When God Seems Far Off

August 18, 2017August 17, 2017 RefreshHerLeave a comment

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When my husband and I were dating, we had many miles between us. We missed one another desperately, so we did whatever was necessary to eliminate the distance!

One summer I was in Kentucky and he was in South Carolina – not exactly next door! Then to make matters even more difficult, I had planned to travel with my family to Michigan. Knowing that even more miles were getting ready to separate us was an unpleasant thought, so he found a way to make the trip north with us! Being separated from one you love is rough business!

Have you ever felt that the Lord was very far away? That’s worse than feeling distant from any human being. In Psalm 13:1 the psalmist said,

“How long wilt thou forget me, O LORD? forever?
how long wilt thou hide thy face from me?”

He was wondering if God had just plain forgotten him, and he wondered why he couldn’t see His face. However, an omniscient God can never forget and an omnipresent God can never be removed from us!

In verse two he said that he has sorrow in his heart daily. Do you feel that way right now? Does it seem like every day you wake up and that sorrow is staring you in the face? Have you discovered the happy device by which you can escape trouble? The answer is in verses five and six.

“But I have trusted in thy mercy; my heart shall rejoice in thy salvation. I will sing unto the Lord, because he hath dealt bountifully with me.”

The mercy seat refreshes the weeper. Remembering that fact that God took care of the greatest trouble a soul can face – eternal damnation in hell, reminds me that He is able to take care of every other need that comes into my life. He has truly dealt bountifully with us!

Joys remembered sweeten present sorrows.

Remember what the Lord has done for you.
Has he saved you?
What prayers has He answered in the past?
Has He comforted you in other trials?
Has He worked in the hearts of those you’ve prayed for?
What special blessings has He allowed you to enjoy?

Let those joys sweeten your present sorrow and encourage your heart!

God hasn’t forgotten you; He is very near.

When do you feel most removed from God?

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Encouragement · friends · Godly Character Traits

For a Lifeline, Call a Friend

August 8, 2017August 8, 2017 RefreshHerLeave a comment

Did you ever watch “Who Wants To Be a Millionaire?”? The contestants answered questions, each one getting progressively harder and taking them closer to a million dollars. If they were unsure of an answer, one option they had was to call a friend. This would be a person, who, obviously had lots of knowledge and could be their “lifeline,” helping them reach their hoped-for goal of becoming a millionaire!

It would be quite an honor to be asked to be your friend’s life-line! That would mean the contestant had full confidence in your ability to give them the correct answer at a very crucial moment!

I recently heard a preacher say that at a time in his life when he had to make a decision about whether or not to accept an important position, he spent many hours in prayer. He weighed the pros and cons. He talked with friends and associates and asked their advice. One night after spending time with godly friends, trying to come to a conclusion about the right decision, he came home and found his wife had already gone to bed. When he laid down beside her, she rolled over and held up two fingers, signifying that she rated the decision he was going to make only a two.

“That was all I needed to hear. My wife walks so closely to the Lord, I knew that if this only ranked a two, then the Lord would have me not accept that position.”

Talk about being a life-line! This godly wife was so trusted by her husband in her walk with God, that it altered the course of his life! His story made me stop and ask myself a couple of questions:

Could my husband trust my response to a decision that fully?
Do I walk so closely to the Lord every day that at any given moment I could be asked a question by my husband, my daughter or a friend, and I would give the right answer because it would be God’s answer?

This dear pastor’s wife I mentioned had walked with God. She’d been faithful to read and study God’s Word. She’d spent time in prayer. She was sensitive to His directives in her own life – that’s how she could rightly guide those around her!

It really doesn’t matter that no one has asked me to be their lifeline on a game show. I’m not that smart! However, I want to be able to know the Lord’s heart so well that I could be a lifeline to my husband, or to any friend that the Lord brings across my path today.

How about you? Have you spent sufficient time in God’s Word this morning that even through what you read today you could give biblical counsel?

Know God so that you can lead others to Him, too!

Psalm 119:1-7

Blessed are the undefiled in the way,

who walk in the law of the Lord.

Blessed are they that keep his testimonies,

and that seek him with the whole heart.

They also do no iniquity:

they walk in his ways.

Thou hast commanded us to keep thy precepts diligently.

O that my ways were directed to keep thy statutes!

Then shall I not be ashamed,

when I have respect unto all thy commandments.

I will praise thee with uprightness of heart,

when I shall have learned thy righteous judgments.

With love,

Discipleship · Encouragement · Family life · home · Motherhood · Parenting

Training Children To Sit and Participate in Church

June 28, 2017June 27, 2017 RefreshHer4 Comments

Children can do some really funny things in church. When I was teaching the five year-old Sunday school class I remember asking my students how we get to go to heaven. A little girl raised her hand confidently. Her answer?

Die.

That remembrance still makes me laugh!

Sometimes, though, the things children do in church aren’t so funny – especially if you’re the parent. I’m not sure if there’s anything more stressful or humiliating for a parent than trying to teach their little one to sit quietly anywhere, but especially at church. Your child gets fidgety and talkative just the time there’s a need for quiet, right? We’ve all been there, and I want to encourage you that there is hope!

I’ve blogged about this before, but I just felt the need to rehearse a few ideas about teaching your child to sit through a church service.

Train them. Talk to them before you leave home. Tell them what is going to happen when you get there. Remind them that you’re going so you can worship God and learn more about him!
- Will they be going to Sunday school? Remind them that you’ll be back to pick them up.
- Tell them what kind of behavior you expect from them while they’re in class.
- Will they go to Pastor’s Pals or up front to sing with the children? Prepare them for what you expect.
Fortify them. Feed them a nourishing breakfast to hold them over through the service time.
Equip them. Pack a bag to take to church. Keep it only for church times and fill it with quiet books, crayons, etc. that will help them to listen if they’re old enough. They could draw a picture of something pastor is talking about. If they’re older, they might have a special book to write down important words he hears in the message.
Help them. Don’t bring or give them sugary drinks or snacks – you’ll only be making it more impossible for them to sit still!
Reward them. I read about one mom who played the “Seat game.” After training her two children to sit quietly in church, their mom told them they could sit one row in front of the parents next week since they’d done so well. Each week that they obeyed and sat quietly and obediently, they all moved up one row. Eventually they were seated on rows two and three! You obviously couldn’t do this with really young children, but it would might be a great incentive for school-aged children.
Discipline them. If your child misbehaves, don’t wait for it to get better and stay in the service where they’re causing a ruckus! Take them out immediately and deal with it, and deal with it in a way that they won’t want it repeated. If they get to go out and run around the foyer, they’ll learn that this is more of a reward than a punishment!
Model for them. Encourage worship. By your example of engaging in the singing and worship, teach them to follow your lead! Sing! Pray! Open your Bible! Take notes!
Praise them. Be sure to review the service on the way home. Applaud their good behavior and obedience!
Warn them. Deal with the disobedience and use it as a teaching tool for the next service and warn them about what will take place if this happens again.

Training, training, training. This must be consistent and loving. It also really, really helps if you attend regularly. Sporadic attendance will lose any training! When this is every week, several times a week, they’ll get it!

This takes time, of course, but you probably won’t be getting called to their classroom nearly as often for behavior issues! Instead, the teacher will pull you aside to ask what you’re doing at home that’s made such a difference. Oh, she may also tell you about the hilarious thing your child said to her in class that day!

Stay at it! You will make it!

With love,

children · Encouragement · Family life · Motherhood · Parenting

Firm, Fair, Fun Parenting

June 27, 2017March 3, 2025 RefreshHer2 Comments

This week I want to continue on with the parenting series in the form of some encouragement. I know it can be difficult and wearisome when they’re small. Teen years can seem to last forever with attitudes or questions about your choices. Even the adult years of children can be challenging and stressful. For that reason, we all need to have a biblical view of parenting – from the beginning to the end. Let’s dig in and get some good advice from God’s Word to keep us faithful to this blessed call of building our children for the glory of God!

Obviously parenting is a daily responsibility, and sometimes it can get overwhelming. Other days it’s discouraging because the children don’t seem like they’re “getting it.” We then fall into a disheartened mode which also influences the rest of our family.

May I encourage you on your parenting road today?

I heard a preacher recently say that in parenting you need to:

Be Firm
Be Fair
Be Fun

All three are needed.

Be firm – Say what you mean and then follow through. Don’t promise a spanking for disobedience and then not carry it out when you get home. That kind of neglect takes a huge amount of effort to undo. If you’ve set a curfew for your teen, expect them to honor it.

Be fair – Too often we hit the first one strong and hard. We’re firm. “No!” “No!” “No!” at every request, every attempt the child makes, at every word they say. But stop and ask if you’re also being fair.

What does “being fair” entail? Being fair requires really listening. Proverbs 18:13 says,

He that answereth a matter before he heareth it,

it is a folly and shame unto him.

Did you hear your child out completely before you answered them? Do you understand where they’re coming from? Or did you cut them off? If the teen was late for curfew, let them speak before you discipline. Hear them out. There may be a viable reason for their tardiness. If we’re wise, we will obey the Scripture above and hear them out. Let them know you care about what they have to say and that they are worth listening to.

Be fun – Lastly, we need to take time out for fun. If things are stressful in homeschool, drop the books and do something just for fun! If there’s been tons of stress in relationships, add a dose of something everyone will enjoy.

Go on a picnic for lunch.
Build a fort in the backyard.
Eat ice cream sundaes for supper.
Go shopping for sunglasses with your teen daughter and have lunch at her favorite place.
Learn to laugh – long and hard with your children
Isn’t it easy to scowl? Let your kids see you smiling- and at them!

Firm, fair, fun. If those words don’t describe your parenting, ask the Lord to help you incorporate the needed areas into your home today!

Which of these three areas is hardest for you?

With love,

Christian growth · Christian Life · Christian love · Encouragement · evangelism · Heaven

The Resale Value of Your Christian Life

May 9, 2017May 8, 2017 RefreshHerLeave a comment

car

After over 200,000 miles on the road, even a favorite automobile has to be laid to rest and replaced with newer wheels, a stronger engine and less numbers on the odometer. That is the story of our dearly loved and used Toyota Highlander. It served us well, but there were issues that needed to be addressed – and so as we prayed, we began looking for its replacement.

No matter what we chose, any car we sat in was definitely going to be an improvement. We would never choose one with more miles than our Toyota. The upholstery would be newer and the accessories in the dashboard would surely be an upgrade, maybe even including a back-up camera or navigational system! But the blessing was that Toyota Highlanders seem to hold their value and have a good resale. So, we had planned to trade the car in, which would, of course, help us purchase a car that was a newer/better model.

When most people shop for a car, they’re looking for the real deal – something that will be dependable and road-worthy. However, if I’ve learned anything, I have come to understand the importance of buying one that has good resale value (I’m a typical girl-y girl who usually goes for what looks good! I’m learning!!). Resale is really important in the long-run. If others want what you own, it will profit you and them!

That is also true in the life of a genuine Christian – a person who has put their complete trust in the cross-work of Christ on behalf of their sins. A Christian should be like a “New model” of the “old” sinner they were. Like that old car, they have gotten an upgrade! Old things are passed away and all things are become new!

People will look at that kind of Christian and want what they have because:

They don’t do the things they used to do. Their motivation is eternal rather than temporal. Their longing is for a heavenly reward, rather than the praise of men.
They don’t grind away at their job, complaining and grunting their way through their day! They work hard. They serve others with a smile and a sweet spirit.
They have purpose now – they’re living with the Holy Spirit of God inside them, and longing to be more like their Savior every day they live!
They’re constantly being changed by the conviction of the Spirit of God. Though they fall, they will rise up and keep going, with God’s help.
Their life has purpose and meaning. Even though the tears may fall in times of trial, they have an inner peace, because they know the One Who is triumphant over sin, death and the grave.

A true believer who lives out the Christian life makes others want what they have!

Does that describe you? Can the world tell the difference between you and an unsaved person? There are many Christians “on the lot” that are just your standard, no-frills-added believers. They “got saved one day” but they:

Don’t tell others about Jesus, or about their own salvation.
Don’t live out the Gospel in their every day life.
They fail to ~
- Love people – especially the “hard to love”
- Forgive those who hurt them
- Serve as Christ did
Don’t separate from the world.
- They do what everyone else does.
- They succumb to peer pressures and the World’s philosophy.
- They look and act like everyone else.
  - This doesn’t mean you have to wear culottes and tennis shoes! Nor does it mean you can be careless about necklines and hemlines.
  - If the world says ballgames are on Sunday, they go! If teams have practice on Sunday, they practice. If they’re too tired to attend services, they listen to their flesh instead of depending on the Spirit to help them.
Their lives look just like everyone else on their street.

Friends, I’m not talking about us being perfect Christians any more than I think we’ll ever find a perfect car. But what I’m begging us to consider is, Do others want our life as a Christian because they see its value, its power, and its transforming work going on in our lives every day of the week?

It’s time for each of us to be the best model of a Christian so that others will look at us and know that what we have is what their empty hearts need, too! Let’s live up to the precious resale value that we truly possess!

How are you living out your Christian life today in a way that makes it desirable to others?

Lovingly,

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