Tag: Lasting Marriage

Marriage · traditions

Create New Christmas Traditions for a Stronger Marriage

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Last year my husband and I went to a bed and breakfast in Pigeon Forge for a little get-away. It was so refreshing that before leaving, we booked it for this year. We had all year to look forward to this mini vacation. That was half of the fun!

It seems like a crazy time to leave home with Christmas a week away, but honestly, it was a blessing. We had time to enjoy the beauty of the decorations in Pigeon Forge and Dollywood, as well as the B&B. We were able to take a breath before the busyness of hosting family and making final preparations. We were able to focus on our relationship and just spend time together. It was wonderful – hence the reason we decided we would return again this year.

And so, last week we enjoyed two nights away at this lovely, restful place. This is Blue Mountain Mist Bed and Breakfast. It’s minutes away from the bustling, tourist area, but far enough away to be quiet and serene.

They serve a hearty and delicious breakfast every morning for their guests. It’s always served on Christmas dishes in December, and the menu is also related to the holiday. One morning we had Chocolate/Peppermint pancakes, along with an egg casserole and fresh fruit. So good!

The hosts are so accommodating and gracious. The rooms are super clean and decorated for Christmas. In the evening they set out seasonal homemade treats for their guests. You certainly don’t go hungry!

We enjoyed our dessert in front of the fireplace one night – perfect for the cold night that it was!

Our time away gave us time to chat, pray together, and enjoy rest while not ministering with D&D, but gearing up to begin again in January. While sharing dinner together one night away I asked Dale if there was a new Christmas tradition we should start. He immediately said, “Yes, coming here each December.” I LOVED that suggestion!

Does it seem crazy that a couple married 44 1/2 years would decide to begin a new tradition? Not if we each understand that to keep a marriage fresh, you have to work at not getting in a rut. Beginning a new Christmas tradition, a new birthday or anniversary tradition keeps things fun and romantic! Starting a new schedule or a new date idea could be just thing a marriage needs to make it special again.

Going to Dollywood on a freezing cold night might seem ridiculous, but when you bundle up, and stay close together, you make a memory that’s worth keeping! We’ve decided we don’t want to grow old “grumpily!” As long as the Lord will give us health and energy, our desire is to enjoy this gift of marriage while we can. If we’re to show the Gospel in our marriage, it should reflect the joy that our relationship with Christ brings.

So how about you? Could you add something new to freshen up your marriage relationship? Could you begin a new tradition even this week of Christmas? Consider:

  • A drive with just the two of you, to look at lights and a stop at Dunkin for donuts and hot chocolate.
  • A small gift exchanged in front of the tree each night this week.
  • Filling stockings for each other.
  • Christmas breakfast out somewhere on Christmas Eve.
  • A special night away the week after Christmas.
  • Watch a Christmas movie in Christmas PJ’s
  • Read a Christmas devotional or part of the Christmas story each morning at breakfast.
  • Write a love letter to each other, expressing thanks for something from this past year.
  • Finish your Christmas baking together.
  • Do a gift of service together for someone in need.

No matter how long you’ve been married, a new tradition might be just the thing to add some freshness and deepen your relationship. I hope you’ll add something new! I’d love to hear about your ideas! Leave a comment about what you’d love to try to do!

Have a wonderful Christmas celebrating the Greatest Gift – the Lord Jesus Christ!

🎄

Packing for the Journey of Marriage, Part 3
Marriage · podcast

Packing for the Journey of Marriage, Part 3

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As we continue packing for the journey of marriage, it’s time to tuck away four more essentials into our suitcase – qualities that will not only make the trip smoother, but full of joy! You can listen to this post here on Refresh Her podcast.

7. The seventh item we need to pack away is a good disposition – Why do you need this? Because a spirit can drive our husband away. Here’s what Scripture says:

Continue reading “Packing for the Journey of Marriage, Part 3” →
Packing for the Journey of Marriage
Marriage

Packing for the Journey of Marriage

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You can listen to this post here on Refresh Her podcast. (There appears to have been some kind of strange glitch in the upload today, and I’ve tried to repost the episode. If it has my voice doubled over the introduction, just fast forward about 25 seconds and the rest should be clear. So strange!)

There’s nothing like packing for a trip, only to arrive at your destination to find that you left something important behind. When you got married, you had “packed your luggage” – not just for your honeymoon. You had filled your fiancé’s life with what you both felt would get you through this journey of marriage. What brought you together? Something had to have been “packed and ready ”between you and your mate.  What was it?  What attracted you to your spouse?  What kind of fun did you have in those early days?  Have you revisited those memories lately?

In Genesis 24, we get a little picture of the beginning of Isaac and Rebekah’s marriage.  There were many attributes packed into Rebekah’s character that Isaac could admire. Their story has some great lessons for our marriages and reminders of the things we need to be sure to bring along all the years we are married.

Continue reading “Packing for the Journey of Marriage” →
Marriage · Refreshment in marriage

Making a Marriage Last, Part 2

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Last week I shared some of the many ways my husband demonstrates his love to me. Not only is it a great blessing to me, it’s also a nudge to me to keep my own demonstrations active each day we’re married. I promised I would share at least five more ways he demonstrates his love towards me – gestures that make a marriage strong and lasting. So, let’s go!

Yep, these roses were a recent gift from my sweet husband.
  1. He protects me. Last week while I was taking my morning walk, I called him, alarmed at a car driving slowly up and down my country lane. Minutes later he sent me a text, “You okay?” When I didn’t answer within 30 seconds, he called me to ask the same question. He doesn’t smother me, but he lovingly protects me with gestures that remind me I’m not alone in life.
  2. He reminds me that he wants to spend time with me. Recently we realized that our mornings were getting consumed without us getting to spend time together first thing in the day. He asked if we could rearrange our morning routines so we could have that time together before the day got too busy. Wow, that spoke volumes to my heart. After 39 years, he still wants to spend quality time together!
  3. He still enjoys just having fun together. We play games, sing love songs in the car, ride bikes, go on picnics, hold hands while walking, share our meals together at the table, talk and share our hearts, enjoy a sappy movie, and laugh lots.
  4. He is such a servant leader. He constantly takes a back seat to his own needs so he can serve me. No matter how I refuse or want him to put himself and his own needs first, he always serves me first. He seats me at the table, opens the car door for me, brings me my morning coffee, carries anything I have in my hands, makes sure I have breakfast, the best seat, or whatever the pressing need is at the moment.
  5. He points me to our Heavenly Father. This is truly the greatest way to keep a marriage strong. Without the Lord, any marriage is weak because we’re depending on our own flesh. So every day Dale guides me spiritually. He shares what he is reading, what he’s praying for me and others, and he lives out personally what he talks about. He has shown me so much about how to live the Christian life with boldness and joy. He has helped me grow towards Christ in incredible ways.

Not only am I thankful for my husband’s loving demonstrations, I’m rebuked by them. I often say, “I don’t do nearly as much for you as you do for me.” Trying to out-do your spouse in loving gestures is a good thing and a good way to make your marriage last!

What could you do this weekend as a simple reminder to your spouse of your love for him?

Making a Marriage Last
Marriage · Refreshment in marriage

Making a Marriage Last

RefreshHer10 Comments

These posts are 99% written with women in mind. I want to encourage the hearts of women. HOWEVER, today’s post is not just a time to be grateful for my husband or just to help women, I also hope to encourage men in their role as the helpmeet to their wife. So perhaps you could send this post on to your brother or other men in your world. I trust this will strengthen marriages!

I loved my husband dearly when we got married 39 years ago, but every day he makes me fall in love with him over and over! He is not perfect, and we have our times, like every couple, but he is such a blessing to me every single day. There have been times I’ve kiddingly asked,

Am I dying? Why do you treat me so well?!

I totally do not deserve it, but I am very aware of God’s blessing and grace in my life in the form of my dear husband, Dale. It’s all the little things that make a marriage last the long haul. It’s the daily investments that make it stronger and give one another security in the relationship.

This week I’ve been “following him around” and snapping mental pictures of the many ways he is a blessing to me, of the ways he invests in me and our marriage. He had no idea I was doing this, and this is not our anniversary or my birthday. The things I’m going to share with you are normal for him. This is how I “caught him” pouring into my life…

  1. Sentimentality – He leaves “Love is” cartoons for me all over the place. For years he has been cutting them out of the paper and putting them in my purse, my suitcase, on the mirror, the fridge – everywhere. They are always so sweet and speak into our marriage so perfectly.

2. Help with the housework – This is our home, our laundry, our messes and he so graciously and willingly offers help with some of the chores. I usually always start a load of laundry each morning, but if he sees that it has stopped, he will put it in the dryer or fold it if it’s finished. He also vacuums most of the time, which is a huge blessing. It really does make me feel like this is a dual-occupancy, rather than just me keeping all the wheels going.

3. Spiritual leadership – I’m so grateful for the times we spend in the Word together. He has been intentional about reading from God’s Word and a devotional book together, usually in the morning (it’s hard to make it happen later in the busy day!). He also prays with me each night before we go to sleep. Many times he has taken me by the hand to pray with me about a burden or pressing need in my life. What a blessing this part of our relationship is!

Washing Dishes

4. Help in the kitchen – He always cleans up the kitchen after every meal. He appreciates my efforts to cook, and this is how he expresses his gratitude.

5. Help with decisions – I’m the world’s best with coming up with “great ideas!” He’s so good about getting excited with me about a plan I have to rearrange furniture or re-do a room. This week he visited a furniture store with me as I was looking for a new sofa for our family room (more about that in another post). He was patient. He helped me think through what would be best in that room. So many times, he just helps me think. I may be trying to decide what to do in my already busy day, or how I can minister in a certain way, and he will very easily come up with a 1,2,3 answer. I tease him that it’s always a three point answer, given his calling as a pastor! But his input is always so helpful. Also, he’s okay if I decide to make another choice. That takes humility.

I have at least five more reasons he gives me to love him more every day, but you’ll have to come back next Friday to read those!

What does your husband do that is investing in your marriage? I hope you tell him often how grateful you are!

If your husband needs help with these areas, pray. Also, ask God to help YOU pour into his life and your marriage and watch what happens!

Refresh your marriage with what you can contribute to your marriage today.