Marriage advice – Page 3

roller coasstera

No one wants to be forced to ride a roller coaster – especially when it’s an emotional one caused by stress in marriage. But, if we’re honest, we’ve all been there at one time or another. We feel like life is spinning and twisting out of control and all we can do is hang on and hope for a safe and eventual landing.

That Marriage Roller Coaster ride can also make you feel helpless, alone, and desperate. In the middle of a marital crisis, you can “feel” like you will never be happy again, that there’s no hope for your relationship, or that it would just be better if your marriage was over. These can all be dangerous emotions/actions, if not handled biblically.

How about if we just stop together and get a biblical perspective for those kinds of days?

Realize that your spouse is not your enemy. Satan is the one attacking your home. But the biblical perspective is, “Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world.” (I John 4:4) God is stronger and greater. He can get you past this hurdle, and that’s all it is – a hurdle. The good news is that hurdles are meant for jumping over!
Struggles are not a sign that your marriage is done. Jesus told us, “In this world you will have tribulation, but be of good cheer – I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 Since He has overcome, so can we! When two sinners live together, there’s bound to be difficulty at times. Add to the mix, children, who are also sinners, and you can have a house full of struggles! But, as in the roller coaster analogy, you don’t just jump off when you’re climbing the steepest incline of the ride! You sit tight, hold on (to the Lord and one another!), close your eyes (in prayer), and do the next right thing. Soon you’ll be pulling into the very place the ride started, renewed in your love and softer and gentler with one another.
Ending the marriage is not God’s answer to the struggle. Seek for restoration. Humble yourself and do what is necessary to obey Romans 12:18. Sincerely ask the Lord to show you if you are in the wrong. Seek the biblical advice of a godly friend who will love you enough to be honest with you and tell you what you need to hear – not what they know you want to hear. Lovingly talk to your spouse, when the time is right. Share your heart. Ask if you can get down on your knees and pray together. It’s pretty impossible to pray as a couple and stay angry. Again, humility is necessary on your part! You can’t change him, but with God’s help, you sure can change the girl in your shoes!
Believe the truth that the best is yet to be. Jeremiah 29:11 reminds us that God has a plan to give us a hope and a future, and that includes your marriage! You can both learn from this experience and enjoy greater days in the future, because of the restoration and reconciliation that has taken place.

Proverbs 24:10

If thou faint in the day of adversity,

thy strength is small.

Let the Lord be your strength, and climb down off that roller coaster, straighten your wind-blown hair, and don’t faint! Believe the biblical truth and press on for God’s honor!

Lovingly,

Denise Signature 150 px

This week I have had the blessing of spending a few days in Kentucky with my parents. Family time is always a blessing – even if it includes being here with them during a time of physical issues and tests, like this visit. I also got to see my twin sister and her husband – an added blessing! We always end up having many long conversations – in the library, in the sun room, around the table at mealtimes and in the living room while we rest comfortably in their lovely and restful home.

Last night I asked questions to each of my parents, my sister and my brother-in-law after we finished supper. I was thinking about the longevity demonstrated in the marriages in that room. My parents are approaching 62 years, my sister and her husband, nearly 39. My question to each of them was,

What is one piece of advice you would give to married couples to help their marriage endure?

Here’s what they said,

Mom ~ “To young married couples, I would say to move away from your parents for at least the first year. That way if something comes up between you two, you can’t go running home – you have to work it out together.
To all marriages, I would say something that my mother told me – ‘Never make your children the center of your marriage, because if you do, when they leave home, you’ll be strangers to one another.'”

mom-and-dad

Dad ~ “Each of you have to give 100%. You can’t do what you think is ‘your part’ and think you’ve done enough. Each has to give 100%.”

Jeff ~ “Learn to laugh and have fun. Don’t take yourselves too seriously. Remember, too, that you’ve made a covenant with God to stay together for life.”

dianne-and-jeff

Dianne ~ “Leave your parents and cleave to your mate! Also out-serve one another. Rather than wishing he would do this or that, do for him. Pray for one another!

That’s some good advice! There’s lots more that all of them could add, but I just asked for one top thing they would tell marriages in order to go the long haul!

Which one of these comments struck a chord in your heart? Why not ask the Lord to help you implement that characteristic into your marriage beginning today?

Refresh your marriage,

Denise Signature 150 px

Tag: Marriage advice

When Your Marriage Feels Like a Roller Coaster

Family Friday – Marriage Advice from Two Seasoned Marriages

What is one piece of advice you would give to married couples to help their marriage endure?