We made the trip back to Indiana, praying and knowing that the Lord knew exactly what was going on. Our baby was in His hands and we could trust Him. We travelled home on a Friday and my doctor’s office was closed by the time we got home. I had an appointment for an ultrasound at the hospital on Monday and decided that unless some other symptom occurred I would wait until then. Needless to say, the weekend was a long one, and my fears deepened as I continued to feel no movement from the baby.
On Monday morning I decided I should call the doctor’s office before going to have the ultrasound. I was pretty sure now that what the screen on the scan would show, and I felt my doctor ought to be the one to find this, and not some poor technician that would have to try to cover her findings. The receptionist told me to “Come on in and they would check me” with a tone of voice that said, “These pregnant women are so hyper about every little thing!” When they called me back to an examining room, I didn’t get to see my doctor – they had the nurse practitioner come in. She was methodical as she placed the stethoscope on my swollen tummy and listened…and listened…and listened. She excused herself with a flushed face and the words, “Dr. Woodruff will be in to check you in a minute.” I knew then that my fears were true – there was no heartbeat. Our baby had died.
After the doctor’s examination and confirmation that the baby was no longer living, he gave me instructions to prepare to come to the hospital. It had been determined at the beginning of the pregnancy that I would have a repeat C-section, but now the doctor told me that a natural delivery would be best. I didn’t need the recovery from surgery on top of the emotional pain I would be dealing with.
I was scheduled to enter the hospital the next day and be induced. However, that afternoon after returning home the doctor called me and asked if I would wait until Thursday for the delivery; the maternity ward was full. Yes, I would. That seemed unthinkable and cruel to others that heard of this change, but for me it was a blessing from the hand of my heavenly Father. It gave me two more days to have my baby near me and prepare for letting her go.