Author: RefreshHer

Marriage

Marriage Matters in February

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Marriage matters!  We talk about it a lot here on my blog.  It matters because it matters to our God!  If Christians don’t stand up and defend, first their own marriage, then the biblical view of marriage, then we have no right to complain when the state votes against it!

I love highlighting biblical marriages here.  I love showing what a healthy marriage should look like.  Note that I did not say a Perfect marriage, for none exist.  But if you and I value marriage as God does, then we need to be putting intentional thought into time with our spouse, intentional effort into respecting our husband with our words and actions, and intentional effort into keeping the love fresh and vibrant!

That’s why I’m encouraging my readers to Instagram pictures of ways they are showing Marriage matters to them.  There have been some great posts this month.  For whatever reason I’m not able to move those posts from Instagram to my blog, so I’ll share what I can visually, then tell you about a few highlights so you’ll have some great ideas of ways to make the most of your marriage!

  • The picture below was from my friend, Angie.  She found a recipe for Super Bowl snacking that she was pretty sure her husband would love.  She said how much it meant to him that she would plan a special food just for him!
  • Another friend made a coconut pudding for her husband that he loves, but she dislikes.  How thoughtful!
    Do you know what your husband loves?  Do you make an effort to please him – even if it’s something you might not enjoy?  That’s a rebuke to me, because it’s easier to make things I like, or that we both enjoy.  I need to do better at that!

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  •  Whitney shared about the importance of getting fixed up each day – even if it’s a day she and her husband are sharing together at home.  Putting on make-up and fixing her hair for him shows that he’s important to her!  It’s easy to be a little sloppy if we’re not going out, but what a message it gives if we look sharp just for our husband!  That is a great tip from a young wife!
  • Another friend bought a special seasonal treat of Reese’s Peanut Butter cups in the form of an egg for her hubby.  What’s your husband’s favorite candy bar?  What does bringing home a treat while we’re out say to our husband?  “I was thinking of you in the middle of a busy day!”  This is a great way to show your priority of loving your husband over your children…bring him a treat in secret.  The children don’t have to have one every time you spoil him!
  • My friend, Kellie, plays the piano for her church.  Her choice of an offertory was especially for her husband who loves the song, Victory in Jesus.  So in the middle of a church service, her piano playing was in essence, playing a melody of love to him!  It’s a little wink, a nod to him, saying, “I knew you would love to hear this song!”  How sweet!
  • Something that my husband did for me last week was to send me a text (while we were both home!) to say, “I need someone to watch Fixer Upper with me.  How about sharing some popcorn, too?”  This is a show we both love to watch together, and it was fun to turn it into a special time as we dug into the popcorn bowl and laughed at all Chip’s antics together!
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Again, whether or not you post your picture, I pray that these posts will remind you of the importance of being intentional (have I said that word enough today? Ha.) about pouring effort, love, words, and actions into your marriage.  It really does matter.

With love,

Parenting

Why You Shouldn’t Be Your Child’s Buddy

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For those of you that came over to see the marriage matters recap, please check back tomorrow! My bad! 

Working with first and second graders in our church’s Wednesday night ministry is so much fun!  At this age, most children love you simply because you’re spending time with them, and because you’re letting them know they’re important to you.

 

This is true at home, too.  When children are young they adore their parents.  Little girls want to marry their daddy and sons admire their parents like  super-heroes.  But as the years pass, sometimes those warm, fuzzy feelings fade for a while (even years).

It happens when parents begin the tough teaching that comes with being the parents.  Godly  Parents step up and point the child to their sinful heart’s tendencies, their need to be disciplined and the friction can begin. Why?  Because a child wants their own way.  The result is often an attitude and a desire on the child’s part to distance themselves from their parent.  Parents that want to be “liked” by their child will cave in at this point.  But there are dangers in doing so.

Here are three reasons you should never be your young child’s buddy:

  1. It’s not God’s plan.  Someone needs to be the authority, and God has given that responsibility to you.  Anything with no head is dead.  If your home has no one who is the head, your home life will be dead; lacking spiritual life.  God’s plan for authority begins with putting Him first, then the husband, the wife, and the children, and each obeys the authority over them – that’s how He intends for it to be,  and that’s what works!  Why do we think our idea would be better?  How can a child learn to obey God if they don’t have to obey Mom or Dad?  If they learn how to play their parents, they’ll think they can do the same with God’s will.  Our ways are not God’s ways, and your child’s ways are not your ways.  Teach them to come under the umbrella of  authority.
  2. You’re not training your child to leave home. This is also God’s plan.  When you are your child’s buddy, you’re making them dependent on you.  Each year at home should be a training ground for being ready to launch out to do whatever God would direct them to do.  They should be learning the skills necessary to step out and obey the Lord.  Cleaning their room, sorting laundry, washing dishes, loading the dishwasher, ironing their clothes, preparing a simple meal – all these things and more can be learned by the time they are twelve or thirteen.
  3. This is not the season for friendship with your child, but you don’t have to despair!  It can happen that you spend free time as friends, laughing and chatting away the time with your child – but it comes when they’re a young adult, on their own, and living independently of you ( of course you can laugh and have fun while they’re home – just not like you do with friends!). When it happens in that season, you will be so thankful that you waited for this friendship to be born.  It will come with a respect for all that you taught them when they were growing up.  It happens as a result of your example as an adult who was mature enough and loved them enough to discipline them and help them become a responsible, godly adult.

Proverbs 31 has a sweet promise – “She shall rejoice in time to come.”  It will happen in a different season than you are in now.  Your child might not like you at the moment, but that’s okay.  You’re the adult who knows what is down the road – a relationship that will be worth waiting for “in the right time!”

Lovingly,

 

Lunch

Make Soup with Leftover Mashed Potatoes!

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They say that “Necessity is the mother of invention,” and such was the case with the Potato Soup I made last week!  I had a LOT of leftover mashed potatoes that I wanted to use up, and the first thing that came to my mind was soup!  I have a  couple of Potato soup recipes that we love, but when you have red-skinned potatoes that are perfectly  cooked, mashed and ready for use, it’s a sure-fire ingredient for a delicious soup and also a 30-Minute meal!  Here’s how I made it:

3 Cups Leftover mashed potatoes (I used red-skinned potatoes with the skins on)
1/2 C Onion, diced
2 Tbl Butter
2 Cups Chicken broth
1/4 Cup milk
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
1/2 Cup Grated cheddar Cheese
1/2 Cup light Sour cream
Crumbled Bacon bits
Chopped Green onions

In saucepan, melt butter.  Saute’ onions until soft.  Add chicken stock and milk. Blend in mashed potatoes and stir until smooth.  If it seems too thick, add more broth.  If it’s too thin, add more potatoes. Add seasonings.  Add cheese and stir until melted.  Remove from heat, add sour cream and stir until blended.  Heat on stove just until warmed.

Spoon into bowls and top with bacon bits and green onions.

potato Soup

I don’t know about you, but I often get stumped about what to fix for lunch.  This was a great entree for noon, and really took only a little more time than stirring water into a can of soup!  I’m certain it was far better!  

The next time you have extra mashed potatoes, don’t toss them – try this recipe instead!  It’s so creamy and delicious you’ll want to make again again!

With love from my country kitchen,

Family life

Loosening and Laughter

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For this weekend you may have planned for lots of activities – maybe ballgames, shopping, cleaning, and housework.  But have you also planned for FAMILY FUN?  Maybe you will have fun with your family as you do those activities, but can I encourage you to also pre-plan for some fun?

Be intentional about thinking through what you could do as a family that would create fun, memories and laughter!  After a stressful week of school and work, everyone needs to relax and have fun!!  No matter if you’re single, married with no children, married with a whole brood – we all need to plan for a time of loosening and laughter!  Consider:

  • Making homemade pizzas.  Let everyone make a mini one and create it to their personal taste.
  • Playing games.  Twister, Spot it! ( I saw a version of this at Tuesday Morning’s this week!), Hide and Seek, charades, Sorry!, etc.
  • Watching old home DVD’s while munching on Popcorn
  • Look through old photo albums (be willing to laugh at yourself!)
  • Divide the family in half and have a two team digital scavenger hunt using Mom and Dad’s cell phones (parents as team captain).  Take pictures of things like:Everyone on a horse, trying on funny shoes, buying a cookie, etc.  Have a time limit and meet back and see who got the most/best pictures!

The possibilities are limitless.  Just do it.  Loosen up and laugh.  It will be good medicine!

Laughter does good like a medicine.
Proverbs 17:22

I heard a great message about this yesterday.  It will encourage you to keep having times of fun as a family!

Stay refreshed!

Parenting

Deal With It!

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Recently as I was going through my prayer journal and praying for friends, I prayed for a family with a pre-teen son.  These are kind of hard days at their house.  Attitudes aren’t always what they’d hope they would be (wouldn’t we LOVE it if our children were compliant every single day?!).  I prayed for the child.  I prayed more for his parents.  I asked the Lord to give them strength, encouragement and a continued love for this child and this time in his life, and for endurance for them when his attitude crops up, that they will know how to deal with it.

 

I’m pretty sure there is no family that doesn’t go through some turbulence at one time or another during the teen years.  It’s normal.  I remember feeling at times like all was lost – but it wasn’t, and we all survived.  Every parent needs to remind themselves that children go through stages, and while they need to deal with the problems as they pop up, if they stay on their knees and keep a right heart, it really will be okay.

Can I go back and repeat something in that last paragraph?  They need to deal with the problems as they pop up.  Parents can’t ignore an issue, just because it seems to be a normal thing kids go through.  We may say,

“Every toddler has temper tantrums.”  “Every home-schooler has issues not wanting to do their school work.”  “Every teenager rebels”, so I’ll just let it go.  We all did those things, didn’t we? “

BUT if you ignore it, you’re only asking for a child who will be self-willed, demanding of their own way all their life, and who will never submit to the will of their loving God who has great plans for their life!

All we need to do is look at Eli in the book of Samuel.  He let his sons go on doing their sinful acts, and the situation only escalated for him and his sons alike!  Can we say DEATH?  Yes, the Lord ended their lives, due to their sinfulness and rebellion.

The Scriptures admonish parents to teach, teach, teach.  You’ll feel like a broken record, but it’s your job.  This doesn’t mean nagging.  Nagging is talk with no action until anger is stirred.  Teaching your child is instructing them how to do something, even giving an explanation of how and why.  Give a time limit.  Then expect follow-through.  You check up on the child.  If it hasn’t been done, then discipline follows.  You explain again and repeat the process, expecting obedience.  Maybe something like this:

  • “Joey, it’s 7:30, and you need to get up and be at the breakfast table by 8:00.  Please come dressed and ready for school with your bed made and your room picked up.”
  • At 8:00 when breakfast is served and there is no Joey is at the table, you go to his room and find he has rolled over and gone back to sleep.  You (calmly) wake him up and stand there while you ask him to get up right then.  Remind him of the request, and then let him know that because he disobeyed, he will go to bed 30 minutes earlier tonight since it seems like he didn’t get enough sleep.  Also for the time it takes him to get dressed, make his bed and clean up his room, he will miss out on some activity later in the day.

You must expect obedience and then mete out discipline for the lack of it.  The same would go with a temper tantrum or “meltdown.”  It might be normal for a child, but it should not allowed.  Don’t make excuses for them.  Deal with it consistently.

No parent should lose heart if they are dealing with sinful attitudes and actions in their child’s life – even if it has to be done over and over.  The time to lose heart is when you’ve given in to their sinful behaviors.  Don’t be an Eli and turn your head away.  Be a parent who loves your child enough to teach them what is right according to God’s Word. Then keep reminding yourself that if you deal with it consistently, it will pass, so don’t give up!

Does this make sense to you?  Is there a question that pops up when you read this?  Feel free to leave a comment!

Cheering you on,