I’m not sure what it is about spring that inspires many to clean up and clear out the house and clutter, but it’s a good thing, isn’t it? I feel good about straightening up a closet or getting rid of unused items. The hard thing is that I have a husband who is a confessed pack rat! He keeps things because he has a sentimental heart and because he thinks he may need it again some day. Of course this runs cross-grain to a de-clutterer! The solution? Here are a few tips that I’ve found helpful:

• If the item in question was a gift but you don’t like it or use it consider passing it along to someone who would use it. Don’t re wrap it and disguise it as a new gift (tacky in my opinion) – just give it.
• If someone special gave you or made something for you that isn’t usable any more take a picture of it as a keepsake then throw it away.
• If you’re saving items your children made find just a couple of special things and put them into a special box for safekeeping.
• What about all the birthday cards and anniversary cards you’ve collected? I save just the special ones in a hatbox because I like to look back over them. You can also use many of the pictures and sentiment on cards as scrapbooking embellishments.
• Clothes that haven’t been worn in a year go out! You can send them to the consignment, Goodwill, or some store like that. I’ve found that adult clothing really doesn’t sell too well at yard sales. Children’s clothes sell – if you don’t mind getting rid of each item for a quarter after all the trouble of the yard sale. I’d personally rather pass things along to someone that can use them.
• Books can be donated to the library’s annual book sale. (The Gray Library is collecting books now.)
• Here’s a great way to get rid of sentimental notes and pictures: several years ago my mom gave me and each of my sisters a beautiful little box filled with cards, notes, and photos of things that each of our families had sent to her and my dad. It’s fun to read notes that my girls sent to their Nana and Papa after receiving birthday gifts, or cards that I wrote to them as a new bride. It cleared out her closet, and gave me a journal of sorts all in a pretty little box.
  

If you have tips on clearing out clutter please share them here.

Happy cleaning!

Is there anything so sentimental, sweet or moving as a wedding? I always get choked up when the doors open and the bride, with a beaming face, eyes on her groom, enters the sanctuary. Last night I had the privilege of attending a wedding at our church. As I sat and listened to the ceremony I did what probably most married women do – I thought back to my own wedding all those years ago. How can a couple so young and in love have any idea of what they are to face in the years to come? I surely didn’t! Though this couple has had good counsel about the reality of married life, they still really don’t have a clue about the twists in the road that lie ahead. That doesn’t make marriage frightening; it brings us to the greater understanding of how much we need the Lord at work in our individual lives every day. It’s also a blessing to think that God gave us someone with whom we can share those difficulties.

As I observe couples that have been married longer than our 28 years, I see that married life doesn’t ever just get easy. I guess I had the thought that after living with and loving someone for years and years, it would almost come naturally. But loving others really cuts cross-grain to our selfish natures. The longer you’re with someone the more relaxed you become, and because of that, sometimes it’s easy to also let our own flesh rule in the marriage instead of loving our spouse as Christ does. Just as this newly married couple are guarding their manners, the way the listen to each other, the attention they pay to the other…so each of us that are married must continue to make our spouse our priority. Kindness, thoughtfulness, loving gestures, gracious speech, unselfishness, and having a magnanimous heart should be worked on, through the power of the Holy Spirit for all of our married lives.

Twists and turns in our lives are going to happen, but how much sweeter those things are when we can face them hand in hand with the mate God has given. Are you still working on your marriage? What have you done today to make your mate’s life sweeter? Remember the day you vowed before God to love that man all your life, then do something to demonstrate that today.

What a very special Mother’s Day weekend this was! On Saturday evening my family went to Flatrock, North Carolina to celebrate because of Sunday being a very full day. My husband had looked on-line for a special restaurant where we could enjoy not only a delicious meal, but also a beautiful setting. Wow, did he ever find the perfect place! We went to Seasons, and had a perfect evening together. We were tucked back in a wooded area with bushes, trees, flowers, pergolas with vines and frequently visited birdhouses. We were seated in a corner of the restaurant next to the windows where I could see all that I just described.

When I was growing up I thought everyone had a home like mine, but when I got to college I found out that there were many girls that didn’t have the privilege of having a godly mother as I had. I got a whole new appreciation for my mom after hearing others share their stories. What kind of mom did I have? I’m so glad you were wondering, because I’d love to tell you about her.

Mother’s Day is one of those emotional holidays. It pulls at our hearts as we honor mothers. However, for some women, Mother’s Day is another reminder that they are not a mother, that they have not been blessed with a child. Though their heart yearns for a baby more than anything else in the world their arms are empty. Their childlessness may be due to infertility, miscarriage, stillbirth or SIDS (Sudden infant death syndrome), but the reason doesn’t matter, the ache and longing is there regardless of why.

Because I have had a stillbirth (you can read my story here on my blog https://refreshher.com/2008/12/09/my-flesh-faileth/), I can understand what Mother’s Day evokes in a woman’s heart when she’s longing for the baby she never had, or one that’s died. What can a woman do at this time to avoid the pain that this holiday brings? Here are some suggestions not just for Mother’s Day itself, but all through the year:

• Don’t focus on your loss – Instead focus on your mother and the blessing she has been. If your mom wasn’t a part of your life, then remember another woman who acted as your mother.
• Do something for someone else – Make your mom’s day special, or ask an elderly woman over who doesn’t have children or doesn’t live near her children. Spend time being a blessing to someone else.
• Reach out to a younger person who could use someone’s special attention, perhaps a child in a family of several children who would flourish with some individual attention from you. Mentor that young person, pray with them and for them. Spend time doing things with them.
• Remember that God is a good God. See your suffering of childlessness as a way to share in Christ’s suffering.

If you are reading this and you are a parent, look around and find a childless woman who could act as a second mom to your child(ren), or a woman who could fill the roll of grandmother in absence of your mother. What a blessing they could be to your family and what a blessing your family would be to her!

To all of you with empty arms, can I just remind you of God’s great love for you? He knows the longing in your heart. I heard a quote years ago that said, “When you get to the place where there’s nothing left but God, you find that He is enough.” It’s true. He is enough for your salvation, and He is enough for your childlessness. He cares and I do too.