What If a Husband Doesn’t Lead His Wife Spiritually?

We are in the thick of wedding planning here at my house.  With Alli’s wedding a short 11 days away, the engaged couple is checking lists, running errands, securing last minute items, and getting excited about the big event around the corner!  There is no way that after all this preparation, that they have even a tiny inkling in their hearts that they want a divorce!  They are imagining, as every young couple, their “happily ever after” lives together!

No couple strives towards divorce, right?  Yet many marriages avoid doing the things that will keep them from it!  My husband is doing a series of posts on his blog this week about “How to Make Sure Your Marriage Will End in Divorce.”  His counsel yesterday was, “Do Not Pray Together.”  In my ears, I could hear many women asking the question that begs addressing:  “What do you do if the wife wants to pray together, but her husband won’t lead her in that way?”  Good question!

First:  Let’s start with the DON’T’s

  • Don’t compare your husband to another man and say, “Why can’t you be like ______?”
  • Don’t scold him.  “You promised during the revival meeting that you’d lead me spiritually.  I knew you wouldn’t do it!  You always start something and then don’t finish it!”
  • Don’t nag him.  “Well, are you going pray, or do you want me to?!  Pastor says we should pray if we don’t want to divorce!”  Nagging (about anything) may get him to change for a short time, but it won’t stick  Trust me, on this one!  =(
  • Don’t jump in before he has a chance.  Sometimes the first step in praying together is letting him take the lead at mealtimes.  If you jump the gun and pray while he’s getting his thoughts together, he’ll think he’s not doing it right and will quit before he has even started.
  • Don’t correct him after he prays – telling him how he should do it or what he should/shouldn’t  say.

Now, let’s think about what to Do

  • Do ask him sweetly if he would pray with you before an event – a doctor’s visit, a job interview, your solo at church.  
  • Do tell him later how much that meant to you; how close you feel to him when he leads you, and how thankful you are for his leadership.
  • Do ask if you can pray for him before an event he has – an important meeting, a decision he has to make, dealing with a problem with one of your children.  Tell him later how much you love being able to pray with him.
  • Do pray privately and ask the Lord to bring it to his attention and cause his heart to be willing to lead you in prayer.
  • Do make a big thing of times he prays at mealtimes or with your children at bedtime.  Let him know how much you respect him for his leadership.

Often a man won’t lead because the wife doesn’t let him.  Step back.  Be still (quiet) and allow the Lord to do the work.  Not only will God increase your faith as He answers your prayer, but your marriage will also be strengthened and protected in a special way against divorce!

If your husband leads you in prayer, tell us how that came to be, and how you respond to his leadership.  

With love and my prayers for you and your husband,

2 thoughts on “What If a Husband Doesn’t Lead His Wife Spiritually?

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