I’ll never forget one of the first big disagreements my husband and I had shortly into our marriage. I truly don’t even remember what the issue was over, but I do remember that my heart was crushed. I was sure we were in a desperate state. It seemed like we were miles apart. Icy words had been spoken. A wall had been erected and I wondered if things would ever be right again. Then within a day we had both humbled ourselves so we could apologize and move forward. Because of the grace of God we could be right with Him and one another. I was so thankful. So relieved.
Since then there have been many hard spots – far more difficult than the earlier memory I shared. I wish I could say they were all resolved as quickly as that first big one, but that’s sadly not true. There have been many disagreements and times where one or both of us didn’t respond in a godly manner, but again, eventually we came to the cross and, realizing our own forgiveness, we could forgive one another.
I share this because I never want to give the impression that our relationship is all Adventures on the Scenic Route. I will admit that the longer we’ve been married, it seems the longer the span is between times of hardship. This is because of the increasing depth of our walk with God and one another. Please note – I didn’t say there are none – I said they are fewer.
Remember that every marriage is a journey of sorts. For even the best relationships, it’s not all mountain top experiences. There are valleys with twists and turns that can make you sick to your stomach. Hardships and testings that resemble a long, dark ride through a tunnel can last far longer than anyone would ever dream. Every marriage experiences times like these for various reasons simply because there are two sinners living under one roof.
But never forget that those hard times don’t make us desperate if we know Christ as our Savior. He is our hope of eternal life, and He is our hope in this life. The hope He brings to our marriage is that the Gospel changes everything. Because of Calvary, I have been forgiven, therefore, I can forgive in the same way. I have been loved with a sacrificial love; I can love my mate sacrificially. Christ’s submission to His Father is the example for me in my marriage. At the cross I was forgiven of everything.
I look to the cross and I learn how I must respond to my husband. Humility, love, submission, sacrifice and forgiveness – these are my mandates because this is how Christ responded to my sin.
That gives me hope. That gives my marriage hope.
When the “scenic route” of your marriage takes a wrong turn onto the Hopeless Highway, look into your rear view mirror and see the cross. Then make a U-Turn.
Jesus is the hope for your marriage. Love your husband like Jesus loves you.
If you don’t know Christ personally, I want to tell you that He loves you deeply – enough to die for you. Turn from your sin and put your faith and trust in what He did for you when He took your place on the cross. Tell Him you want Him to save you today. Whosoever will call on the name of the Lord shall be saved. Romans 10:13
I’d love to answer any questions you may have. Feel free to leave it in a comment or contact me a RefreshHerblog@gmail.com
In case you don’t follow Whitney at Come Home for Comfort, I want to tell you that she is doing a great 14-Day Marriage Challenge that starts today. There are prompts for things to do for the next 14 days that will help strengthen your marriage. You can go here to see the details!
Refresh you marriage by loving your mate like Christ loves you,