend on them for five minutes at a time.  But dwelling on the love, faithfulness, and mercy of God is always safe.
  2. Seek out the truth. If your feelings are pushing you to do something, find out the truth before you do anything. If Eve would have gone to the Source (God Himself), she would have been spared the awful consequences that followed. Ask loving (not accusatory) questions. You might say something like, “I’m feeling like this is happening. Am I correct or am I in error?”
  3. Believe the truth. It’s easy to ask someone that question, but we can be so convinced we’re right about what we’re “discerning” that if they refute what we’re feeling, we refuse the truth when they state it. Perhaps it’s out of a desire to be right. Or perhaps we’re so sure of our feelings that we think we need to inform the other person.

The truth of this situation is found in Genesis 2:17

But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.

Eve needed to believe that God was so good to her and Adam. He had kept the evil from them! She found that out very quickly, didn’t she? You and I will often invite hardship, too, when we keep pressing into our emotions. What do we do then if we’re told that our feelings are inaccurate? We make a choice. We go to the Lord in prayer and ask Him to help us replace our feelings with right thinking. Philippians 4:8 Every time the emotion rushes in, we choose truth instead. It’s like choosing to eat something sweet and delicious, or picking up something disgusting from the sidewalk and popping it into our mouth and chewing on it. It’s our choice to choose.

Next week I’ll continue this post and I’ll be sharing the result of choosing right thinking over our emotions. For today, ask yourself:

  • Am I going solely on my emotions about the issue bothering me?
  • Am I willing to seek out truth?
  • Will I believe the truth when I hear it?

The roller coaster of emotions make for dizzy days. Guard your heart by seeking out the truth.

Biblical Womanhood · spiritual growth · Uncategorized

The Blessings of Reading Through the Bible in a Year

In a couple of weeks, I will have completed another read through the Bible. That’s saying nothing about me, but I do want to say something about God’s Word – it changes me!

The reason I started reading through the Bible many years ago is because I had not really gotten the “whole story” in my head. I had broken up segments of the Old Testament happenings I’d heard since my childhood. I knew some of the psalms and loved Paul’s epistles, but reading all the way through the Bible has taught me and profited me so much!

  1. Reading through the Bible has shown me the thread of redemption that is woven throughout all of Scripture. After the fall of man,, we see God providing, not just Adam and Eve’s present needs, but telling He would provide a sacrifice for mankind. Then all through its pages, we see pictures and types of Christ, coming to save us from our sin. From Abraham, Joshua, Moses, Joseph and the psalms, we are pointed to His suffering, death and resurrection!
  2. Reading through the Bible has given me a greater love for God’s Word. I see the way Scripture commentates on itself. I see Christ on each page. I see the way the Word is knit together like the yarns of a scarf through the weaver’s shuttle. It’s a Book like no other book! It is alive! It is powerful! It is life-giving!
  3. Reading through the Bible has caused me to grow spiritually. Oh, how dear it is to open my Bible and hear God speak Truth to my heart! The Spirit of God teaches me His character, gives me hope for the future, and convicts me of sin so I can get it right. All of this causes growth.
  4. Reading through the Bible has given me a greater desire to memorize Scripture. Because I see its value to change me, I know it’s essential to have it hidden in my heart. Psalm 119 is full of reminders why I need to memorize – it gives comfort, it gives me words to answer others, it guides me, it keeps me from sin…and so many other reasons.

I will definitely be reading through the Bible in 2022. Whitney shared on her blog this week that she’s going to be doing The Bible Recap. That is a chronological reading. I’m praying about whether to do that or to repeat the Bible in a year on you version. It takes you through the old and New Testament, Psalms and Proverbs. I love the variety. Through this plan I’ve also seen the redemption thread woven so beautifully.

Have you ever read through the Bible? If it seems daunting to you, realize you just take it one day at a time. I believe having a plan doesn’t overwhelm you, but it keeps you on track. Pray and ask God to give you a hunger for His word, and then make a plan to dive in come January 1, 2022.

You can go here to see a tool that has helped me as I’ve read the Bible.

Biblical Womanhood · Discipleship · Mentoring

The Final Chapter In Mentoring – How & Why

Final chapter of Adorned

Do any of these describe you?

  • A young mom fought for control of her children. Not knowing how to make them obey, she promised rewards, and also threatened they’d lose everything they owned. The children won; the mom was disheartened and worn down.
  • A husband and wife are on two separate pages. He does his thing, she does hers. The co-exist under one roof.
  • Self-control is on the back burner. Whatever she wants, she has, not even thinking of the long-term personal cost.
  • Depression is a way of life for her. She doesn’t even know how she’ll put her feet on the floor tomorrow.

On and on the scenarios go. It seems that every single day I’m reminded of the reasons behind books like, Adorned. Many times I’ve been one of the women I described above. But how I thank the Lord for the Gospel – the fact that Jesus Christ lived, died and rose again to give me eternal life and also abundant life in this present time. My life can have purpose, my marriage and parenting can gain direction. I am able to have wisdom to move forward and strength to overcome sin. That’s the story of the Gospel and the message behind Adorned that we’ve been studying for the last 15 weeks.

Who do you know that needs the truths we’ve talked about? Once we know these truths, we are responsible to share them with another woman so she can walk in growth and victory.

Titus 2:5

That they (the older women) may teach the young women…

Women need women to help them.

What’s the benefit?

  • Informally teaching these lessons can make an older woman realize she has purpose.  She won’t be lonely as she pours into younger women. She will look for ways to reach out. Even if you can’t leave home, you can call, Facetime, or chat with Facebook video.
  • Younger women won’t feel desperate as a single woman or wife.
  • Young moms won’t feel isolated or at a loss for what to do.
  • Women will be filling the need for relationships and conversation.

What to do to get started:

  1. Get a copy of Adorned and read it through.  Mark it up.  
  2. Keep growing in God’s Word yourself.
  3. Ask for the Lord to bring someone into your life – young or old.
  4. Read separately, then get together and discuss it.  
    ~What questions came to your mind while reading?
    ~How can I pray for you regarding this topic (loving your husband, submission, or kindness?)
  5. Pray together.
  6. Be available.

Or you could listen to the broadcasts that I’ve recorded that highlight each chapter of the book, Adorned.  Listen and then discuss the lesson together.  Stop it and talk.  Share from your own life experiences. Pray together.

Another idea is to do a version of Apples of Gold. I’ve shared lots of post about this ministry. You can search Apples of Gold in the search engine here on my blog and find LOTS of ideas.

The point is, there is no cookie cutter way to invest in another woman.  Pray and then allow the Lord to direct you.  Be watchful and open.  Then live out this passage of Scripture and be used of God to Adorn the Gospel – show the new life you have in Christ because He died and rose again!  Show the purpose you have as a godly woman whose life has been changed by the Gospel!

I’d love to know – are you currently mentoring another woman? If not, what’s holding you back? If you are, I’d love to hear how it’s going!

Refresh someone else by mentoring them!

Biblical Womanhood · Discipleship · Mentoring

This Changes Everything

Adorned #14

I don’t know if your mother had a saying that you remember, but my mom used to tell me and my sisters to “Act pretty.”  It has nothing to do with outward appearance, She was telling us to be kind.  We all have to be reminded of that…even in our adult years!

Paul tells us in Titus 2, Older women are to teach what is good, and to train the young women to  love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, and kind.

Why does he have to remind us of this?  Because it’s so easy for us to DO all the things we should be doing, but with the wrong attitude.  We can do the laundry, cook a meal and make the house spotless, but be huffing and puffing a bad attitude while doing so. (I’m So guilty!)

In her book, Adorned, Nancy paints the picture of Mary and Martha in Luke 10.  She reminds us that we  are sometimes “distracted with much serving, worried and bothered about so many things.”  We become stretched thin and stirred up, bothered and brittle.

On this occasion, Jesus and his followers gathered at the home of Mary and Martha and Lazarus.  There could’ve been two or three dozen people! Martha, with her take-charge temperament, moved into hostess mode for this impromptu gathering.  

I imagine that she is excited to see Jesus and others there in her home, thankful for the joy of hosting her friend here where she lived with her sister Mary and brother, Lazarus.  Martha began to clean and cook and make sure everyone was properly served and comfortable while Mary chose to sit at Jesus’ feet and listen to Him teach.  Can you just imagine the thoughts that were running through Martha’s mind when she spots her sister sitting while she’s working?

Nancy reminds us that her thoughts included popular sins we all deal with:

Self-centeredness – Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone?  Tell her to to help me. Notice the words pointing to herself.

Insensitivity – People had gathered around to listen to Jesus teach.  But that didn’t keep Martha from barging in, interrupting Him, disturbing everyone.  She was more concerned with how she was being inconvenienced.   

Accusation –  Asking if someone would give her a hand would have been  an understandable request.  But her words were accusatory – both towards Jesus and Mary.

Resentment –  Can you just hear her in the kitchen loudly and purposefully banging the pans around in her disgust? Her inner martyr had likely been muttering under her breath for a while now.  What tone does she use?  Is she whiney, loud and unkind?  Probably so.

Serving was no longer her joy and privilege – it was a burden.  

It’s so easy to get to this place where Martha is.  It’s easy to feel that we have a heavier load and then to feel resentment towards the ones we are serving.  But when we feel this way, we must stop and ask ourselves the question we have been pondering in this passage – Is my thinking sophron right now?  Am I thinking sound, biblical thoughts?  Realizing that we are serving and doing what we are doing for the Lord can bring our thoughts back to solid ground.Our thinking will change our attitude and our attitude will show in our changed actions.  Out will flow acts of kindness rather than resentment.

After we’ve discussed subjects that are weighty like sophron thinking and being sober and reverent, isn’t it a little trite to end by talking about being kind?  Hardly. Why? Because women set the tone of the home. We’ve heard the saying, If momma ain’t happy, nobody’s happy. There is much truth to that!   

Kindness begins at home! Our family should get the first of our efforts and energies.  The baked bread, the home cooked meal, the kind gestures that we fuss over for our guests.  Let it be done FIRST for our family. 

We must remember that we first learned kindness from our Savior. 

Titus 3 For we ourselves also were sometimes foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving divers lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful and hating one another.

4 But after the kindness and love of God our Savior toward man appeared, He saved us not by works of righteousness which we had done, but according to His mercy, by the washing of regeneration, and by the renewing of the Holy Ghost,

Kindness is at the end of the list of traits in Titus 2. It’s a fitting ending, reminding us that all that comes before it must be done wrapped in the beauty of kindness, the type Jesus has towards us every day. Having a kind attitude truly does change the atmosphere. Even if you have to do something hard, like rebuke a child, entertain guests when you feel ill prepared, or have a conversation on the phone with a needy person, if we ask the Lord to give us His kindness, the situation will be far more pleasant for our own heart, as well as the one we are encountering!

Look back over the last couple of days and ask the Lord if your attitude has portrayed kindness or resentment. The blessing is that even if we’re convicted of wrong motives, the kindness of our Savior forgives us when we confess!

Refresh your attitude of service to one of kindness.