Tag: Children

Essential Life Lessons for Kids
Parenting · Uncategorized

Essential Life Lessons for Kids

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When August comes, I always think about the moms who are sending one or more of their children off to college, perhaps for their first year. I remember the emotion that was involved in that change in our own lives. There were some difficult moments, but we had been duly warned that that day would come, so we had tried, by God’s grace to prepare our own hearts, as well as the hearts of our daughters. We certainly didn’t get it all right, and there were tears and aches in our hearts, but we had the goal of “preparation” as our motive for many years before the day of their departure ever came.

What did we prepare? We tried to prepare our own minds for the day the girls would leave home. We tried to remember through their growing up years that they didn’t belong to us – they were the Lord’s and He had loaned them to us for a time. Therefore, knowing that one day we would be “just the two of us” again, we strived to work at our marriage so we would be best friends and in love with each other, rather than strangers.

We also sought to prepare them for what was to come. We had discussions about subject matters that are sometimes sticky, but needful. I wrote this years ago concerning what parents should be teaching their children while they’re home –

There’s so much to teach our children, and I’m not referring to homeschool. I’m talking about the every day things – the stuff of life that need to be discussed with our children before they leave home.

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The Most Valuable Gift – You!
Gifts · Parenting

The Most Valuable Gift – You!

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With our grandson’s birthdays approaching, the question in our minds was,

“What can we give them that will be meaningful?”

If we had asked them, their answer would have been another leggo set or some other favorite toy that is on their list, which would have been fun, of course! However, as we considered our choices, we decided we would rather spend time with them. Also, being a twin myself, I also decided that we would have them one at a time, rather than together so we could focus on each boy.

As I prayed about it, I asked the Lord what we could do that each of them would enjoy. The results were a passel full of memories made and such sweet times together!

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Child training · children · Grandparents · Parenting

That Special Child

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This week I heard a message by Chuck Swindoll that just stopped me in my tracks. Part of the reason is because of the Truths of the Word of God that must be applied to my own life as I continue in sanctification. He spoke from Matthew 15 when Jesus was answering the question the disciples asked about who would be the greatest among them. Do you remember what Jesus did?

He brought a little child and set them in the middle of the group of disciples. He told them, If you want to enter the Kingdom of heaven, you must become like that little child ~

  • Unpretentious,
  • Full of trust
  • No agenda
  • No hidden desires
  • No secret sin
  • No guile
  • Authentic humility

Matthew 18 goes on to say ~

Beware that you don’t look down on any of these little ones.

It’s easy to look down on a child, isn’t it?
They can seem insignificant.
They can be difficult to deal with.
They are needy.

But Jesus values children. He says we must be like them to be saved. We admit our sinfulness like a child. We trust like a child. We love like a child.

Are you valuing the children in your life? Perhaps they are the children in your home. Maybe they’re your grandchildren. Are there children in your neighborhood? Do you bump into youngsters at church or the park or the grocery store?

Each one is important. Each one has special gifts. Each one has a need for Jesus. Do you see them? Do you take time to speak to them, to make them feel important and noticed? Or do you overlook them?

Then there are other children. Here’s what Chuck Swindoll says about them…

There are those who are weak and fragile and they can’t keep up.
Then you slow down. Take time for them. See the value in them. I love the scene where Jesus talks about future rewards and says,

Matthew 25:40 I was sick and you brought me something to eat. I was in prison and you visited me. I was thirsty and you brought me something cool to drink,

The one hearing it said,

When did we bring you something to eat, or see you in prison and visit you, and when did we bring you something cool to drink?
Jesus’ answer is,

Inasmuch as you’ve done it unto the least of these, you’ve done it unto Me.

Inasmuch as you’ve done it to these who couldn’t keep up,
these with special needs,
these with congenital brain damage,
these with physical conditions that hinder them from being able to run like the other children,
or to have coordinated bodies like other fast-moving and well-coordinated kiddos.
Guard against devaluing a child or discounting them.

Every child is precious to God. Every child is valuable just the way they were born. Don’t lessen their importance in your home – or in this very world. He or she may be just the one to turn this world upside down for Jesus Christ simply because of their “special-ness”.

Children have a way of reaching the hearts of people like none other. See them for the treasure they are and thank God that He brought them into your life so you could watch the things God will do through them and their unique gifts.

Let’s esteem children, every single one of them, as much as Jesus does.

Training Children To Sit and Participate in Church
Discipleship · Encouragement · Family life · home · Motherhood · Parenting

Training Children To Sit and Participate in Church

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Children can do some really funny things in church.  When I was teaching the five year-old Sunday school class I remember asking my students how we get to go to heaven. A little girl raised her hand confidently. Her answer?

Die.

That remembrance still makes me laugh!

Sometimes, though, the things children do in church aren’t so funny – especially if you’re the parent.  I’m not sure if there’s anything more stressful or humiliating for a parent than trying to teach their little one to sit quietly anywhere, but especially at church.  Your child gets fidgety and talkative just the time there’s a need for quiet, right?  We’ve all been there, and I want to encourage you that there is hope!

I’ve blogged about this before, but I just felt the need to rehearse a few ideas about teaching your child to sit through a church service.

  • Train them. Talk to them before you leave home.  Tell them what is going to happen when you get there.  Remind them that you’re going so you can worship God and learn more about him!
    • Will they be going to Sunday school?  Remind them that you’ll be back to pick them up.
    • Tell them what kind of behavior you expect from them while they’re in class.
    • Will they go to Pastor’s Pals or up front to sing with the children?  Prepare them for what you expect.
  • Fortify them. Feed them a nourishing breakfast to hold them over through the service time.
  • Equip them. Pack a bag to take to church.  Keep it only for church times and fill it with quiet books, crayons, etc. that will help them to listen if they’re old enough.  They could draw a picture of something pastor is talking about.  If they’re older, they might have a special book to write down important words he hears in the message.
  • Help them. Don’t bring or give them sugary drinks or snacks – you’ll only be making it more impossible for them to sit still!
  • Reward them. I read about one mom who played the “Seat game.”  After training her two children to sit quietly in church, their mom told them they could sit one row in front of the parents next week since they’d done so well.  Each week that they obeyed and sat quietly and obediently, they all moved up one row.  Eventually they were seated on rows two and three!  You obviously couldn’t do this with really young children, but it would might be a great incentive for school-aged children.
  • Discipline them. If your child misbehaves, don’t wait for it to get better and stay in the service where they’re causing a ruckus! Take them out immediately and deal with it, and deal with it in a way that they won’t want it repeated.  If they get to go out and run around the foyer, they’ll learn that this is more of a reward than a punishment!
  •  Model for them. Encourage worship.  By your example of engaging in the singing and worship, teach them to follow your lead!  Sing!  Pray!  Open your Bible!  Take notes!
  • Praise them. Be sure to review the service on the way home.  Applaud their good behavior and obedience!
  • Warn them. Deal with the disobedience and use it as a teaching tool for the next service and warn them about what will take place if this happens again.

Training, training, training.  This must be consistent and loving.  It also really, really helps if you attend regularly.  Sporadic attendance will lose any training!  When this is every week, several times a week, they’ll get it!

This takes time, of course, but you probably won’t be getting called to their classroom nearly as often for behavior issues!  Instead, the teacher will pull you aside to ask what you’re doing at home that’s made such a difference. Oh, she may also tell you about the hilarious thing your child said to her in class that day!

Stay at it!  You will make it!

With love,

Firm, Fair, Fun Parenting
children · Encouragement · Family life · Motherhood · Parenting

Firm, Fair, Fun Parenting

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This week I want to continue on with the parenting series in the form of some encouragement.  I know it can be difficult and wearisome when they’re small.  Teen years can seem to last forever with attitudes or questions about your choices.  Even the adult years of children can be challenging and stressful.  For that reason, we all need to have a biblical view of parenting – from the beginning to the end.  Let’s dig in and get some good advice from God’s Word to keep us faithful to this blessed call of building our children for the glory of God!

Obviously parenting is a daily responsibility, and sometimes it can get overwhelming.  Other days it’s discouraging because the children don’t seem like they’re “getting it.”  We then fall into a disheartened mode which also influences the rest of our family.

May I encourage you on your parenting road today?

I heard a preacher recently say that in parenting you need to:

  • Be Firm
  • Be Fair
  • Be Fun

All three are needed.

Be firm – Say what you mean and then follow through.  Don’t promise a spanking for disobedience and then not carry it out when you get home.  That kind of neglect takes a  huge amount of effort to undo.  If you’ve set a curfew for your teen, expect them to honor it.

Be fair – Too often we hit the first one strong and hard.  We’re firm.  “No!” “No!” “No!” at every request, every attempt the child makes, at every word they say.  But stop and ask if you’re also being fair.
What does “being fair” entail?  Being fair requires really listening. Proverbs 18:13 says,

He that answereth a matter before he heareth it,

it is a folly and shame unto him.

 Did you hear your child out completely before you answered them?  Do you understand where they’re coming from?  Or did you cut them off? If the teen was late for curfew, let them speak before you discipline.  Hear them out.  There may be a viable reason for their tardiness.   If we’re wise, we will obey the Scripture above and hear them out.  Let them know you care about what they have to say and that they are worth listening to.
Be fun – Lastly, we need to take time out for fun.  If things are stressful in homeschool, drop the books and do something just for fun!  If there’s been tons of stress in relationships, add a dose of something everyone will enjoy.
  • Go on a picnic for lunch.
  • Build a fort in the backyard.
  • Eat ice cream sundaes for supper.
  • Go shopping for sunglasses with your teen daughter and have lunch at her favorite place.
  • Learn to laugh – long and hard with your children
  • Isn’t it easy to scowl?  Let your kids see you smiling- and at them!

Firm, fair, fun.  If those words don’t describe your parenting, ask the Lord to help you incorporate the needed areas into your home today!

Which of these three areas is hardest for you?

With love,