Keeping Your Marriage Fresh

May I re-post something I wrote a few years ago?  With my daughter’s anniversary looming, I thought back on when I was baking cupcakes for her wedding...

My kitchen has been busy the last couple of months with my Kitchen Aid running lots! No, I don’t have tins full of Christmas cookies, I have a freezer full of cupcakes and buttercream icing! Our daughter didn’t want a traditional wedding cake for her reception, but opted for cupcakes instead, so I offered to make them for her.

I found a great recipe and got after it a couple months ago. Being the “do-ahead” person, I made a batch at a time and froze them in double wrapped Ziploc Bags to keep them fresh. After the cupcakes were done, I started making double batches of Buttercream icing. Those bags are also stored in the freezer waiting to be the crowning glory of the cupcakes!

I won’t ice the cakes until the day before the wedding, but this weekend I did a trial run to see how they’d look. I bought a special decorating tip to pipe on the icing. Wow! Did that tip ever help! Here’s the finished product complete with sugar crystals…

These little cakes remind me of what a great marriage is like.

1. For the Christian couple, there is a recipe to follow for your marriage to work.

  • Ephesians 5:22 – Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as unto the Lord. This isn’t an option for women – it’s a command. I must let go of my life and let my husband lead.
  • Ephesians 5:33a – Let every one of you love his wife as himself – This is every wife’s greatest need – to be loved.
  • Ephesians 5:33b – And the wife see that she reverence her husband. – This is every man’s greatest need – to be respected by his wife.
  • Philippians 2:3 – Let each esteem others better than themselves.

2. It’s our choice to keep the marriage fresh. Too many couples get married then quit dating each other. When children come along, they make them the focus so much that the marriage suffers. “Double wrapping” our marriage like I did the cupcakes means making real effort to keep communicating, spending time together, and building on the love that brought you together. Mommies are usually the one reluctant to leave their baby and go out on a date. Leave that little one with someone for an hour or two and go spend time with your husband! The baby will be fine! Your husband needs you too.

3. New tips will help your marriage. My new tip was a real help with getting the icing to be beautiful. After marriage, keep looking for Biblical helps for your marriage. Those “tips” can be found in the form of books by godly people, a couples’ retreat, or advice from a godly mentor. Keep challenging yourself. Keep learning and growing as a wife and homemaker. Having trouble keeping your house tidy? Ask someone that does that well how she does it! Can’t get a meal on the table quickly? Ask an older woman to teach you, or read books on quick cooking. We can all benefit from new tips!

4. Embellish your marriage with extra attention to detail. See those little crystal sugar sprinkles on top of the cake? That’s the part of marriage that takes it beyond having a good marriage to having a great one. It requires extra attention to – just like the cupcakes. They would taste fine without the sugar, but the embellishment makes them really special.

I am so blessed to have a husband who pours on lots of sugar (not just that kind) – the kind that lets me know that he really loves me. He brings me coffee in the morning poured into a mug he knows I’ll love. He leaves me notes on the bathroom mirror about something that just the two of us understand. He picks up the slack at home when I’m busy with life and he’ll fold a load of laundry or set the table when the meal is almost ready. He doesn’t have to do those things; our marriage would survive without all those sprinkles, but boy, it sure makes an ordinary marriage extraordinary! I am so blessed.

The point here is that we have to look for opportunities to pour it on. Buy his favorite candy bar, pick up his dry cleaning, run an errand for him even if it’s out of your way, or send him a text when he’s stressed. We have to look for ways to show our love in little ways and think of him instead of ourselves.

Recently I was at Cracker Barrel’s store and this older woman was reading their greeting cards. She saw me walking towards her and she said, “Here’s a good card! It says, ‘To my husband at Christmas, it’s not about what you give me for Christmas, it’s about what you give me all year long!’ That’s the truth and the men need to know that!” she said in a disgusted tone. I told her that I had a husband who was very thoughtful about doing little things for me all year. She looked at me like I was from Mars and then she said, “Well, you better appreciate him!” “Oh, I do!” I assured her. It’s easy to get the focus on ourselves and what our husband’s doing or not doing. Instead, we need to get out the sugar and sprinkle it on with great determination to let our love for him really show!

In today’s world, it’s rare to see a marriage that lasts longer than a batch of cupcakes. These are very simplistic analogies, but I encourage you to follow God’s recipe, keep it fresh, learn new tips, and then add the little touches that will not only help your marriage to last, but will take your marriage from average to fantastic!

What are you doing to keep your marriage fresh?

With love,

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