I’m seeing a trend that is spreading over the young people in our country. Over the last several years I’ve watched the dating scenario change in a huge way. I’m sure there are many reasons for the change, but it concerns me. Let me explain.

Years ago young couples met, got interested in one another, went out on a date, which led to another date and another. Soon their engagement was announced, and perhaps within the span of a year or a little more they were married. Often they were either just out of high school or college. Were times hard? You better believe it. Did they have lots of money saved, a great career under their belt and a house to move into? Hardly! But they worked through those issues together by praying to the God that brought them into this bond of marriage. The result was a deepened faith in God’s provision for them and a strengthening of their relationship.

I read an article yesterday that said, “Many young adults today view their 20s as a time for fun, travel, career-building or finding themselves — not for settling down.” The article said that the median age for men to marry is 28 and in girls it’s 26. This is the change I’m referring to. I think it also falls into the very selfish mindset of our society. A willingness to give up their lifestyle for someone else would require sacrifice; something that many aren’t willing to do.

I’m certainly not suggesting that a couple rush into marriage, but if a couple believes that God has brought them together, they’ve had sufficient time to get to know one another, then why put marriage off? With the proper pre–marital counseling they will have the tools they need to trust the Lord for their finances and their futures.

I also feel for many godly young ladies who would love to date someone and eventually marry, but the young men have the “This is my time” mindset and put off dating, much less getting serious. Marriage is a wonderful blessing. While it isn’t God’s will for all to marry, the majority will. Why put it off? Perhaps young people have seen divorce in their homes and are afraid. Again, though, trusting the Lord who brings a couple together is what brings a couple through many hardships, be it relational or financial.

One of mine and my husband’s favorite memories of our early years is one that found us with a mere 56 cents in our checking account! Our first daughter was about 9 months old and we had no groceries, and obviously no money to go purchase any. We determined to tell no one but the Lord. We prayed. He prayed. I prayed. I specifically asked the Lord to provide the infant cereal that the pediatrician put our infant daughter on – Gerber oatmeal. I believe it was the very next evening after being gone from home, we pulled into our car port to find three sacks of groceries stacked their by an anonymous giver. One item in the sack was the box of Gerber cereal! Many times after that when there was a need, all we had to do was recall God’s faithfulness in providing for our needs at that time to reinforce our faith that He would do it again!

My encouragement to young women is to ask the Lord to do the bringing together of you and your future husband. He did it for Eve. He did it for Rebekah. I can testify that He did it for me, and He can do it for you. Date the guy. Get to know him well, then if you both believe this is God’s will trust Him for your marriage. I’m not suggesting you marry in high school, or too quickly, but I am encouraging couples to move on! Listen to God’s leading, to the counsel of your parents and pastor. Then “what God has brought together let no man put asunder!”

I’m thinking about adding a Monday post called, “What’s cookin’ in the parsonage?” I’ve had people ask me how a person can get a Sunday dinner ready so it can be on the table shortly after getting home from church. In an attempt to help, the post will include the menu and the preparations made beforehand.

I’m writing this today to see if there is an interest in this particular topic. Could you let me know if you’d benefit from a post like this? I’d appreciate your input. Thanks!

I heard of a situation recently where a parent was very stressed. There were pressures on the job, pressures financially, demands from family, time constraints on projects, and on and on it went.

The parent called their child into the room to do a simple task – sign a form and date it. After the child finished doing as was asked, the parent looked at the signature, shook their head, then gave a ten minute lecture on their poor penmanship, how it could effect their future, and what a poor testimony it was.

The next day, after a good night’s rest and time to rethink the situation, the parent went to their child and apologized for overreacting due to the stress in their life. They’d let all the pressures from life make this little thing a huge thing! We’ve all probably done the very same thing at some point in our lives. Being hungry, angry, lonely or tired makes a small matter a mountain to us.

That’s exactly what David did in our story in I Samuel 25. Nabal had been rude, unkind, disrespectful and denied David’s men supper, but this is not a capitol offence! David has turned it into a war. David really is acting out of character. He’d been so longsuffering with King Saul. But now, due to the condition he’s in he’s out of control. Proverbs 19:11 reminds us that it is a man’s glory to overlook a matter. That’s what David should have done – overlooked Nabal’s rude behavior, but instead he made it a battle.

In our study, in verse 24 Abigail has now reached David and his men and dismounts off her donkey and bows herself to the ground showing respect for David. We see her humility in her speech, her attitude and now in her actions.

She begins talking to David in one of the longest speeches made by a woman in Scripture. She’s not on a tirade. She’s calm. She’s in control. She knows what to say and to whom. Once again we see her godly discernment. She’s not bawling and upset. She’s calm, quiet, and respectful. Think about the last “speech” you made; perhaps it was to your husband, your child, boss, or neighbor. Perhaps you were talking to the fool in your life. Were your words calm, quiet and respectful?

As Abigail talks to David she doesn’t tear Nabal down; she’s just honest about what Nabal was like. Her goal isn’t to defend her husband or get David on her side. I believe the Lord was guiding her words, giving her the “tongue of the learned.” When we are in a crisis situation we must stop! This is the time to ask God for wisdom to know what to do, how do do it, who to go to, when to go, and what to say. Our Savior, Who is our Wonderful Counsellor, will give us the wisdom that we need so He will be glorified, we won’t be acting out of control, and we’ll know how to deal with the situation.

Thank the Lord we can be like Abigail rather than Nabal, or even overreacting David – if we’ll stop and pray before we respond. Who will you imitate today?

Abigail was standing between two angry and foolish men – Nabal and David. When we see her response we see that she didn’t fall into behaving like them, instead she remained the discerning woman she had been. Just because people around you are acting foolishly doesn’t mean you have to act like a fool. It’s easy to fall into their speech, their accusations, their anger, but you don’t have to!

In her response we see that she didn’t cower in fear. We don’t see her falling apart, crying, and sobbing that she didn’t know what to do. There had to be some fear there – 400 men were headed to her house! But she doesn’t let it keep her from getting up and doing something. She’s not passive. Even though it’s not her life that’s in danger, Abigail doesn’t sit at home. She sets about a plan to help those in the middle of the crisis.

It’s easy for us to not want to help when we see others in a crisis. We’re afraid of doing the wrong thing or saying the wrong thing, so we do nothing. There are those about us that are unsaved – they’re on their way to hell unless some Christian gets active and reaches out to capture them by giving them the Gospel. Who do you know that needs to be “rescued” from a perilous situation? Don’t be passive – reach out with the help only you can give.

In I Samuel 18 we see that Abigail got together the gift of food for David and his men. She does this quickly. She seems like an organized woman. She knew what to get and where to get it. You don’t see her flying all over the house in a fit trying to find the meat or raisins. She calmly gets it together. They were a wealthy family and had plenty to share.

Proverbs 3:27, 28 – Withhold not good from them to whom it is due, when it is in the power of thine hand to do it. Say not unto thy neighbor, Go and come again, and tomorrow I will give; when thou hast it by thee. What has the Lord put into your hand that He wants you to share with others? It may be a material need. Perhaps you know a younger woman that needs to be discipled and taught the Word. Does someone need you to pray with them about a burden they’re carrying? Don’t keep it to yourself; share with others when the Lord brings it to your mind.

Abigail sends ahead the gift to David and she doesn’t tell her husband that she’s going. In her wisdom she knew that he wasn’t in the frame of mind to hear what she had to say. Her motive was not one of deception – she was seeking to spare his life from David’s wrath. She’s was acting in his best interest. Her silence to her husband is the exception. Most of the time if we’re doing something behind some one’s back we’re the ones in trouble; in this case, it was Nabal that was in trouble and his wife was seeking to get him out of it.

A woman who walks with God will know how to act wisely in a crisis. However, we need to be preparing before the crisis arrives. You can’t take a crash course in the middle of the difficulty. How can a person be prepared before a crisis? By storing away the Word of God in their hearts; learning the character of their God.

I heard someone say, “You never know how you’ll react in a crisis until it happens.” That is partly true – I can’t know exactly what I will say or do, but I can have a good idea by what I’m doing now. Think of it this way – when a runner prepares for a marathon he runs every day. He exercises and stretches. He makes his runs longer each day until the day of the race. As he stands at the starting line he might not know if he’s going to win the race, but because of the preparation he’s made, he has a pretty good idea that he won’t collapse before the race is over. He’s readied his body and his mind. That’s what we need to do – prepare so we won’t fall apart in the crisis. We can finish the race. That doesn’t mean we’re perfect Christians; we all must grow until we reach heaven, but we know this – we’re stronger and more sure of what we know about our God so that when the crisis comes we’re prepared and we won’t come unglued.

Abigail knew what to do because she was walking with the Lord. When we are in the middle of a situation that a foolish person has created, the Lord will also give us wisdom to know how to handle it if we’re like Abigail and are walking with Him.

(Continued tomorrow)

I love reading through the Proverbs each month. The Lord so wisely scattered so many topics in each chapter. As I read through in the morning there are so many different warnings or exhortations given that I always need something that I’ve just read.

This morning as I read chapter 5 it was easy to feel “off the hook” when most of the chapter is a warning to a man about the strange woman. However, when I got to verses 18 and 19 the Lord brought a sharp reminder to my own heart. It says, Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe…”

The husband is to enjoy the wife of his youth. We wives can make that a hard task some days because we’re not being what the verse 19 reminds us – loving and pleasant. Every day should find us enjoying being married, not enduring it! It’s ironical, isn’t it, that when a couple is engaged they count down the days until their wedding. Some even know the hours and minutes! They can’t wait! Then not long after – a couple years, perhaps – they’re looking at each other with daggers instead of delight. What happened?

I’m not going to speak for the husband, but for us wives I know what goes on in my own heart. Instead of being loving and pleasant I’m lukewarm and parsimonious (a neat word that means stingy) in the love I give him. It’s easy for us to enjoy our friends and other family members – parents and siblings, but we’re easily irritated with our husbands for some little something.

This passage is directing its encouragement to husbands, but we wives need to do the same thing toward them that they’re asked to do towards us. What is that?

• Rejoice in him – Thank God in prayer today for the husband that He brought into your life and that you chose! Think about all the things that brought you together – the reasons you fell in love with him and rejoice!
• Rejoice in being married.
• Pray for your husband every day.
• Choose to be joyful today in the way you speak to your husband and the way you respond to him.
• Be fond of your husband and love him dearly. Think of ways you could display that today.
• Laugh with him.
• Spend time close to him, just loving him the way you did early in your marriage.

Other people can be my husband’s friend, but I am the only one that can be his wife…I want to do it well. I’m sure you feel the same towards your husband; we just get sidetracked sometimes. Let’s work today on being loving and pleasant so our husbands will have good reason to rejoice with the wife of his youth!