Who Me? Respect Him?

When this picture was posted on Facebook recently, I had a friend write with the sweetest and surprising response.  She wrote:

(I) was just looking at that cute picture where you were looking up at your husband. Your eyes toward him show such a reverence. You are looking at him as tho he is just the most amazing person there is…and from what I see he is…but what about the times when he isn’t so great..I’m sure there are those times because he is human. As an outsider looking in I cant imagine him EVER getting upset with you or saying anything out of line or treating you at all in a disrespectful way ever! But to think that cant be true because he is human and God says we have all sinned. And looking at you i cant imagine you EVER smarting off to him, or getting mad at him, or having any sorta bad attitude…but to think that is also wrong cause i know you are human too…….so here i am coming to my sweet role model asking for advice.

 Let me in on your secret of how to still look up at him like he is perfect when he isn’t?  I want to be that way all the time not just when he deserves it! I know I should have this attitude because God says so…but i just need some practical advice. I need to learn how to not show disrespect towards him in his times of failure toward me. I don’t want to fake it. I want the reverence of him to be real.

Her question is a really good one, and one I think many wives ask themselves.  Have you ever wondered how to respect your husband when he behaved in a way that was less than respectable?  We all probably have because, as she said, we’re all sinful humans married to sinful humans!

This answer will probably take more than today to answer, but let me start with this thought: 
Ephesians 5:33 says,  Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.  The Scripture doesn’t give us a suggestion to respect our husband; this is a command.  We are to see to it, or make sure we do it.  Reverence isn’t an emotion, it’s a thought.  I choose what I think, therefore I can choose to think respectfully towards my husband.  So, let’s start with this simple, practical command and allow ourselves to think only respectful things about that man we married.  This is following the guidelines of Philippians 4:8- Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

In a practical way, here’s how you do that.  When the disrespectful thoughts such as how he doesn’t lead your family spiritually pop into your mind, turn that thought into a prayer.  “Lord, help Frank to lead me and our children in your Word, in prayer and in service to you.  Thank you for him, Father.  Help me to follow him and respect him today.”  Don’t allow yourself to dwell on him not leading your family, and don’t talk about it.  Instead, think about an area in which you can respect him, and think on that.  If the only thing you can think of is that he takes the trash to the trash can,

then dwell on that thought,
be glad for that and 
tell him how much you respect him for it! 

In short, pray about the disrespectful things, then dismiss them from your thoughts.  Dwell on the respectful things and praise him for those things!

Does this raise another question or thought in your mind?  If you would want to leave an anonymous comment, feel free.

With love,

P.S. We will continue with the answer to this good question again next Thursday.

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