Marriage

The Missing Ingredient

October 3, 2013July 14, 2015 RefreshHerLeave a comment

This past Tuesday night ended a four week long marriage session that we held here in our home. It was entitled, “Marriage Matters,” because marriage matters! I loved that there were newlyweds up to folks married 38 years that came each week. It says so much that they would take a whole month and spend every Tuesday night working on their marriage.

It tells their spouse that they care enough about their marriage to put all else aside so they can make their marriage even better.
It tells their children that they want to make the most of their relationship and in so doing, provide a stronger home for them.
It tells their God that they are desiring to honor the vows they made to Him on their wedding day, and are doing whatever it takes to make their marriage work.

On the last night we gathered, we talked about the things that come into a marriage that cause distance – things like: busy schedules, children, in-laws, pets, work, phone calls, unconfessed sin, and hobbies. At one point one of the wives mentioned that flirting goes by the wayside. Flirting…that thing you did when you were dating. It’s the little teasing, the playfulness that was a part of your time together. It seems that after the wedding, it’s easy to get used to being married and we don’t flirt anymore!

Did you know there is mention of flirting in the Bible? In Genesis 26:8 we read: And it came to pass, when he had been there a long time, that Abimelech king of the Philistines looked out at a window, and saw, and, behold, Isaac was sporting with Rebekah his wife. Sporting is flirting. Isaac was flirting with his wife Rebekah! They got caught by the king! When was the last time your kids “caught you” flirting with their daddy? That should happen frequently. In case you’ve forgotten how, what can you do to flirt with your spouse?

Sit in his lap.
Put your arms around him and embrace him sweetly when he walks in the door.
Give him a lingering kiss.
Put your head on his shoulder when you’re watching a movie together.
Leave him a love note in a secret place where only he will find it- in his wallet or dresser drawer.
Create a secret signal so you can flirt in a crowded room. =)
Fix his favorite dessert and serve it by candlelight in your bedroom.
Leave a note under the windshield wiper of his car.
Make plans to play a game together – laugh! Enjoy his company! Who cares who wins?!
Surprise him with lunch just for the two of you. Pick him up at work and go to a park for a picnic lunch you’ve packed.

Marriage takes work if you want one that is above average. You might have missed the Marriage Matters class, but you can still let your spouse know that your marriage matters.

How? You know!

Pastor’s Encouragement: Pray that your pastor will practice servant leadership, edifying the congregation with wisdom and serving with God’s agape love.
Husband’s Encouragement: God has wired us with different personalities. And often He will draw together two people with opposite strengths and weaknesses, on purpose, in order to refine us and help us. Sometimes the very strengths we love at first become points of contention later.

Is your husband organized? Is he diligent? Is he persistent? These are all related to a pattern of personal disciplines that are worthy of your praise—even when his bent for order and discipline comes against your bent for whimsy. Affirm him for these traits and how this helps your marriage function. .

Some men are naturally more spontaneous. They may be fun loving or people-focused. These are all related to a creative spirit that is also worthy of your praise—even when his bent for spontaneity comes against your bent for planning.

With love,

Christian Life

A Peek From (of) My Porch

October 2, 2013July 14, 2015 RefreshHerLeave a comment

Before we moved into our house, we used to sit in the driveway and dream about the day when we could move in and begin to make this house a home. A month and a half ago,

this is what the front porch looked like…

Now, thanks to some folks in a couple Sunday school classes at our church, we have two lovely rocking chairs to sit in and enjoy the view from the porch!

On Monday morning, though it was cool, I took my Bible out there

and enjoyed the quiet of the morning while rocking. I read my devotions while watching the fog in the field across the street lift like a sleeping child waking from his slumber.

It was wonderfully quiet and peaceful.

This is what we had dreamed about doing before we’d moved in! Now it is a sweet reality.

Do you ever daydream about heaven? Do you think about what it will be like to sit at Jesus’ feet and worship Him, talk with Him, and spend eternity with Him? One day that will be a reality for those that have received Christ as their Savior. It could happen today – in a moment. It will be far better than sitting in a rocking chair on the front porch – but it will be just as real! So park your thoughts in the driveway of heaven and keep on dreaming and living for that Day! One Day it will be actuality – it will be Home! Jesus is coming soon!

If you have questions about heaven and wonder what it will be like or what we’ll do, I would highly recommend Randy Alcorn’s book simply entitled, Heaven.

What do you think about most in reference to being in heaven?

Pastor’s Encouragement: Pray that your pastor will not give in to discouragement but will deal with inevitable criticism and conflict by committing himself into the hands of God, who judges righteously.

Husband’s Encouragement: Remember, “love covers a multitude of sins” (1 Pet. 4:8). Present your husband before others today in a strong, positive manner. Slip in a good word for your spouse. Resist the urge to correct or belittle him in front of others.

With love from my country porch,

Work

Sweet Work

October 1, 2013July 14, 2015 RefreshHerLeave a comment

My new house has lovely carpet upstairs. It’s soft. It’s comfy. It’s inviting. When you vacuum it, you can see the lines where the vacuum was. It looks neat and clean – until it’s been walked on all day. Then it needs vacuuming again.

That is NOT a complaint. It’s a fact. That’s how all work is. You do it today and it needs to be done again tomorrow. It’s the same way with making the bed, washing the windows, ironing the clothes, or cleaning the bathroom sink. But what a sweet sense of accomplishment to sit down and see the lines left in the carpet from the freshly vacuumed floor, or the sparkle of the clean windows, or the bed all in order with each pillow lined up and in their rightful places.

What is your attitude towards work? Proverbs 13:19 tells us that “Desire accomplished is sweet to the soul.” Work should be sweet to us! How do you respond to a basket full of laundry staring at you? What comes from your lips on Monday morning when you’re headed to your job? With what kind of attitude do you fix a meal, change a diaper, sell a computer, sew on a button, type up a power point, or wash a dirty car? Work is not a four-letter word. To be able to work is truly a gift from our God, who values work. To have the strength and ability to go hard after a job and see it to completion is a blessing. If you struggle with that, can I encourage you to make it a matter of prayer? Ask the Lord to give you the right heart about the work that fills your days. He will.

Another reason to have a right attitude about work is our children. If we expect them to be hard, happy workers, we must set the example to do heartily whatever our hands find to do. We should teach them exactly what we want them to do and then expect them to finish the job – to clear the table, wipe the table, sweep up the crumbs, shake out the place mat or tablecloth, and replace the centerpiece. Make sure they see the whole job all the way through before exiting the kitchen. Don’t jump in and do it for them. Make them finish the task until it’s completed.

You will be doing yourself and your child a favor by teaching them hard work ethics. Not only will they be a blessing in your home, but they will grow up to be hard workers for the Lord, wherever He should call them. They will learn that work is sweet when they watch and listen to you. So smile! The laundry in the hamper is awaiting your attention again. =)

What do you do to have a right attitude about your work?

Pastor’s Encouragement: Pray for a fresh divine anointing on your pastor’s ministry. Pray that God’s working will be powerfully evident both in his personal life and in the spiritual life of the congregation.
Husband’s Encouragement: If we are living in light of eternity, everything we think, do, or say is seen from an eternal perspective. Only two things will go into eternity—the Word of God and people. Be sure that you are focusing on the right things.

Does your husband have an eternal perspective that allows him to reject materialism and temporal values? Express your gratefulness for his value system, and praise him for putting eternal things before riches and other things of this world.

If this is a problem area for him, consider how you might alter your own value system and live for eternity in front of him, encouraging him to do the same. We will someday give an account for our failure to speak words of love and encouragement. Determine today that your words will be sweet and helpful, encouraging your husband to live for God’s Kingdom.

With love,

dessert

What’s Cookin’ in the Country?

September 30, 2013April 6, 2015 RefreshHer5 Comments

Welcome to the country! We have always loved coming home for a meal – country or not. There’s nothing better than coming home to the smell of dinner cooking and enjoying it in the setting of your own home! Even if it’s something as simple as Barbecued Chicken in the crock pot, when you serve it to people you love in an inviting setting, you will be touching hearts, as well as stomachs!

We are enjoying having Alli and her fiance’, Andrew here on the weekends as Andrew comes to intern at our church! My husband told them the only reason they were excited abut coming was due to the food. I’m not sure about that, but I love it when they get excited about what we’re having for dinner!

The cute couple (and a little look into my dining area!). Alli, the author of The Cheerful Closet,
will gasp when she sees I’ve posted this picture of her after she’d changed out of her
adorable Sunday outfit! Oh well, that’as the risk you take when your mother is also a blogger! =)

Barbecued chicken was indeed on our menu, but also a little twist on a potato recipe that I found on Pioneer Woman’s blog. These are Red potatoes that are boiled, then popped into a hot oven to crisp up. They are fantastic! I realized they’re also a good choice for a fast Sunday potato. I boiled them before going to church, then did the second half of the prep when I got home.

Here’s what we had yesterday:

Barbecued Chicken

Hot Crash Potatoes

Corn Saute’

French Bread

Caramel Banana Pound Cake

To do the chicken in my crock pot, I placed the chicken in the bottom then poured barbecue sauce over top. I also add about 1/2 cup of water. I put it on low so it wouldn’t dry out. Mine cooked for about four hours. My crock pot cooks a bit fast, so you may need to adjust the time for yours.

For the Smash potatoes, boil red skinned potatoes in water until fork tender. Place on a baking sheet and smash them down a little flat.

Place them on a baking sheet, sprayed with cooking spray. Drizzle with olive oil. Salt and pepper them. I added some salt/garlic/rosemary blend I had. Add whatever herbs you like. Place them in a 425 degree oven for about 20 minutes, or until crispy. Sprinkle with parsley.

This is a simple, but super yummy ending to a meal…

Ingles had pound cake buy one, get one free last week, so I chose a dessert to use that yummy baked- ahead cake. This is a dessert that you just assemble! Place pound cake on a dessert plate, then layer with sliced bananas. Drizzle with warm caramel sauce (I made one up last week, but you could just buy an ice cream topping) and top with whipped cream.

Caramel Sauce:

½ Cup butter

1 cup brown sugar

½ tsp. salt

1 tsp. vanilla

½ cup evaporated milk

In saucepan, melt butter, brown sugar, and salt. Bring to a boil, stirring with a whisk. Add vanilla and milk. Cook for a few minutes until it thickens a bit. Refrigerate leftovers.

Pastor Encouragement – Pray that your pastor will use wise time management and that he will seek God’s perspective for his schedule, guarding his time against unnecessary interruptions.

Husband Encouragement: Is your husband a forgiving man? Does he keep short accounts of your problems? Express your thankfulness for such a man. Does your husband seem to harbor grudges against you? If so, could there be things you need to change? Do you possibly need to ask forgiveness for an offense?

No matter how your husband handles his heart, you are called to freedom from bitter roots. Take time today to dig them out and remove what’s contaminating your relationship with your husband and with the Lord.

What was on your menu this weekend?

Is anyone giving out encouragement? Are you seeing fruits from it?

Thanks for stopping by my country kitchen today!

With love from the country,

dessert

Freshen Up Friday

September 27, 2013July 19, 2015 RefreshHer12 Comments

To freshen up your Friday, how about refreshment for your home and your wardrobe? My girls have both recently started blogs concerning these subjects!

Whitney’s is about comforts at home. She posted yesterday about creating an inviting front door. It’s true that sometimes people can be confused about which door they should come to when they arrive at your house. Whitney had some good suggestions about your front door making a little announcement that will help guests know where to enter. Check out her good ideas and pretty pictures.

Dressing is an area of life that can be a chore and a bore. We get into a rut of wearing the same pieces with the same other pieces in the same old way. Can you relate? Alli is writing a blog about creating a Cheerful Closet! Now, who wouldn’t welcome that?! She has some great suggestions about accessories, and also adding items to your wardrobe on a budget.

Could I encourage you about one other area of refreshment? It’s called hospitality. Think back to the last time you had folks over (other than family members) for a time of fellowship. Maybe it was recently; if so, I applaud you! If it’s been a while, can I remind you about what a blessing it is to invite people in for fun, food, and fellowship? It’s great!

Fall is an easy time to plan a simple entertaining menu and have folks over. Fry up canned biscuits in oil, then toss in granulated sugar and you’ll have a doughnut that is worth licking your fingers to finish! Pull out the Uno cards (after everyone has washed the sugar off their hands) and laugh and enjoy some great fun. Keep it simple and everyone will want to come again. The point is, you don’t need a beautiful home that’s magazine-worthy. You just need a simple menu and a heart for others. Obey the command to show hospitality. You’ll be refreshed as you refresh others!

If you need a great recipe for a fall dessert, I have a perfect tasting and perfectly simple one for you:

Pumpkin Crunch Cake
Ingredients

1 (15 ounce) can pumpkin puree
1 (12 fluid ounce) can evaporated milk
4 eggs
1 1/2 cups white sugar
2 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice
1 teaspoon salt
1 (18.25 ounce) package yellow cake mix
1 cup chopped pecans
1 cup margarine, melted, (I reduced this to 1/2 cup and it was great)
1 (8 ounce) container frozen whipped topping, thawed

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Lightly grease one 9×13 inch baking pan.
In a large bowl, combine pumpkin, evaporated milk, eggs, sugar, pumpkin pie spice, and salt. Mix well, and spread into the prepared pan.
Sprinkle cake mix over the top of the pumpkin mixture, and pat down. Sprinkle chopped pecans evenly over the cake mix, then drizzle with melted margarine.
Bake for 60 to 80 minutes, ( I baked mine about 40 -45 minutes!) or until done. Top with whipped topping when ready to serve.

Now for some encouragement you can serve up…

Pastor Encouragement: Pray that your pastor will be a man of worship and prayer, and that he will lead by example – teaching the congregation how to walk in a close relationship with the Father.

Husband Encouragement: When you look at your husband, what do you see? Strong arms? Hairy chest? Firm hands? Big feet? Rugged chin? Wide shoulders? Compassionate eyes? Broad smile? Whatever his physical size, shape, or characteristics may be, the way you see him has a profound affect. Almost nothing is as devastating to a man as the belief that his wife finds him repulsive. Sadly, many women unwisely criticize their husbands’ bodies.

Have you ever considered how wonderfully God designed men and women? No matter how a man looks—by the standards of the world — a loving God designed them all, and they are all beautiful in His sight. Encourage your husband today by praising his uniqueness.

As you look over your husband’s body, from the tip of his toes to his bald or bushy head, thank God that your husband is “wonderfully made,” then admire your husband verbally.

See you in church!

Be refreshed,