Marriage

When Your Marriage Feels Like a Roller Coaster

November 3, 2015November 3, 2015 RefreshHer1 Comment

No one wants to be forced to ride a roller coaster – especially when it’s an emotional one caused by stress in a marriage. But, if we’re honest, we’ve all been there at one time or another. We feel like life is spinning and twisting out of control and all we can do is hang on and hope for a safe and eventual landing.

That Marriage Roller Coaster ride can also make you feel helpless, alone, and desperate. In the middle of a marital crisis, you can “feel” like you will never be happy again, that there’s no hope for your relationship, or that it would just be better if your marriage was over. These can all be dangerous emotions/actions, if not handled biblically.

How about if we just stop together and get a biblical perspective for those kinds of days?

Realize that your spouse is not your enemy. Satan is the one attacking your home. But the biblical perspective is, “Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world.” (I John 4:4) God is stronger and greater. He can get you past this hurdle, and that’s all it is – a hurdle. The good news is that hurdles are meant for jumping over!
Struggles are not a sign that your marriage is done. Jesus told us, “In this world you will have tribulation, but be of good cheer – I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 Since He has overcome, so can we! When two sinners live together, there’s bound to be difficulty at times. Add to the mix, children, who are also sinners, and you can have a house full of struggles! But, as in the roller coaster analogy, you don’t just jump off when you’re climbing the steepest incline of the ride! You sit tight, hold on (to the Lord and one another!), close your eyes (in prayer), and do the next right thing. Soon you’ll be pulling into the very place the ride started, renewed in your love and softer and gentler with one another.
Ending the marriage is not God’s answer to the struggle. Seek for restoration. Humble yourself and do what is necessary to obey Romans 12:18. Sincerely ask the Lord to show you if you are in the wrong. Seek the biblical advice of a godly friend who will love you enough to be honest with you and tell you what you need to hear – not what they know you want to hear. Lovingly talk to your spouse, when the time is right. Share your heart. Ask if you can get down on your knees and pray together. It’s pretty impossible to pray as a couple and stay angry. Again, humility is necessary on your part! You can’t change him, but with God’s help, you sure can change the girl in your shoes!
Believe the truth that the best is yet to be. Jeremiah 29:11 reminds us that God has a plan to give us a hope and a future, and that includes your marriage! You can both learn from this experience and enjoy greater days in the future, because of the restoration and reconciliation that has taken place.

Proverbs 24:10 says,

If thou faint in the day of adversity,
thy strength is small.

Let the Lord be your strength, and climb down off that roller coaster, straighten your wind-blown hair, and don’t faint! Believe the biblical truth and press on for God’s honor!

Lovingly,

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The Most Delicious Go-To Cake Recipe

November 2, 2015November 3, 2015 RefreshHer12 Comments

Everyone needs a cake that’s easy to throw together when you need a fabulous dessert, right?! It’s also a blessing if the ingredients are things that are easy to keep in the fridge or pantry “just in case!” I have found that recipe, friends, and if you like German Chocolate Cake, you’ll be so glad to have stumbled across this fabulous and easy recipe! A sweet friend at church made this for my husband and me when we visited their home, and I fell in love with this cake at first bite! I used to spend hours assembling a three layer German Chocolate cake because it was so delicious that it was worth it, but honestly, this is every bit as delicious, but a thousand times easier! It all starts with a cake mix…

Upside Down German Chocolate Cake

Ingredients:
Betty Crocker German Chocolate Cake Box Mix – Super Moist
3 eggs
1 1/4 water
1/2 cup vegetable oil
3/4 cup chopped pecans
1 cup coconut flakes
1 8 oz. package cream cheese (softened)
1 stick butter (softened)
1 lb powdered sugar
1 tsp vanilla

Directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Spray 9×13 glass baking dish with cooking spray. Cover bottom of baking dish with coconut flakes & chopped pecans. Mix cake mix with eggs, water, & oil (per box instructions) and pour over the coconut/pecan mixture.

In a separate bowl combine cream cheese, butter, powdered sugar, & vanilla. Using a mixer, mix ingredients thoroughly until powdered sugar is completely dissolved. Using a rubber spatula, add cream cheese mixture to the top of the cake mix. The cream cheese mixture will sink down into the cake mix as you add it in.

Bake for 40 minutes. Slice cake into individual servings & serve upside down.

This is the cream cheese mixture that sinks down into the cake and makes it moist and wonderful!

It’s not beautiful when it comes out of the oven, but remember the top will become the bottom when you flip it over on each serving plate.

I didn’t get a great picture of the finished cake, because we were so excited about diving into it, but I promise you, this is out.of.this.world delicious!

What’s your Go-To cake recipe? If you don’t have one, I hope you’ll put this on your list to try!

With love from my country kitchen,

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Uncategorized

Autumn’s Splendor

October 30, 2015November 3, 2015 RefreshHer3 Comments

I’m not really writing a post today; instead I’m showcasing the best of the recent displays of Fall in my area. This kind of beauty, like winter’s glittering snowfall or springtime’s blossoms, won’t last for long. We need to take notice of it while we can. All too soon the trees will be as bare as the store shelves during the threat of a winter storm. So, here are some of my recent photos of Autumn’s Dazzle:

So how about if we put our phones down this weekend, step outdoors, and take a walk or a drive to the country and give autumn the attention it deserves? It won’t last forever!

What’s your favorite way to enjoy fall?

Stay refreshed,

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P.S. I’ll be posting my fall pictures on my Instagram account. You can follow them there. Denisec_refreshher

Marriage

How To Make it To Your 70th Anniversary

October 28, 2015November 3, 2015 RefreshHer6 Comments

We had the unique and blessed privilege as a church to honor a dear couple on their 70th anniversary! Yesterday, October 27th was Rod and Hope Carter’s 70th anniversary celebration. On Sunday night we gathered as a church to recognize them and give them the honor due a couple who makes it to this milestone that is reached by a very small number of couples.

To live long enough to be married 70 years is remarkable, but living 70 years together is even more unusual! In a day when commitment is as flippant as a teen age girl’s crush on the neighbor boy, it’s a blessing to witness two people who got married and were determined to keep their vows, “Til death do us part.” I asked Hope the advice she’d give to young couples getting together today and her answer was,

“Well, there’s a lot of give and take you have to do. Learn that! Oh, and get in a good church! We learned so much there! Where would we be without the Lord?!”

Here’s my interpretation of “Give and Take:”

Give love. Take on Christ’s image.

Give forgiveness. Take the high road.

Give kindness. Take humility.

Give service. Take the back seat.

Give a soft answer. Take biblical advice.

Give your time. Take the treasured memories.

Are you willing to give and take in your marriage so that you can make it to 70 years? Get in a biblical church where you’ll learn to apply God’s Word to your marriage. Then you’ll also have an example to give, and the blessing to take from it!

Lovingly,

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Christian love

Do You Despise Your Mother?!

October 27, 2015November 3, 2015 RefreshHer3 Comments

Sarcastic, disrespectful children – it’s a bit shocking to hear, isn’t it? Ugly words get hurled, like mud balls on the playground creating much more disaster than a load of laundry. But who are the children? Who are their parents? I’m not referring to teens and their 40-somethings mom and dad. I’m talking about grown adults who are hurling the words and attitudes at their elderly parents.

Perhaps it started when the parents got sick and needed special help from their children. Maybe it began when one of the parents died, leaving just one – alone, struggling, hurting and needy. It cuts into the world and time of a busy adult already struggling with other issues of their own children, marriage and jobs. This creates pressures and sometimes also causes wrong responses and attitudes towards the people we love and should care for the most.

Our loving God, who knows what happens in families, put a Scripture in Proverbs to remind us to guard our hearts, and to treat our aging parents with love, respect and care.

Why would a child have the temptation to “despise their mother when she is old?” She may:

Be in pain and be “short” with her responses
Be low in finances and be very frugal, to the point that you’d be tempted to shake your head
Be worried about health issues and be discouraged
Be lonely and need your company more often
Be sick and need your care
Be forgetful and need your helpful reminders of things, appointments, places and belongings
Be hard of hearing and need you to repeat yourself more than once

All of the above mentioned reasons could very well test a person’s patience, but let’s face it, when we were young children at her feet, did we not test her patience? Did she not give us extra attention when we needed it? Why then would we despise her for her needs?

It’s no mistake that the Lord, the Giver of our parents, placed this Scripture in His Word because He knew there would be a temptation for some to “despise” their mom at a time when she may need her children’s understanding and love the most. Don’t allow the changes that have come to your parents in their latter years to build resentment towards them. Love them they way that you would want to be treated. After all, you will indeed reap what you sow.

Lovingly,

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